If I worked really hard, could I attract the girl who doesn't want me?

[ColeMC01]

@Preety_India Define obession please. Gay need shit is different from liking someone. You can be into someone without being obessed.

[Preety_India]

@ColeMC01  like he is over doing his simpiness without giving space to the girl 

 

 

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, ColeMC01 said:

@Leo Gura Well i know like 30 guy friends, all sorts of guys and most of them are like this. Most couples i know were as i am saying. This is maybe USA culture or idk where people do not care about each other before sex because you do not need sex to be attracted to someone. Love might need sex but that is another issue. I know girls that were not comfortable talking to a guy because they liked someone else even before kissing them. It all depends on age tbh, girls before 20 tend to be like this from my observations.

And i am not talking obessing and dreaming about marrying them and gay shit like that. I am saying just geniounly liking them

"If I work really hard, could I attract this girl..."

That is the context of this thread.

That attitude must be dropped.

[ColeMC01]

@Leo Gura That is needy af tbh, i do not support that. But i do not believe that you only get a girl if you do not care AT ALL about her. It is all about balance. Liking her somewhat version being obessed and making threats like this is quite a difference. I know a girl who really liked a guy even though he was being super needy with her and they had not even kissed. Why? Because he was handsome and did some cool shit. You can get away with neediness as long as you offer some other value like looks or status etc

Edited October 7, 2020 by ColeMC01

[ColeMC01]

@Recursoinominado Is it considered normal for guys to approach where you live? If you approached a girl would she think "wtf this is so weird, never happened to me what does he want from me?" 

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, ColeMC01 said:

I know a girl who really liked a guy even though he was being super needy with her and they had not even kissed.

Just keeping it fun and playful and not going overboard with the neediness. 

Both men and women don't like neediness. It's like begging. 

And I can tell 100% of the time that most needy guys (the extreme ones) have some issues. They are giving out red flags like hot cakes. 

Romance is playful not a begging bowl. 

 

[Forestluv]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Because a high-value guy would not care. And girls subconsciously know that. So they avoid needy guys like the plague.

A man who fawns over a girl he hasn't slept with is deeply cringe and unattractive. It reveals just how weak the man is.

I imagine “Don’t fawn and look needy” is the first thing guys hear in pick-up. Is it super hard for most guys to control themselves? Are they unaware of their needy behavior? Are women subconsciously aware of subtle forms of needy vibes?

[Preety_India]

 

51 minutes ago, Forestluv said:

Are women subconsciously aware of subtle forms of needy vibes?

Yea. 

They avoid it like the plague. 

Most men are unaware of this. 

 

Men need to understand that a woman needs a man she can be proud of.. 

She doesn't see that pride in a needy guy. 

 

[Hello from Russia]

12 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

They are giving out red flags like hot cakes. 

 

Wait, isn't giving out hot cakes actually good? They are yummi

Or you mean they are bad because they contain gluten in them? Sorry, I am confused

[Preety_India]

 

1 minute ago, Hello from Russia said:

Wait, isn't giving out hot cakes actually good? They are yummi

Or you mean they are bad because they contain gluten in them? Sorry, I am confused

My English is not fluent. 

I meant that they are giving out red flags like selling hot cakes. Means too many red flags raised too rapidly. 

Like an alarm going off (bigly ) 

 

[Hello from Russia]

7 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

My English is not fluent. 

I meant that they are giving out red flags like selling hot cakes. Means too many red flags raised too rapidly. 

Like an alarm going off (bigly ) 

So they are basically try to hype out themselves as really cool guys (hot cakes) but inside we know that they have a ton of gluten in them (insecurity, fear, misogyny), enough to take you into a hospital, so you avoid them at all cost, got you metaphor now 

Edited October 7, 2020 by Hello from Russia

[Proserpina]

41 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

This is factually false.

Most guys never get the girl who they obsess over. The more you care about the girl before sex, the less likely you are to sleep with her.

Because a high-value guy would not care. And girls subconsciously know that. So they avoid needy guys like the plague.

A man who fawns over a girl he hasn't slept with is deeply cringe and unattractive. It reveals just how weak the man is.

Yuh. 

[Preety_India]

@Hello from Russia  thumbs up. 

