Lack of attraction - related to spiritual work?

[MoniniPanini]

Hello!

I've been practicing spirituality consistently for about 4 years now, and since I'm a big Leo fan, I thought this is the best place to pose this question:

Has anyone noticed a decrease in sexual attraction/getting crushes since starting their spiritual work?

Ever since I started making spirituality a priority in my life, and actually putting in the work, I've noticed I don't really... like anyone :)) I mean I enjoy spending time with friends every now and again, but I haven't had a crush/relationship/date for almost four years now.

I'm personally not really bothered by it, but I'm asking this question because I'd like to figure out if it's common or if maybe I have some other shadowy-problems I'm not yet aware of

 

Thanks in advance!

[Recursoinominado]

Yes, i am practically a celibate and this was not something i planned to do, just happened along the way.

Until not long ago dating, having sex was an important goal in my life but i guess due to a lot of factor, i just kind of dropped it.

The reasons i can think of right now:

1. Less needy, ok with being alone.

2. No need for external validation. Before i would try to hook up with beautiful women to feel like i deserve them and to show off to the "society". Today i am totally open to date average looking woman if i feel like it. This led me to have cool experiences with cool women that i wouldn't give a chance before and i am not that interested in women that just have looks and nothing more.

3. Lack of compatibility of values. I consider myself stage yellow, going to turquoise, so you can imagine that women that are stage orange and bellow don't interest me at all, only stage green (yet to meet one stage yellow one in person lol) interest me. 

4. Maturity. My focus is personal development, self-realization and my life purpose, anything that doesn't align with it i have no interest in. 

5. Having had a lot of sex before, especially with my previous girlfriends, i kind of had this realization that it is ultimately unfulfilling to me. I even experimented with a lot of drugs combination to enhance the pleasure but it is unfulfilling. I am yet to explore deeply conscious tantric sex (i only scratched the surface of that).

[mandyjw]

Attraction changes when you realize that it has no cause and happens to no one. It turns into something more like resonance. At first it seems like attraction is absent, but it's experienced differently and can still be experienced in some pretty wild ways.  This applies to more than just the area of romantic relationships. It's really about changing how desire is experienced.

When we start out with spirituality we often go down the "desire is the root of suffering" path, but it's not as simple as we'd like to make it out, we can't avoid suffering but avoiding desire. You'll only know if you're desire-less or resisting desire by how it feels, and that's always changing. 

 

[Thestarguitarist14]

2 hours ago, Recursoinominado said:

Yes, i am practically a celibate and this was not something i planned to do, just happened along the way.

Until not long ago dating, having sex was an important goal in my life but i guess due to a lot of factor, i just kind of dropped it.

The reasons i can think of right now:

1. Less needy, ok with being alone.

2. No need for external validation. Before i would try to hook up with beautiful women to feel like i deserve them and to show off to the "society". Today i am totally open to date average looking woman if i feel like it. This led me to have cool experiences with cool women that i wouldn't give a chance before and i am not that interested in women that just have looks and nothing more.

3. Lack of compatibility of values. I consider myself stage yellow, going to turquoise, so you can imagine that women that are stage orange and bellow don't interest me at all, only stage green (yet to meet one stage yellow one in person lol) interest me. 

4. Maturity. My focus is personal development, self-realization and my life purpose, anything that doesn't align with it i have no interest in. 

5. Having had a lot of sex before, especially with my previous girlfriends, i kind of had this realization that it is ultimately unfulfilling to me. I even experimented with a lot of drugs combination to enhance the pleasure but it is unfulfilling. I am yet to explore deeply conscious tantric sex (i only scratched the surface of that).

Damn, this is pretty much me.  Though I did not really have girlfriends.  I was always more of a “wham bam thank m’am” kind of guy which is even less fulfilling.

[aurum]

7 hours ago, MoniniPanini said:

Hello!

I've been practicing spirituality consistently for about 4 years now, and since I'm a big Leo fan, I thought this is the best place to pose this question:

Has anyone noticed a decrease in sexual attraction/getting crushes since starting their spiritual work?

Ever since I started making spirituality a priority in my life, and actually putting in the work, I've noticed I don't really... like anyone :)) I mean I enjoy spending time with friends every now and again, but I haven't had a crush/relationship/date for almost four years now.

I'm personally not really bothered by it, but I'm asking this question because I'd like to figure out if it's common or if maybe I have some other shadowy-problems I'm not yet aware of

 

Thanks in advance!

Hi Monini, welcome to the forum.

I have noticed a bit of change regrading sexual attraction. My pet theory at this point is that when we are more unconscious, our sexual energy tends to get stuck in our lower chakras. So we may feel what seems like a lot of sexual attraction, but really it's more about that energy needing to move.

As we become more conscious and our chakras open, the sexual energy flows more freely through our whole being. It's not getting stuck or being projected externally. So we can of course still experience sexual arousal, but it has a different quality to it. It's more "whole-body". And the attraction we feel is more genuine compared to just needing to move some stuck energy.

[Rolo]

I found spirituality made me more open in my sexuality because my practice was more connected with my body, and it created more sensuality in me and made me more intimate. The journey of feelings can be a very touching experience. 

[Rolo]

@MoniniPanini I found spirituality made me more open in my sexuality because my practice was more connected with my body, and it created more sensuality in me and made me more intimate. The journey of feelings can be a very touching experience.