How To Keep Calm?

[Uncover]

Hello!

I have a little question. How do you manage to keep your calm regardless the situation? I mean, is part of the human nature to act strangely when fear kicks in, when unexpectable things happen. But what about this fear of public speaking, or talking to your crush? These are not situations which can endanger your life but yet your heart is pounding and you start trembling and sweating. Or is this happening just to me?   Is there any way of stopping this sort of things from happening? To be really grounded in though situations?  

Thank you!  

[Evilwave Heddy]

This is a great little book I picked up at the library a few days ago.  I'd recommend giving it a read.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/This-Book-Will-Make-Calm/dp/1848662831

[philosogi]

22 minutes ago, Uncover said:

I mean, is part of the human nature to act strangely when fear kicks in, when unexpectable things happen. But what about this fear of public speaking, or talking to your crush? These are not situations which can endanger your life but yet your heart is pounding and you start trembling and sweating. Or is this happening just to me?   Is there any way of stopping this sort of things from happening?

It's not just happening to you!! It happens to most people. A start is to discover why people react that way (we care what people think). Have you watched Leo's video, How To Stop Caring What People Think Of You ? As you get to the bottom of the issue on an intellectual level, you can also practice getting over it, by keeping in mind the faulty logic that is causing you to react in that fearful way.

Another thing which I've found personally is very useful that I haven't gotten from Leo explicitly, is to recognize the adrenaline rush for what it is, and instead of being afraid of it, gradually learning to kind of "surf" the energy. I'm trying to use the adrenaline energy to my advantage instead of it using me!

[Lawrence]

27 minutes ago, philosogi said:

 "gradually learning to kind of "surf" the energy. I'm trying to use the adrenaline energy to my advantage instead of it using me!"

Yeah, this is brilliant. Never fight the adrenaline rush, resisting it will just keep you in the cycle... surrender/go with it and see where it takes you =)

[Beam]

Most actors get stage fright and many of the overly confident guys are over compensating for their inner nerviness , its common so don't be feeling like your special ! lol

Many girls know that most guys have a hard time asking them for their number etc. and really appreciate when a guy takes a chance steps out of his comfort zone and strikes up a conversation , without using pick up lines , instead use honest complements and general conversation to introduce yourself.

Don't worry about showing your nervousness , it is what it is , we all get nervous

 

 

 

[egoeimai]

Sure its  not happening only to you.

Its a way to react to different things as you said to a crush,talking in public..etc

But you can change they way you react by changing your thoughts and beliefs. Its gonna take time and you must practise it. Being more calmful. Find things that relax you. Im gonna give an example maybe is too too random but it might can help you. Yesterday I ate only raw foods.fruits and veggies. My digestion was super fast and I didnt even feel it,whereas other times I feel heavy in the stomach. So that tactic relaxed me very much and make me feel calmful. So you can try something similar,find something that relaxes you and you could manage your reactions better. So yesterday my dad made something that usually make me mad or super agry and I react yelling at him and then being sad of my reaction. But yesterday I managed without effort to stay calm not on purpose,but because I was on that mood all day. So I didnt react the way I used to. Im beginning to like this. Also I was surprised by myself  . So what you can do to bring the same effect? 

[FindingPeace]

There are ways to reduce fear or anxiety in situations. But I think the most cruicial first step is to stop figthing these emotions. We all do it. Perhaps we know a situation is comming up and we expect that we're going to feel anxious. So we try to deny it and fight it. We try to tell ourselves that we're not feeling it. We try to make it go away. We worry or panic about it. We get so focussed on it that it almost consumes us. The more we try to fight and deny the emotion the more it feeds in to and perpetuates it.

The thing to do is to accept it. Accept that it happens, that will happen or that it is happening. Let it be. Acknowledge it whole-heartedly. In fact feel in to it. I've actually come to find that by doing this, by letting these emotions just play out without resistance, that they lessen by themselves on their own. But either way I become detached from them.

A good way to help reduce anxiety, fear or nervousness is meditataion. And I don't necessarily mean sitting down for 30 mins to an hour. I find that if I'm feeling anxious about something, just taking 5 or 10 minutes out on my own to sit and meditade, just quieten the mind, works wonders.

Another thing I've noticed with these emotions is that they tend to happen more in the run-up to a situation than in the moment itself. How often do we sit around worrying about something only to feel fine once we get in to the situation? So sometimes, just realising this can help reduce the intensity of the feeling.

[Kyle007]

 Alot of people try to suppress there fears through positive affirmations or using some other type of technique. If you notice these actions are stemming from a place of fear in order to get rid of this feeling and hence creates more resistance and fear. What's needed is for you to consciously Allow this feeling to arise and have its full intensity. It's gonna feel very discomforting at first and you may even thing it's getting alot worse. The more you do this every time a fearful thought or emotion comes up both will start losing its intensity and you will start operating from a place of wisdom rather than fear.

[Beam]

I love reading peoples tips and understandings of these topics , it teaches me a more in depth way of looking at things.

 

I am going to practice allowing my anxious thoughts to pass bye without trying to stop them as I usually do by using detraction onto positive thoughts.  Worth a try