 

 

[Mada_]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

@Mada_ No. You are being super needy and low-value. She will never sleep with you due to that.

You have to stop caring about any one girl until she sleeps with you.

Zero investment before sex. Zero!

This is the #1 rule of attracting women.

So I would go about not caring about her through contemplation, emotional work, and aligning with/finding my purpose? 

So if I contemplate: 

What is neediness? Do I actually need her in my life? What do I actually want from life? This would be in the right direction? 

 

 

[Recursoinominado]

52 minutes ago, ColeMC01 said:

@Recursoinominado Is it considered normal for guys to approach where you live? If you approached a girl would she think "wtf this is so weird, never happened to me what does he want from me?" 

It is not normal in the sense that 99% won't ever approach, especially during the day, but girls often have this reaction, which isn't that bad since this immediately separates you from the horde of fearful guys. 

"This never happened to me" is your advantage. 

"What does he want from me" is your job to make it very clear why you are talking to her.

That's why i prefer direct approaches: "hey, i saw you and you seem very interesting, have to come here to say hi". Then i shake her hand one or two seconds longer than normal to increase sexual tension. Then you keep talking, silence is your enemy as she is probably a little nervous and silence makes things awkward. More often than not i like to address the elephant in the room and say: yeah, i know it is not every day that a guy approaches you on the streets (or whatever), it is just something i do. 

Your job initially is to establish a romantic frame and let her know you are not creepy or dangerous. 

Edited October 8, 2020 by Recursoinominado

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, ColeMC01 said:

if you do not care AT ALL about her.

Obviously you gotta care enough to want to arrange a date. But that should be it.

[Leo Gura]

47 minutes ago, Mada_ said:

So I would go about not caring about her through contemplation, emotional work, and aligning with/finding my purpose? 

So if I contemplate: 

What is neediness? Do I actually need her in my life? What do I actually want from life? This would be in the right direction?

 

It's much simpler than that. Forget about her and go meet other girls.

[Preety_India]

@Mada_

You need to forget this girl. It doesn't work like that. It's not about game. The girl gave you clear signs. 

You're simply wasting your time building unnecessary hopes.. 

You shouldn't be needy but approach confidently. And just show interest jn several women that you come across. Try to be clear and confident. Not needy. You are just presenting yourself as a good candidate.. 

If you are needy, it's like a candidate that says '"please give me this presidency, please please," nobody will elect such a candidate for a president.. 

But if you are confident, it's like a candidate that says " I am going to create great value, I'm matured and I can handle the issues and I need a chance to prove myself  and I'll take this country (woman) to great heights." 

Now such a candidate is elected as a president because he has shown a hope for great future cooperation and duty. 

The woman sees the man as someone who genuinely cares about her and not some guy who only wants to waste her time by begging her company.. 

So you appear confident. Most women see men in a provider role. As a big shoulder. Not a boy, but a man.. 

So when you are confident, her confidence is raised as well.

 

After all this is the guy she has to show her dad or mom for a future partnership. 

She wants someone dependable even if it's just a boyfriend. She needs to be able to trust. 

Build her trust. 

When a woman says no, move on, there are so many girls, she is not the only one. And once she says no, she is not thinking of you.. She has no thought of you. So no point in thinking about her. 

You can't force her to think about you. 

Sometimes persuasion works. But that's rare. For persuasion to work, she needs to give you that playful glint which means she might accept if you hang on a bit longer. 

If she nervously says no like a dry no, then she is not having feelings for you. 

It's disappointing but it is a good indicator that you should try another girl. But hey at least she is not playing with you. She clearly says no. So no confusion. 

[Preety_India]

If you wait for too long, you will also lose the chance of getting other women in that much time. 

That's what happens to people who only keep waiting. 

In dating There is no waiting. Once it's a sour deal, then wait for the next one till you get success. 

If you keep waiting for one, you lose others. 

Age doesn't stop. 

[bazera]

@Leo Gura

Quote

A man who fawns over a girl he hasn't slept with is deeply cringe and unattractive. It reveals just how weak the man is.

What about in less developed, stage Blue countries, where people have this idea engraved into their minds that sex until marriage is wrong. There isn't the same cultural context in every country, right?