Got rejected by text

[Strangeloop]

I want to fuck this girl so bad, I somehow managed to build up confidence to ask her out. And I did. First I was blunt with my texts just going in there and trying to convince her that I'm a worthy catch. but all she did is reacted as I'm a deluded crazy person. She said no. I did not take it so I tried to talk her into it. She was stubborn and said no again. I was lost at that moment and was not really conscious of what I was writing. I tried everything. Don't know the last two messages I've sent were just ignored. I don't know. What do you think?

[Leo Gura]

Dude, you cannot build attraction via text. It will NEVER work.

Grow some balls and build attraction in-person. That's the only way. You're using texting to attract her because you're a weasel. You want to weasel your way into her pants, and she smells your weakness from a hundred miles away.

Text should only be used to set up date logistics and keeping leads warm.

Once she said No, stop texting her. NEVER try to logically convince a woman to sleep with you. It reeks of desperation, low value, and cluelessness. A woman will NEVER sleep with you from logical convincing.

She will never, ever sleep with you now. So move on to the next girl and do it right next time.

Also, stop giving a fuck about rejection. Invest ZERO into any girl until she sleeps with you. Do not even spend 15 minutes thinking about her. ZERO INVESTMENT.

You're gonna have to learn that the hard way.

[Strangeloop]

Damm.... Okay, got to take those words into acount. By what you said: I need to meet girls in person and attract them that way. I'm not saying I'm non-needy person. I'm and was pretty needy for most of my life. I guess that's why I never had a long term girlfriend. And I see what you're saying, with those girls with whom I was successful I was not needy detached in a way. As soon as I start to text too much that's when I ruin my date game.

[Leo Gura]

@Strangeloop

1) It's okay to be needy on the inside. You can't really help that. But forcefully contain it for expressing outwardly towards the girl.

2) Text very rarely, only to set up logistics. Every time you want to send a text, stop yourself. Put that phone down!

She can tell how needy you are simply from the how many minutes it takes you to respond to her texts and how many words your text contains. Your texts should be as short as humanly possible. K?

Do not engage in long wordy discussions over text. It's too needy.

[aurum]

5 hours ago, Strangeloop said:

First I was blunt with my texts just going in there and trying to convince her that I'm a worthy catch

Well that's your first problem. Leo is right, unless this girl is already into you I would not be swinging for the fences like that over text. At least call her over the phone. I consider texting only as a last resort if you cannot call / meet in person.

Also, I would contemplate why you feel the need to convince her that you're a worthy catch. I know you didn't mean it but it likely to come off to her as qualifying and unattractive.

5 hours ago, Strangeloop said:

but all she did is reacted as I'm a deluded crazy person.

Of course. It probably feels very abrupt and out of nowhere to her.

5 hours ago, Strangeloop said:

She said no. I did not take it so I tried to talk her into it.

More qualifying yourself. Digging your own hole.

 

5 hours ago, Strangeloop said:

What do you think?

I would shake it off and search online for some basics on attraction and talking to girls. I can't say if it would have worked out with her but you did not do yourself any favors here. Keep ya head up, it's just a skill you need to practice.

[Space]

@aurum Nice to see you back dude! 

[aurum]

16 minutes ago, Space said:

@aurum Nice to see you back dude! 

Thanks brother! Happy to be back.

[ColeMC01]

@Leo Gura Completely agree with the texting part. However, how does one manage not to think about a girl for more than 15 minutes if you have little to no experience. If you have multiple leads it can be possible BUT if a girl is special i tend to think about her a lot even if there are other leads, if the difference in quality of the girls is big

[Leo Gura]

55 minutes ago, ColeMC01 said:

@Leo Gura Completely agree with the texting part. However, how does one manage not to think about a girl for more than 15 minutes if you have little to no experience. If you have multiple leads it can be possible BUT if a girl is special i tend to think about her a lot even if there are other leads, if the difference in quality of the girls is big

By going out so much that you are so busy talking to other girls that you don't have time to think about it and no one lead matters. And also by training yourself never to invest before sex.

