my sister abused me sexually

[B_HAZ]

 I didn't remember this until I turned 20 my entire life I was dealing with low self-esteem and chronic shame because of that, I worked on myself a lot and I'm better now but I can't forgive my sister 

I tried but I feel like I'm lying to myself

advice?

Edited October 2, 2020 by B_HAZ

[egoeimai]

Hello. I'm sorry for what you've been through. Keep in mind forgiving is about you, not her. You'll be able to release and feel better about yourself.

[evgn]

Sorry for what you are going through man.

How old were you if that is something you want to share?

[B_HAZ]

@evgn I don't exactly remember but I think I was around 6-8

[Preety_India]

I'm sorry for what you have been through. 

Have you tried therapy and counseling? 

Talking to a therapist every day will help you forget it faster and heal better. 

It will overcome the trauma. 

The other things you can do is work on your self esteem and try to stay happy most of the time. 

This will distract you from negative memory. 

Self love is important here 

Do not punish yourself because you're not at fault. 

By thinking bad about yourself, you're punishing yourself. 

Focus on the future. 

And try to create more love in your life. 

Love heals everything. 

 

[Preety_India]

What you're going through is self rejection. 

So you try to accept things that happened and accept that this is who you are, not reject yourself. 

After accepting yourself, you will be able to love yourself more. 

Liberate yourself from that inner rejection that came from past trauma 

Think that you're free. You are free from whatever happened. 

Invest in being proud of yourself. Encourage yourself.. 

The main motto is to empower yourself. 

And remember that even if you are struggling, that struggle is not bad, it also has a value, the value of labor. 

It's like you wear your scars with pride. 

 

[Nahm]

@B_HAZ

That’s terrible to hear. Sorry you had to experience that. Why’d she do that? Curiosity, exploration, maybe she was molested?

[B_HAZ]

@Nahm if she was molested then I'd be able to forgive her but I'm sure she wasn't 

do you think it's a good idea if I confront her 

[Nahm]

@B_HAZ

Could help with understanding, healing, closure. Also she might deny it, which might sting a bit. So, it’s hard to say. You’ve got to feel that out and choose for yourself. 

If you do, and she does initially deny it...try not to be too reactionary. Give it time for her potential shock and reactions to process. It might ‘open the door’ to talking in a few days.