Is Emotional Labour Going To Always Be Torture Like The Beginning?

[LifeLife]

Anyone here with a lot of experience with creating NEW radical change  can enlighten me if emotional labour continues to always be scrutinizingly painful or if it subsides with experience? Like do you ever reach a point where you just used to it and even if you realise you've set a new comfort zone its not scrutinizing to jump out of it? I'm very curious.

[Tancrede Pouyat]

That's right. It's a new comfort zone.

One of the things I've found useful, however, is to appreciate your new comfort zone, and compare it to your old one.

Also, don't confuse pain and suffering. Shinzen Young says Pain × Resistance = Suffering. The whole point of being aware of emotional labor is to reduce resistance and hence suffering. 

Thinking that you will have less pain actually amplifies suffering. It's not about how much you went through, it's about how much you want to go through. To me that's infinity, because I strongly believe that more pain = more progress. 

[Emerald]

10 hours ago, LifeLife said:

Anyone here with a lot of experience with creating NEW radical change  can enlighten me if emotional labour continues to always be scrutinizingly painful or if it subsides with experience? Like do you ever reach a point where you just used to it and even if you realise you've set a new comfort zone its not scrutinizing to jump out of it? I'm very curious.

It's sort of like lifting weights. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

[Chew211]

1 hour ago, Emerald Wilkins said:

It's sort of like lifting weights. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

And to add on, in order to keep getting stronger, you add on more weights. So your comfort zone pretty much expands as you go out of it. 

A golden thread of intuition from Elliott Hulse's "King": Do the thing that gives you butterflies in your stomach and a nervous smile on your face. The thing you want to do, but are too afraid to. The thing that seems stupid and unrealistic, and sometimes make you feel stupid as you're doing it, and after you do it. 

Thing won't always be successful, but you will grow as a person

I have a special story to share on this subject matter, if it would help. I have it attached. It's just a story where I did something out of character for me, but yeah. This event was a significant point in my life, it actually got me started on this path to self-mastery. 

 

ShortStory1CreativeWritingwBreifRefelctionFinal.pdf

[LifeLife]

@Chew211  damn I love that! and crazy story dude  keep doing shit like that man  if you keep doing crazy stuff like that and blogging it I bet heaps of people would be curiously on the edge of their seats for your work! On the other note, I will take that into account  cheers

[Chew211]

@LifeLife Glad you liked it

The main take away is that it feels REALLY uncomfortable, stupid, and your mind screams NO. Even after for a bit, you might feel a bit shitty. 

I will keep doing things like that, and I damn well will write about it!

I will admit that I've fallen back into a comfort zone, but an expanded one from before the events of that story.

I look forward to seeing how you push as well! 

 

[Emerald]

19 hours ago, Chew211 said:

And to add on, in order to keep getting stronger, you add on more weights. So your comfort zone pretty much expands as you go out of it. 

A golden thread of intuition from Elliott Hulse's "King": Do the thing that gives you butterflies in your stomach and a nervous smile on your face. The thing you want to do, but are too afraid to. The thing that seems stupid and unrealistic, and sometimes make you feel stupid as you're doing it, and after you do it. 

Thing won't always be successful, but you will grow as a person

I have a special story to share on this subject matter, if it would help. I have it attached. It's just a story where I did something out of character for me, but yeah. This event was a significant point in my life, it actually got me started on this path to self-mastery. 

 

ShortStory1CreativeWritingwBreifRefelctionFinal.pdf

That's good. I read what you wrote. I think honesty is the way to go. It'll help you find a good match instead of just a match. Plus, if it makes you feel better, I'm sure that she's used to all manner of guys (from ages 18 to 80) approaching her with anything from "You look lovely today miss." all the way to "Sit on my face b****." So, I'm sure that your confession that she reminds you of a character that you wrote probably wasn't that crazy seeming to her nor did it make her feel disrespected. So, knowing the experience of being a woman, I wouldn't feel in any way embarrassed about this confession because being approached is just life as usual to her. But definitely be as honest as possible in every situation, unless it hurts someone's feelings. Life is better when centered in authenticity.

[Chew211]

44 minutes ago, Emerald Wilkins said:

That's good. I read what you wrote. I think honesty is the way to go. It'll help you find a good match instead of just a match. Plus, if it makes you feel better, I'm sure that she's used to all manner of guys (from ages 18 to 80) approaching her with anything from "You look lovely today miss." all the way to "Sit on my face b****." So, I'm sure that your confession that she reminds you of a character that you wrote probably wasn't that crazy seeming to her nor did it make her feel disrespected. So, knowing the experience of being a woman, I wouldn't feel in any way embarrassed about this confession because being approached is just life as usual to her. But definitely be as honest as possible in every situation, unless it hurts someone's feelings. Life is better when centered in authenticity.

Actually, it seemed as if she wasn't used to people approaching her. The environment here, and the places the students come from, approaching someone straight up and stuff is very uncommon. I guess most people here are kinda sheltered. Like the only experience a lot of people have here is being asked out is to prom and homecoming

But thanks for reading it and giving me your perspective,  moving forward, as things get less sheltered for everyone, I bet I'll be dealing with people who have been approached many ways before. definatley will go about this way (easier said than done though xD).

Life definatley better centered in authenticity. I find the more authentic I am, the better my life gets. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest username]

My suffering reduced dramatically when I just accepted it and surrendered.  Your inner resistance is why you suffer. I used to agonize so much on whether my life was happy or sad or good or bad, etc. When I just realized that it was perfect under any circumstances, that's when I reached unimaginable levels of happiness.

You must AUTHENTICALLY be ok with having shifty, undesirable circumstances. That's Karma Yoga. Reality doesn't care about your likes and dislikes. Just accept that completely and internalize it. Then you are on your way to Heaven.