As soon as you think, "This lead is special" you screwed up.

Note: this is only during the early phase of dating. Once she falls in love with you, then you invest back and treat her nice.

[ColeMC01]

@Leo Gura I wanted to start cold approaching in bars and clubs with some friends who moved in my city but due to COVID in my city all bars close at 10 now and clubs are always closed. Any suggestion for places to cold approach ( i live in a country with super cold people btw so random street convos are seen as weird unlike the usa where it is MUCH more common)

[Girzo]

@ColeMC01 Nice photos and swipe "YES" on every girl on Tinder. Go out with every girl you can, even with the ones that are not in your type, they might have cute single friends. Strategic.

That's my current tactic and it works.

[Proserpina]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Note: this is only during the early phase of dating. Once she falls in love with you, then you invest back and treat her nice.

❤️

[Leo Gura]

6 hours ago, ColeMC01 said:

@Leo Gura I wanted to start cold approaching in bars and clubs with some friends who moved in my city but due to COVID in my city all bars close at 10 now and clubs are always closed. Any suggestion for places to cold approach ( i live in a country with super cold people btw so random street convos are seen as weird unlike the usa where it is MUCH more common)

Look man, Covid has thrown everyone for a loop. Now is not the time to start pickup. Work on other aspects of your development and you can try cold approaching in a year once things ease up.

I live in Las Vegas and the entire nightlife industry has been nuked from orbit for what looks like 2 years. Yeah, it sucks.

Be happy you ain't being drafted to fight in WWIII as your grandpappy was. The world doesn't revolve around your dick.

[Dodo]

All the tips by the pickup gurus above are correct for pickup.

For finding fuckbuddies. 

Fuckbuddies are just there to drain your sexual energy.  You pretend to be someone you are not, get in their pants and move on. 

Then you find yourself lost in a life of pretending. 

 

I tell you, the girl who deserves you will be the girl that loves you how you are, with all your imperfections. 

 

Idk why people chase sex. Well I do... But its better to look for love. Sex with random people makes you animalistic. With the right person its a deep magical spiritual experience. 

 

Be your real self with everyone. If she don't like you, that's great!! You didn't waste each other's time further with games of pretending.  

If she likes you when you are doing game and not when you are your needy ordinary imperfect self, then you are not having sex with the girl. Your imaginary character is. 

 

To stop oversexualising women you need to stop all porn stimulation and try to give up self pleasure. Then you grow into a real man naturally and will find a real woman. Enjoy.

Ps: celebrate your imperfections, celebrate your defeats. Each defeat brings you closer to victory. Be you.

 

Edited September 29, 2020 by Dodo

[Leo Gura]

52 minutes ago, Dodo said:

For finding fuckbuddies. 

Strawman

You're not gonna find love without fucking first.

[Sempiternity]

58 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You're not gonna find love without fucking first.

Sigh. Gonna say something blasphemous. Leo, sometimes I think you have alot to learn about love. 

Sex is an expression of love.

Edited September 29, 2020 by Jed Vassallo

[Martin123]

23 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You're not gonna find love without fucking first.

I'm sure you're speaking from the abundance of loving and intimate relationships in your life where you've created long-lasting harmony with a partner, right Leo?

[Martin123]

3 minutes ago, Jed Vassallo said:

Sigh. Gonna say something blasphemous. Leo, sometimes I think you have alot to learn about love. 

Really? Only sometimes?

I think that all the time

[ravlondon]

@Leo Gura It's normal to lose interest in the girl after you have sex.

Edited September 29, 2020 by ravlondon

[hamedsf]

there's no magic formula to present you to take it in order for you to be master of texting & building attraction whatever you want. every micro-behaviors that you demonstrate could tell the girl subconsciously that you are a desperate man. for example, convincing her logically is never gonna work because FEMALES ATTRACTION SYSTEM IS BUILT ON EMOTIONAL GROUND. of course, you need to invest in yourself in every aspect in order to plow your good outcomes. 

Edited September 29, 2020 by hamedsf