I know what I should be doing, but I don't

[Godhead]

I am blessed right now with having a lot of free time with very little responsibilities since I am currently visiting an online school which currently requires very little effort. 

However, I notice myself just wasting a lot of time. And it's not even like I enjoy the time I'm wasting. When I'm actually being productive and work on my projects I feel much more alive and happy, yet I still avoid it. 

Why is that? Shouldn't I be pulled towards the things I enjoy? Where does this resistance come from? Is it an issue of identity? and how do I fix that?

[SamC]

This is a super classic problem. There is not something wrong with you - you're just seeking pleasure and comfort, because that's what the ego likes to do. That's also where the resistance comes from - you feel like you HAVE to do X, instead of wanting to do X.

You need to find a balance where you work on your goals consistantly, while at the same time not burning yourself out. This means that you need to find and be strategic with planning and executing, and do more research into your problem - cause the problem is deep. You're probably really hard on yourself for not following through on your goals, contemplate why that is, and try self compassion aswell.

If you have a lot of freedom, you risk suffering from your freedom. Find a way to set up some daylie goals/ habits that's worth your time - now that you have to opportunity. Don't be a perfectionist though - you will slack of, but make a plan that you can stick too and stick to it.

(  + investigate this subject for yourself more - this is self deception in eccense, aka your ego's preferences. You need to know more about the enemy, aslo known as yourself)

[Leo Gura]

Becoming great requires doing a lot of challenging things that will force you to grow. The ego would much rather play video games than face all that crap.

[JosephKnecht]

This guy said it best: 

 

[Godhead]

@SamC Great advice. thanks 

14 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Becoming great requires doing a lot of challenging things that will force you to grow. The ego would much rather play video games than face all that crap.

Thank you?

18 minutes ago, JosephKnecht said:

This guy said it best: 

 

New alarm clock ringtone 

[seeking_brilliance]

you possibly need more accountability. Either an accountability partner, or a progress journal on this forum. Retrain where you get your dose of dopamine from. 

[Dany Balan]

I have the same problem! I don't know what is to be done about this! But i feel like that no advice in the world would change things,its about finding the inner spark that will move us to do the things we should! As of lately i stoped watching self help and rather try to find answers within myself about how to change this situation! 

[Dinkle64]

Wow,

I just got here and I'm super glad I'm not the only one.  My recommendation would be this.  Find a schedule, possibly one online, but really vet through all of the ones you find because there is a lot of crap out there.  Currently, I'm attempting the 30 day live like a monk challenge for the month of October.  It has REALLY helped me pick my motivation back up and I'm beginning to feel real change in my spirit.

Edited October 1, 2020 by Dinkle64

[Leo Gura]

The first few years of getting into self-help are the hardest as you flood your mind with self-help theory but aren't yet serious enough to be doing sufficient practices. This leads to a lot of fancy new ideas and ideals, but very little results.

This is normal and not really a problem because you need to build some theoretical foundation before your fully roll up your sleeves. But don't drag it out forever.

[fridjonk]

Start with mini disciplines and challenges. 

That will likely lead you to take action on larger challenges. 

[Preety_India]

Start with a vision board. That helps tremendously 

Nahm is pretty efficient with this. You can ask him 

 

Use a reward system for all the hard work you do. Rewarding yourself creates an impetus. 

Keep an excel sheet of progress report that you will update weekly. 

Use apps in app store that keep a tab on progress. 

 

[Godhead]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

This is normal and not really a problem because you need to build some theoretical foundation before your fully roll up your sleeves. But don't drag it out forever.

Oh, I have been rolling my sleeves up for far too long, I know that it's time to get to work.

I've been working a mediocre 9/5 which was rather boring for a few years and I could maintain high focus, motivation, and work ethic.

Now I'm offered the possibility to work pretty much full time on the things I actually love and care about but I'm pissing my time away. It makes no sense.

I think it's what  @seeking_brilliance talked about, I need to be held accountable.

[Leo Gura]

18 minutes ago, Godhead said:

Now I'm offered the possibility to work pretty much full time on the things I actually love and care about but I'm pissing my time away. It makes no sense.

It makes perfect sense.

I explain all this in the LP Course.

What you were doing before wasn't real labor. Now the real labor begins: Emotional Labor

[Preety_India]

 

24 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Now the real labor begins: Emotional Labor

What do you mean by emotional labor? What kind of work is that? An example? 

 

[Leo Gura]

15 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

 

What do you mean by emotional labor? What kind of work is that? An example? 

 

Explained in LP Course

[Matt Skinner]

 

[sholomar]

It's all a matter of habits, which are things that are repeated enough times that they become automatic. The subconscious mind is the domain of habits.  If you have a habit of sitting on the computer hours a day browsing forums, it will take effort and you will feel discomfort (I see it being called emotional labor in this thread... very accurate)  when you try to do something else, even if that something else makes you feel good, because your body has this old habit ingrained in it like a groove in a record. It's almost like an addiction. Not everyone enjoys smoking or fapping but they do it anyways because they are habits that create cravings and stimulate the dopamine release when thoughts about doing them are made, which increases dopamine until the activity is done.. basically the more you think about doing it or try to resist doing it, the more you are going to want to do it. 

Replace old habits with new, do them every day, until they become automatic. Replace thoughts of the old habit with something more productive. Good luck. 

Edited October 2, 2020 by sholomar

[Sleyker]

Why don't you give bullet journaling a try? 

I was incredibly productive for an entire month using this method, then I kinda lost motivation lol. But I think it's great and you can start small at the beginning (which you should).

[nahtanoj]

On 10/1/2020 at 11:36 PM, Sleyker said:

Why don't you give bullet journaling a try? 

I was incredibly productive for an entire month using this method, then I kinda lost motivation lol. But I think it's great and you can start small at the beginning (which you should).

I really like this, I do this and the weekly review is really special to me. Is the one that motivates me the more. BUT the only shortcoming of this one is not having a long term goals. If you don't have a long term goal you are going to be persuaded by the lesser stuff. He says that he doesn't like long term goals because they didn't realise in the way he wants. That's the problem with everyone, we want to control things too much and we want our plans to be perfect but life doesn't work like that. Have the long term but if you create something different at the end, something that you are proud of; sometimes this is better than the plan you had in first place, but having the long term makes you keep challenging yourself and going forward.

[nahtanoj]

@Preety_India What is a good system of rewards? can you give me some ideas?