What is the experience of infinity?

[Mvrs]

When people experience infinity is it becoming nothing which has no dimension which is it infinity? Or is it how I’m thinking (ofc not anything close to the non spoken truth here  ) but is it like you merge into actual infinity which is every lifetime across any dimension infinity versions of all those lives to infinity all senses ever all everything all at once but to do this u become nothing but it? 

[Unseeking Seeker]

@Mvrs it possibly depends upon the degree of awareness accompanying consciousness expansion. Yet, what is, is unmistakable.

[Enlightenment]

@Mvrs There are a few main characteristics of that experience:

Feels like you're not suspended anywhere, there is no up or down, left or right

Feels like you are the only one in existence and there is only one mind - yours (feels solipsistic)

Any boundary between your skin and air/room/bed etc, you and not you is realized to be completely arbitrary/imaginary

[Moksha]

It's like merging with an infinite stream of Consciousness. I still have a transparent sense of my human identity, but it's like everything is flowing through me and around me and in me, and that the deeper I is this. It feels like swimming in an infinite ocean of intelligence, creativity, and being.

So many similes, but I don't know how else to describe it. Just let go of thinking, focus your awareness on the Now, and experience it for yourself.

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, Mvrs said:

When people experience infinity is it becoming nothing which has no dimension which is it infinity? Or is it how I’m thinking (ofc not anything close to the non spoken truth here  ) but is it like you merge into actual infinity which is every lifetime across any dimension infinity versions of all those lives to infinity all senses ever all everything all at once but to do this u become nothing but it? 

This is the experience of infinity. This is infinity. No people experience infinity, infinity is experiencing being ‘people’. No “thing” becomes nothing, this is not a thing already / no thing / Nothingness. “Thing” is a thought, not an actuality. There isn’t a ‘you’ which ‘merges’ with anything. Infinity is appearing to itself in a manor which seems to make it seem like there is a ‘you’ at the center, which infinity (you) are, as well as the entire appearance which makes it seem like there is a center. “Every lifetime, dimensions, versions, all those lives” are just thoughts. Infinity is the awareness, aware of the “thoughts”, which are infinity appearing to itself. 

[Moksha]

12 minutes ago, Nahm said:

This is the experience of infinity. This is infinity. No people experience infinity, infinity is experiencing being ‘people’. No “thing” becomes nothing, this is not a thing already / no thing / Nothingness. “Thing” is a thought, not an actuality. There isn’t a ‘you’ which ‘merges’ with anything. Infinity is appearing to itself in a manor which seems to make it seem like there is a ‘you’ at the center, which infinity (you) are, as well as the entire appearance which makes it seem like there is a center. “Every lifetime, dimensions, versions, all those lives” are just thoughts. Infinity is the awareness, aware of the “thoughts”, which are infinity appearing to itself. 

Beautifully said.

[SoonHei]

@Mvrs  this: the letter G looks like a spinning arrow.

[student]

I don't know what's that, but I know that to be finite means to be a human.

[Nahm]

@Moksha ??

[seeking_brilliance]

Look in the mirror. 

[Corpus]

When @Nahm 's posts have you no longer thinking "WTF is this guy on about?"

[Nahm]

@Corpus ♥️

[Adamq8]

Existential terror,  did a 200 mcg LSD trip yesterday, and I was so close to losing this whole reality , i came to realized that my whole life had been something ive been imagining,  even the most important people in my life is completely imaginary and my creation. Im all alone for infinity. Got no reason at all to exist but somehow it still does. 

Imagine you had a girlfriend for 12 months now who lives with you, who is Kinda interested in spitituality. But when you started tripping she is GOD awaiting for you to wake up, it was like a switch went off, and she told me it always been like this forever and this is creation, Leo and all of you and this forum is something i created to distract me from my true nature, and after a while i realized that she was my imagination aswell...

 

[Bulgarianspirit]

8 minutes ago, Adamq8 said:

Existential terror,  did a 200 mcg LSD trip yesterday, and I was so close to losing this whole reality , i came to realized that my whole life had been something ive been imagining,  even the most important people in my life is completely imaginary and my creation. Im all alone for infinity. Got no reason at all to exist but somehow it still does. 

Imagine you had a girlfriend for 12 months now who lives with you, who is Kinda interested in spitituality. But when you started tripping she is GOD awaiting for you to wake up, it was like a switch went off, and she told me it always been like this forever and this is creation, Leo and all of you and this forum is something i created to distract me from my true nature, and after a while i realized that she was my imagination aswell...

