How Should I Deal With Jealousy?

[VincentArogya]

I was in a relationship with a girl two years ago and it did not end well. It was the first traumatic event in my life. Also, it was my first relationship. Although now I have warm feelings toward that person and I wish her no harm whatsoever, but there is this feeling of jealousy within me with a thought that says, "she left you for someone else or she cheated on you." Of course I have no proof if that's true and although I can intellectually discard those thoughts, The mind makes an intellectual statement saying that the other guy is you too. I think this needs to be addressed in a different way. On a consciousness level. But I am afraid I currently don't have the capacity to address it on my own. I'll be glad if someone could help me with that.

Edited September 29, 2020 by VincentArogya
Added more context

[Edogowa Conan]

@VincentArogya Jealousy is a natural human feeling, so you can’t escape it. 
 

But if you’re talking about escaping suffering in general, then meditation/shadow work could be good for that. Go to Leo’s book list, and look under ‘Emotional Mastery’. You will find various books talking about how to deal with suffering. Pick one and work on it.

 

[VincentArogya]

11 minutes ago, Edogowa Conan said:

@VincentArogya Jealousy is a natural human feeling, so you can’t escape it. 
 

But if you’re talking about escaping suffering in general, then meditation/shadow work could be good for that. Go to Leo’s book list, and look under ‘Emotional Mastery’. You will find various books talking about how to deal with suffering. Pick one and work on it.

 

Thank you for the recommendation. I will be getting the booklist soon. However, I am not looking to escape it. I am interested in accepting and integrating it. I have heard about shadow work and looked for articles and videos regarding this topic but nothing seems to explain the process of shadow work clearly.

[blandana]

Realize that there's always someone else out there.  I thought there was a girl that was put on this earth just for me, and maybe she was but she ended our relationship which could have gotten romantic for someone else with more money, who was older, and weighed less than me at the time.

I never found out why, she just stopped talking to me one day and I never got an explanation.

Since then I've realized there's more than one person I can feel very similarly about though, even if the first person I mentioned was who I got along with and felt like understood me the best.

I had suicidal thoughts when it happened but have since then gotten over it and can be happy about myself knowing I've run into a few other girls that I could see myself being happy or even happier with in the end, of course none of them worked out either but it's nice to know.