I Am Pretty Sure I Became Enlightened. What Do You Think? This Is How I Feel (dissapointed)

[PsychedelicTraveller]

Well well... I've been meditating for a few months for 12-16 hours a day (Since I wake up till I go to sleep).

I don't sit down, I just do whatever I did before but being fully present until my mind shuts off for the rest of the day.

The first thing I noticed (after like 3 days of meditating all the time) is that things became beautiful. I am really seeing objects now. I feel like I'm closer to them, or something. 

Every item looks more bright, detailed, and with nice shadows. 

Every single day I feel more and more dettached from my Ego/Identity.

I literally feel like I'm dead. Like a ghost. Because I know I'm not in the physical dimension so It's like people look at me but they don't really see me. They just see my body. I feel like I'm always at home, no matter where I am or how cold it is.  Kind of like I were in the Animus

I perceive my body as a vehicle or a portal to contact the physical world, but I know I'm immortal. There's nothing that can bother me.

I feel like playing Grand Theft Auto. I have complete free will because things like embarrassment or anger no longer exist. I can do whatever, without even being sure if it's normal or "acceptable". 

Now I am all the time beatboxing or doing whatever as I walk on the street and there's no embarrassment at all

I feel like I am somewhere behind the scenario, like I'm a dot or some kind of ball floating in an empty space, and from there I command my body.

There's total inner peace. But there's no happinness, nothing is funny, and there are no good or bad. I see things so objectively that nothing makes sense anymore, I can't really get into a conversation unless I get into my "Ego" again. Because I have 2 complete different perspectives on life, depending if I'm conciouss or not. I can switch from "asleep" to "awake" anytime I want. But being asleep feels like being a machine. 

I don't have a clear notion of time. It feels like a continous present moment all the time. Unless I get really distracted

I also feel like I'm older than anyone else

On the good side, I am okay doing anything, I have way more patience, objects look so interesting I can literally stay all the time looking at a plant!

It's a perfect virtual reality...

 

But I'm alone here. It's like being in a lucid dream, but I'm the only one who's lucid.

 

 

[I_Am]

You're not enlightened because you don't speak from the perspective of the self but from identity 

[PsychedelicTraveller]

9 minutes ago, Makis said:

Wow. Respect.

On your post in general: No, that doesn't sound like enlightenment, sorry.

What is it I'm experiencing then? Because I don't have an explanation. Is it derealization?

[PsychedelicTraveller]

7 minutes ago, Makis said:

Sounds to me like effects from the stimulation of the "psychic energy body". What kind of meditation do you do? I assume strong determination sitting and focusing on the breath. Right?

No. I do normal things but focusing on the present moment so much that the voice and imagination in my head shuts up and doesn't come back for hours. I then feel like walking in the matrix because everything is so extremely clear and beautiful. I'm not exaggerating.

[Matthew Lamot]

@PsychedelicTraveller

Why are you asking people who are not enlightened what enlightenment is?

Consult a proper teaching, with a proper teacher who is actually enlightened.

Or, continue to mess around with this childs play nonsense here on this forum.

 

[PsychedelicTraveller]

34 minutes ago, I_Am said:

You're not enlightened because you don't speak from the perspective of the self but from identity 

Then what might I be going through?

[-nbolt-]

pretty much what lamot said. asking questions like this on this forum will get you nowhere.

[Ape]

@PsychedelicTraveller I can relate really strong to your explanation of the two "different perspectives" and beeing able to switch consciously.

Sadly I can't tell you if this is "enlightenment" either.

Edited August 20, 2016 by Ape

[I_Am]

2 hours ago, PsychedelicTraveller said:

Then what might I be going through?

"You" were/are going through an experience. 

[PsychedelicTraveller]

57 minutes ago, I_Am said:

"You" were/are going through an experience. 

That's really helpful

[I_Am]

6 hours ago, PsychedelicTraveller said:

That's really helpful

You = the experience 

the experience = transient 

Transience = Non-permanence

"You" are in constant flux therefore "you" do not exist. "You" only ever exist as perception and as perceived.

[Blind Observer]

Maybe you're closer to enligthenment, you might go to a master for get initiated  with a tecnique designed just for you and your final step

[Oneness]

@PsychedelicTraveller

Are you enlightened?

Well.. test yourself..

try sitting without moving in a crossed leg position (Strong Determination Sitting) for hours, you will see that you are indeed not enlightened.

[Capethaz]

@PsychedelicTraveller No, you are not enlightened. You are developing samadhi, but far away from enlightenment yet.

[MarcusJ]

I agree with all posters on your question, "Am I in Enlightenment?"   I suspect you are closer than you think.  You are like a snail on a razors edge...  on the verge of being cut.  Keep going.... you are doing very well.

[I_Am]

On 20 August 2016 at 8:19 PM, I_Am said:

You're not enlightened because you don't speak from the perspective of the self but from identity 

OP I apologise I actually just read the title of your post when I responded because you used the word "think" and "disappointed".

I don't think you'd be disappointed if you were enlightened you'd see every experience as equally magical.

From what you say I'm experiencing similar which is a mindful awareness of neurotic patterns perhaps with enlightening moments. 

What I suggest to myself is to stay present as the self and surrender whenever the mind stirs up and just let it pass... It does feel like derealisation at times though

Edited August 22, 2016 by I_Am