 

Damm dude you broke the machine. But seriously this is the same as solipsism. ... Ehhh what can i say except, sorry.

I thought others could be conscious too, yet when i leave my body only i see, i can never prove other minds and perspectives. Spiritual people always seem to go towards solipsism first, i went through your horror as well, feelings of wait i'm already dead, everything is an illusion, i'm god etc.

However i also don't know if this is the exact truth. I think consciousness aka my real self can look at itself through many unlimited perspectives, aka it can be this ego BulgaraianSpirit, Leo,Adam8 and whoever else exists simultaneously. Something like multiple personality disorder, but more advanced. 

 

Idk what the truth is, i have been through what you have been. I have had these feelings, that i'am creating everything etc. However i have also been through the mess of realizing i'm nothing empty consciousness itself xDDD

Whatever it is, just enjoy the ride.

[Adamq8]

@Bulgarianspirit thanks brother. Well at the absolute level there is only me but somehow i create conciousness in others as well but if i get conscious enough all will dissapear, mahasamadhi was so close yesterday that i almost got sucked into a black hole and then i would have peeled off every memory and all of this world would dissapear but i got my self to cool down and im still here and im going to enjoy this life as much as i can, it is an endless loop wich will go on forever but after a while you forget that u are GOD. Btw all humans the universe and soliditity is utterly and completely imaginary ? i dont fucking understand how this is even possible.

[Bulgarianspirit]

7 minutes ago, Adamq8 said:

@Bulgarianspirit thanks brother. Well at the absolute level there is only me but somehow i create conciousness in others as well but if i get conscious enough all will dissapear, mahasamadhi was so close yesterday that i almost got sucked into a black hole and then i would have peeled off every memory and all of this world would dissapear but i got my self to cool down and im still here and im going to enjoy this life as much as i can, it is an endless loop wich will go on forever but after a while you forget that u are GOD. Btw all humans the universe and soliditity is utterly and completely imaginary ? i dont fucking understand how this is even possible.

Um... I don't want to elaborate on how it is possible.. All i will say is that an infinite mind can use a variety of bodies to speak to itself. i truly want to believe that just like a dissociative personality disorder, if one of the personalities becomes conscious it realizes it is all of the others as well. i have talked about this in other topics as well but basically:

Okay

All we are is living memory

not in a being's mind, we're just a living memory

a living thought

our surroundings made of memory

beings aren't really real, anyhow

bodies aren't real

it's all interplay of consciousness

it let me see it, it was beyond doubt

we are all the thoughts and memories of a mind

which self-creates and evolves

we, its own parts, do the creating

as we seek to experience, we create the experiences in the mind

the start, suns, the planet, none of this is real

it is here for us to play with, it is all play, our body

none of you are alive

the fact that there is more than one person in existence is a myth

We/I believe it though

Vehemently.

we are making memories of things, but they're not really happening, for things are not real

the things are part of what we see

when we look, we see

we expect to find, so we do

we expect order so it's there

We expect it to be consistent so it is

(the computer I'm typing this on keeps glitching, space isn't right)

it doesn't want me to type this

but I am a part of it that does so I will

all IS MIND

Not in the sense of our minds, they are just self-aware wrinkles in the larger mind, which is more like we'd think of as a memory bank perhaps

we are made of its body and we are its body

I am me believing that I am me and I am you believing that I am you

all that separates us is doubt.

Belief is the creator and doubt the destroyer

any self-awareness that it has depends on our self-awareness

on what we perceive

for we are it

yet it doesn't feel like god to me

perhaps because I do not want it to

but it has answered my request

and let me take the knowledge back

or rather, I did

I felt my body pared away

my limbs and fingers like hollow straws, then mere concepts

we are all of us looking at ourselves and being what we think we are

that is what we are

I am it, it is me, but I am a tiny part of it, while it is not contained in me
 

The multiple personality thing:

I must preface this by saying that I think salvia is potentially as deceptive as reality itself (Maya) can be, so nothing gleaned while using it can be positively known to be the truth. I take this as a comfort in the context of what I am about to relate:

The Darkest Interpretation Of Reality

On many trips I have found myself in a situation where I seem to just know things about the Universe. In many of these I have run across a dark interpretation of reality that I've never heard any of the New Age crowd talk about. Oh sure, I hear them talk about how All Is One and how great that is, and how we are all facets of the One that is All There Is, and when we die we return to that source, that loving source of all, and how mindblowingly wonderful that must be. I mean, it does sound pretty good. And I do get a strong sense that we are indeed all facets of the One Thing; that we are indeed all One.

