Fear of letting go

[4201]

There is a deep story within me which gives a purpose to my life. I'm scared that by letting it go I will lose reason to pursue what I am pursuing. I don't want to give up my current project. I want to finish it. I am basically scared that Truth will make me stop my project.  

That is foolish isn't it? Can I finish my project with Truth and consciousness or am I doomed to purposefully blind myself into finishing it?

My project isn't perfect. Opening this door makes me question it a lot. Can I finish what I started though? Will I have to finish it before I can reconnect with Truth?

[Natasha]

@4201 You working on your project is Truth. There is nothing outside of it. Truth is the full circle and the Strange loop - from the Relative to the Absolute to back to the Relative, etc etc...

[Litaken]

No it's not foolish. We like to clown others for their fears, but our other fears oh those are completely valid and realistic!!! Noone can differentiate between their fears and reality  What you are afraid of letting go really, is control. Our ego insist, that of course it's in control! Look I can control my breathing look I can stop it! That's control! But really, it's just interference, interruption, that the ego is capable of. It controls nothing. If you let go of control you'll immidiately find truth, which is from our point of view spontaneity. Everything happens by itself, the ego can only interfere. Counter-intuitivly you'll get more control after it, because you are not the ego  What I'm saying is, that basically holding on to your fears will mostly only interfere with your project. If you genuinely want to do it, you will do it after you let go of the desire to control it.

Edited September 27, 2020 by Litaken

[4201]

On 27/09/2020 at 10:19 AM, Natasha said:

@4201 You working on your project is Truth. There is nothing outside of it. Truth is the full circle and the Strange loop - from the Relative to the Absolute to back to the Relative, etc etc...

Me ignoring the fact that this project might be worth moving off of is not though. I have a feeling that I am purposefully deceiving myself for the sake of not giving up the project. This feeling is further reinforced by the fact my psychedelic trips are getting worse and worse, a symptom commonly experienced by users who ignore the advice they get from such substance.

The advice was probably close to "drop the project". I don't agree with it though. I don't think that's the best thing to do. But perhaps this thinking is funded on dysfunctional beliefs. Either way I won't get to Truth without letting go of my attachments.

On 27/09/2020 at 11:02 AM, Litaken said:

No it's not foolish. We like to clown others for their fears, but our other fears oh those are completely valid and realistic!!! Noone can differentiate between their fears and reality  What you are afraid of letting go really, is control. Our ego insist, that of course it's in control! Look I can control my breathing look I can stop it! That's control! But really, it's just interference, interruption, that the ego is capable of. It controls nothing. If you let go of control you'll immidiately find truth, which is from our point of view spontaneity. Everything happens by itself, the ego can only interfere. Counter-intuitivly you'll get more control after it, because you are not the ego  What I'm saying is, that basically holding on to your fears will mostly only interfere with your project. If you genuinely want to do it, you will do it after you let go of the desire to control it.

You make a very good point my friend. It's true that my story here is operated under the assumption of a me having some sort of free will. I will need to investigate this control much more closely.

Thank you guys