Conscious Relationship Resources: What's possible in relationships

[Matt23]

Hey.

So I'm seeing how much I need and want to be in intimate connection with another man.  I really need it and feel that I am more of a feminine energy "type".  I lean that way anyway.  I say this since I feel that I need to intimately be in relation with another and be really connected with the other... like "one" with them or feel something like that connection... It's kinda vague but it's the best I got right now.

Maybe something like communicating, holding, sure, great sex, but also passionate and love sex too.  Something deeper.  But not excluding all other "primal sexing" haha.

I'm looking for some great resources that really demonstrate the possibilities within relationships to grow, mature, and develop really consciously and in love, connection and intimacy.  

Like, I can see how I'm writing this and focusing on the intimate connection part, but it's not meant to discard other aspects of relationships.  It's just that this seems to be the core or center at how I wish to proceed.

Anyways, I'm looking to create this type of relationship and want some great resources to...

• A) give me food for visioning in terms of giving me more ideas and possibilities for what's in potential for relationships
• B) give me techniques, theory, lessons already learned, traps, etc., as to how relationships function and more "proven" or solid ways to form healthy and passionately connected and vibrant relationships.

Cheers!

[aurum]

@Matt23

I can recommend you some of the Tantra books I've found valuable. Slow Sex by Diana Richardson, The Multi-Orgasmic Male by Mantak Chia and The Tao of Love and Sex by Jolan Chang all present a healthy view of sex. Unfortunately, they are almost exclusively focused on Male/Female relationships. I don't know anything specifically for Male/Male relationships.

That being said, probably many of the lessons from heterosexual couples still apply. Learn to be present and let go of any outcome when making love. Hold space for each other. Create sacred spaces and rituals. Know that your trauma and your partner's trauma will surface and to allow for it. Master your energy. Practice spontaneous acts of love to each other. This to me seems universal good advice.

I've still got a long way to go in this area but this is what I've found useful so far.

[Matt23]

@aurum Cheers.  Yeah, I'm taking the general stance that biological sex isn't as important as internal gender or the male/female/yang/yin kind of energy of teachings and people (i.e., the "vibe" of the person/teachings/resource). 

[Martin123]

@Matt23 I wouldn’t go as far as to differentiate partners regarding their feminine and masculine (ying/yang) energies.

 

we all have both, masculine is the energy of action and execution, feminine is the energy of emotion, creativity and intuition. It’s more about balancing these two energies within ourselves and that for the most part means allowing the overly masculine ego structure to be balanced with feminine energy.

 

the masculine is the energy of the mind. If you’re looking for balance, you need to lead with the heart and with your feelings. You would surrender understanding into the knowing of your intuitive emotional guidance, and then allow all your understandings to be reborn from your newly refreshed emotional perspective. Understanding would then be a byproduct of your most embodied emotionally mature healing, and not a way to try to achieve a goal or avoid a painful outcome.
 

when we try to understand, often what we are doing is trying to manipulate ourselves or our reality as a way of achieving what we want. But that’s not the way of surrender. Surrender says ‘lead with feelings first, and allow all understanding come to you when it’s time.’

 

if you’re looking for a relationship, instead of trying to figure out how to get one, surrender into the desire and worthiness that you want and deserve one, and allow the universe to sort out the rest.

 

all the best!! 

[Preety_India]

I can suggest Tao of Love.