The people that believe in such things generally say that the One separated into the Many in order to create the Universe and all within it. It was an act of love, so they claim. What else would it be?

On my travels into salvia space, I heard something else. (More accurately sensed it as if it had happened to me)

The One did indeed separate into the Many, but that was no act of love. It was an act of desperation fueled by abject horror.

The One went insane, you see.

The One was ALL that there was, the only single solitary thing in existence, and eventually after eons of that, it fractured into the Many in much the same manner that a schizophrenic descends into madness- out of sheer stark-raving terror. It was so *lonely,* so very *lonely,* and it could only hold dialogue with itself. More utterly *alone* than anything we humans can even begin to imagine, utter terror, the darkness of madness, and the prospect of eternal fearful isolation drove it to fracture itself into many minds all desperately trying to cling to and believe that they really are individuals which are completely separate from each other and above all else, that they're really definitely positively not in actuality only one being.

(please oh please oh please let's never ever ever let ourselves remember that we're really all just one solitary being, not that, not ever, never please never, anything but that...)

The whole reason we're "here" is so that we don't have to be *there.* There with the One, there in that awful state of knowing full well that we are not we, we are instead I, and I am fucking lonely and afraid and absolutely mindlessly terrified of my reality as the only fucking being in all existence. Not just the only being, but the only thing! Hell, there *IS* no existence, only me.

Anything but that, anything but that, anything but that. Worse than death is eternal solitude. Worse than death is not being the Many. Worse than death is being all that there is.

We cling to this reality with all our might, because it is the balm that soothes our brow, the sanity that we lack in our natural state as The One Single Being with nothing to do but contemplate itself and go eternally fucking nuts because of it.

God has multiple personality disorder, times infinity.

The first time this came to me it overwhelmed me. I actually cried for The One in pity, feeling it's awful pain, vividly sensing it's despair and loneliness, and then TERROR STRUCK ME as I realized that it was myself that I was crying for, for I am it, and it is me, and we are/I am a royal fucking mess. Yes, we/I deserve pity if anyone does, but there's no one to pity me but me, no one else to turn to for comfort, and no way to deal with myself and what I really am and remain sane other than to deny to myself that that's what I really am. I must live a lie or face my own insanity.

So that's what I've been doing, for pretty much eternity now. Reality is a by-product of my desperate need to distract myself.

I am the subject and the object. Not nearly as much fun as being the Alpha and Omega, let me assure you.

So the multitudes are all a self-inflicted wound to distract me from the fact that I am all there fucking is, and all there fucking ever will be, forever and ever, amen. Individuals of a certain introspective temperament such as myself seek one-ness, never realizing that we are only here as individuals in the first place because we are fleeing it desperately.

Maybe sometimes finding higher knowledge isn't such a good thing?

http://salviaspace.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-darkest-interpretation.html

[Bulgarianspirit]

Furthermore:

The "eternally complete consciousness," a. k. a. God/Goddess/Self is the Infinite One proclaimed by mystics from every tradition. Direct knowing of the One Consciousness dissolves the self who would be the "knower." There is no one standing apart from the One to bear it witness when awakening occurs. Rather, the individual self is understood to be an illusion of a separate identity. All duality ceases to have meaning; there is no opposition or division anywhere. In the deepest sense, no one can awaken to this truth. Becoming Self-Realized is the experience of knowing there never was and never will be anyone to become enlightened, and that nothing but Consciousness IT-Self is eternally real. Mystics throughout the ages have struggled to convey this apparently logic-defying Reality which seems to be saying that nobody is there when satori/samadhi occurs. But that is just it -- there is no body, there is only the One Eternal Self, the true Self who we all are. In this highest sense, we do not each have a distinct and separate Atman/Self. Rather, we are individuations, creative expressions of a Single Being. Throughout my life this knowledge has followed me as a reminder that nothing in this world is entirely as it seems, particularly not my own ego-self.

The few people I've personally met who awakened to the "you don't exist, nothing is real, nobody you love is real" Source/Self have been mentally and emotionally eviscerated by the experience. Yet for me, while still in the egoless God/Self state, there was also a spontaneous shift into the joy that Nancy later discovered was the second half of the equation. So I didn't spend years working through "issues" to get to that completion. My joy came during the experience of God/Self's ecstatic love for all creation -- even while acutely aware that all creation is maya, dreamstuff, nothingness.

