Am I Maybe To Old School?

[Marks199]

Hello people I am 21 years old and I had some experiences in my life like sexual ones but not too much. I am trying to meet someone but its so dammn hard I try and I try but like nothing works I speak like 5 lenguages, I like to study, I am a hard worker, I love to do exercise with bars, I suffer from generalized anxiety because of some problems but I started to heal it much better than before I play chess but I don`t know why people are so much isolated with technology. I try to go out with someone like to hang around or something but like nothing seems to work, would like to hang around with a girl or to meet someone or to do stuff`s. Sometimes I think its impossible to hang around with someone here in Europe because we have so much technology I live in a little village here but when I go to south america because of the poorness of the people and the lack of technology they seem to be much more social I really don`t understand. Sometime It sound crazy but I think that I am ugly but there is also no logic because its not true. I don`t like internet or television but sometime because I have a so so good looking body I should upload a picture of me on the beach and by the way I live in a closed minded society with a very toxic family.

[Lynnel]

@Ivansmarks First of all simply by the way you are writing I can sense that your mind is in a complete mess.

Start by doing meditation and cultivate some other positives habits. Your inner space is very important while meeting someone else. 

Women do not care how many languages you speak, etc, if they don't feel good around you. Feeling good by yourself should be your first concern.

[Marks199]

I do meditation and visualization as well but my family is very toxic.

[Lynnel]

@Ivansmarks Then focus on achieving whatever is neccessary for you to move out first - because that would improve your life more than any relationship !

Also either way nothing external is really the problem, it's what inside you. Something external cannot ultimately cause a mess inside you if your inners are in check !

[Marks199]

I dont agree with you because you are surrounded by them. The pressure is constant.

[philosogi]

@Lynnel is right. 

Also, if you are making excuses based on external circumstances, you aren't taking responsibility, and therefore not advancing on the path of self-actualization.

The ego makes it hard for us to accept the truth.

[Marks199]

I take 100 % of responsibility, but if you live in a neoliberal family where no one listens to each other then it becomes scarry, everyone is judgmental no one let himself be helpt. I don´t know about your lifes I am trying to be independent. I got fired by my uncle and now winter is comming so I could have my money to spent on myself with the fire I got I depend from my toxic mother. I am a student suffering from generalized anxiety. Yes I can agree that I am 100 % responsible and yes I am the idiot because I used to listen to my mother just now I started to realize that I have no family, because neoliberal capitalistic family is not a family. We everyone in the family have money but we want the world just for us....YES I ACCEPT I USED TO LISTEN TO THEM. But you also have to know that there is a movment called the masonic movement that invented the third world order and it is said that it is the main reason why people suffer. I even wanted to publish a book with a writter that it would be called "life in a neoliberal capitalistic family-you are not alone" so young generations that are in problems would not feel alone.

[ajasatya]

i can only talk for myself.

the way i solved this was leaving home and learning how to enjoy my life. as i kept going further, i found more people that enjoyed their lives.

those who are actually nice to be with are those who enjoy their lives. and people like that value being surrounded by people who enjoy their lives.

so the best i can do is enjoy my life. everything else just flows easily. we're not special because of the knowledge we have. we're special because we're alive and we can appreciate it.

[Marks199]

The thing that scares me is that I dont know who could help me if I get a panick attack in a foregin city. At the same time I am scared that I end up alone with no one until my death.

Edited October 11, 2016 by Ivansmarks

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Ivansmarks  The anxieties that you mention are not unique, they are some of the most basic human fears. Almost everyone has worried about dying alone at some point. Many people spend their lives obsessed with the subject, even people in relationships. Be brave, you would make friends if you moved...plus you could save a little extra for a councillor if need be. YouTube, this forum, and your home village friends (via online) can help you, but most importantly, you can evolve to help yourself avoid panic.

In a sense we all die "alone" even if we are with someone, but more importantly, we are never really alone, because we are everything, we are one with the universe....

[Marks199]

Hello people I wanted to tell you that I developed some tricks to destroy my generalized anxiety disorder. The trick is to use the ying and yang energy in a good way and it is very powwerful. For example theyang energy is the male energy(logic, exercise,study) meanwhile the ying energy are the emotions. So I figured out to mix them in separated parts of the day during the day its yang energy(chess,study,exercise) necesary and during the night emotions (visualization,meditation and the main and most important emotional exercise is PERFECT sleeping). I figured out that sleeping decreases my anxiety brutaly alot. TNX for your supports I am starting to master my emotions. And do not use too much internet or social media aplications. Good luck to everyone.

[Xpansion]

Hi Ivansmarks,  I'm really sorry to hear that you are suffering so much.   Life is very difficult for a lot of people. It's also confusing trying to figure out how to be happy and feel connected.  I empathise with you.   Families in particular can be a really difficult area to navigate especially when they are all very toxic and deeply unconscious.  We can end up feeling a lot of conflicting emotions around this. We can love them because they are our family and then hate them and feel a lot of guilt. 

The first thing to do is to try and start to accept yourself exactly where you are. That means that if you feel lonely and sad and a strong craving to be somewhere else and your life be something else then recognise that you feel this and accept it with kindness and gentleness.   Notice all the negative thoughts that arise about your situation and other people and try to see how these thoughts effect your moods and emotions.   Take small steps towards things that will bring joy into your life. If you like drawing, walking, swimming, meeting people etc. then do those things. I'm not sure where you are but theres a great website called Meetup.com and people create social groups based on interests. You can find a group or create one yourself based on whatever interests you.   Connecting with others is really important when it comes to happiness.   Also maybe see if you can find some volunteer work for a few hours a week or fortnight.  It will help you to focus on something outside yourself, a greater cause. And you will meet people this way.

Lastly try not to blame yourself or your family or anyone else for your situation because it just keeps you stuck but instead accept that everything is dependant on previous conditions leading up to that point. You can then start to create the conditions necessary for a better situation. 

Always be kind to yourself. The personal development world can be a bit full on with everyone striving so hard to be something other than what they are. It can exacerbate intense feelings of dissatisfaction and inadequacy. Take it all with a grain of salt and use only that which resonates and works for you.  

I hope it all works out for you and I wish you peace and happiness.

Edited October 19, 2016 by Xpansion