So I came "back" from it both reverberating with love and shattered by the knowledge of God/Self's solitary predicament. Reconciling God/Self knowledge with just about any other facet of existence was a humongous challenge. For a very long time, although I continued to function normally on the surface, I was in a twilight world where nothing, including myself, seemed to have any substance. I pretended not to know what I knew, and I was ever in search of an illumined soul who might somehow help me bear the weight of my secret knowledge.

There was always an element of absurdity in the attempt to find someone who understood. I was ever aware that "I" in the encapsulated form of a human El Collie was a hollow shell, a clever pretense that Consciousness used to deliberately disguise itself. I knew why the disguise was necessary, while at the same time, I knew there was nothing which could be hidden and no one to hide from. I had the acute sense that I was a transparent vessel through which God plaintively sought relief from being God. I found myself filled with tender envy for those who believed in a God who was "other" -- a deity they could adore from a distance, sweetly enfolded in a relationship of child to Father or lover to Beloved. The God that had exposed IT-Self to me could neither be approached nor escaped from.

Trying to come to terms with my lasting sense that nothing was real, I went on a rampage of reading all the religious and occult literature of every sect and creed I could find in hopes that I might come across some piece of wisdom that would rescue me from the immensity of what I knew. I found what I had experienced being described over and over again, couched in myriad symbols and semantics.

The God I experienced had not set up the universe as a labyrinthine game of solitaire, the sole purpose of which was to find the way back to the starting point and win. The game, if one would call it that, is infinite, and both poles are necessary: self as individual and Self as Cosmic Source; world as Self-creation and world as everlasting mystery; yin and yang in eternal embrace. "One has to live in the two extremes; like the snake, up and down, right and left," wrote Jung. "One cannot take the road of life without taking both sides of it because one side alone would lead to a standstill; if one wants to live one must endure the opposites because the way is two-fold." (from The Visions Seminar)

I had no idea at the time of my realization that so many others throughout history had experienced this same awakening. Even if I had known, the last thing I wanted or needed to do after my enlightenment was to proclaim myself any kind of advanced soul. This would have been in contradiction to the realization itself, since it had been made wholly clear to me that at the ultimate level, there was no one in existence but the One, and that even God-asleep-to-God in so many "dream" forms of multiplicity was by divine design. There was no one else for me to attempt to awaken. "On seeing through the illusion of the ego, it is impossible to think of oneself as better than, or superior to, others for having done so," Alan Watts aptly put it. "In every direction there is just the one Self playing its myriad games of hide-and-seek." (from The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are)

Years after I had this experience I came across a Hassidic Jewish teaching that God needs man as much as man needs God, and this is definitely true. God needs creation as much as creation needs God, just as all of us need each other. We were created to be a loving universal family and to be beloved children of God forever. Yet the paradox is that although we have been "created" as eternal souls, we have never left the mind of God and in that sense we don't really exist, we're just God-thoughts. In some of the Eastern religions, they don't speak of God (or Goddess), but of "Self" because there is a level where there isn't anything to be drawn into the Light, there is just One mind dreaming the universe.

"The spiritual world is one single spirit who stands like unto a light behind the bodily world and who, when any single creature comes into being, shines through it as through a window," said Aziz Nasafi. "According to the kind and size of the window, less or more light enters the world." This single "spirit" is the Self/Source addressed by the Katha Upanishad: "Smaller than the smallest, greater than the greatest, this Self forever dwells within the hearts of all." The same spirit/Self/God is, as Joan Borysenko writes (in The Fire in the Soul), "present in all things, all experiences."

http://web.archive.org/web/20130606091318/http://www.elcollie.com/st/god.html

Edited September 26, 2020 by Bulgarianspirit

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Adamq8 said:

Existential terror

Don't confuse your reaction to Infinity with the experience of Infinity itself.

Terror is not inherent to Infinity, that is your ego's reaction.

[Adamq8]

@Bulgarianspirit it is so utterly absurd that this is actually true i can't fucking believe it! It is so weird but at the same time creation is really beautiful and we will always keep on creating and getting lost into it forever cause time and all stuff do not exist. Thanks for your sharing on everything. 

It is absurd. Cant even begin to understand it

[Adamq8]

17 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Don't confuse your reaction to Infinity with the experience of Infinity itself.

Terror is not inherent to Infinity, that is your ego's reaction.

Then what should i do Leo? Keep tripping and exploring consciousness? Yeah ego was terrified.. i sensed that i can create everything that i want but it felt like i broke the game when i understod that its all me