Mushroom Trip - Possible Energetic Damage

[actuallyenlightened]

2 hours ago, rav said:

You're talking about "neutral".

Which of these statements is neutral?

1.) The crow says to the owl: "My life seems to be pointless."

2.) The crow says to the owl: "My life is just what it is."

Imo both are neutral. Having a point is a value statement that doesn't actually exist. Point 2, life being just what it is - it is definitely neutral in that you don't attach any meaning to it; but I think it's incorrect in the absolute sense since life doesn't actually exist, it is just a hallucination of a 'life' experience. 

2 hours ago, rav said:

Define for yourself: What is the ability to love life for what it is?

Do you have to be judging in order to love life for what it is?

Do you have to be indifferent in order to love life for what it is?

Do you have to just love life for what it is?

Do you have to just live?

Do you "have to" do/feel anything at all?

Do you just live?

This is where it gets tough. How do I love life when I know the physical doesn't exist? Is it simply finding beauty in my (me with a capital M) own creation?

I want to let go of judgement but if I do, I can't find a reason to strive to improve myself or anything relating to the human condition. I find it hard to love something if I don't feel a burning passion to improve/protect it. It feels like being indifferent, you wouldn't care if it were one way or other and you won't feel anything as a result - apathy. And yes, you need to feel the feeling of 'love.' (of course you don't in the absolute sense because the absolute YOU already feels the highest love but I want to get closer to the absolute self).

2 hours ago, rav said:

Could achievement be a judgement?

Yes, but one of my main goals in this business is to reach a state of peace and acceptance. I don't want to be a miserable enlightened person lol.

2 hours ago, rav said:

If elevated consciousness is supposed to just show you reality, then why would there be any "feelings" be attached to it?

If insights are supposed to show you the nature of the human condition, would they be drenched in fragments of the human condition?

You say "you believe ... this or that".

How do you know?

As Leo said some give 'higher states of clarity.' I interpret this as being at a higher vibrational state - as in seeing the information from a place love or courage vs approaching it from a place of fear. In these higher states, you are calm and can take your time really observing things. 

[actuallyenlightened]

2 hours ago, electroBeam said:

This is just my 2cents. Don't take it too seriously if it doesn't help you.

I'll just be blunt because can't figure out a way to say it softly. 

chakras don't absolutely exist.

enzymes don't absolutely exist.

your skin turning pale doesn't absolutely exist.

Yes of course, but physical life itself doesn't exist. Yet I want to play by the rules of physical life so I can continue participating in this hallucination.

2 hours ago, electroBeam said:

What's going on here, maybe, is the ego is about to die and you're about to wake up, and your ego is grasping at the straws to try and keep the illusory 3D matrix going. Its using all sorts of stories about you getting damaged and the likes, just to hold on.

And you're falling for them, in a huge way. And THATS the problem. Not the damage, but you believing your ego about the stories of damage.

Thanks for introducing such possibility. If my ego simply tricked me, then my psyche wouldn't need much time to heal.

2 hours ago, electroBeam said:

Did you actually go to the hospital? Or are you writing that here for dramatic effect?

Yeah I felt bad for my mom and texted her that I have no regrets - she called the cops who came with an ambulance (shout out to the cops who were kind and talked me through the ordeal - they're getting a lot of hate nowadays and it's unfortunate that the good cops also have to go through it)

2 hours ago, electroBeam said:

Yep. You need to stop putting thought over feeling. You need to feel deep into your body, drop EVERY single thought that arises, including ones like "did I just serotonin overdose and die" "did this psychedelic just damage my chakras" "did I just destroy my brain by taking mushrooms" "omg taking these mushrooms were a mistake" "what are my family gonna think of me" "how am I gonna hide what I do" "how will i survive in life if I'm damaged".

It was indeed an initial perception of pain - and especially on mushrooms I can perceive my chakras as a 6th sense. The thought came later - and a lot of them seemed to be out of my control. Thoughts like 'how is it going to be after I leave my body', 'my life purpose is complete and it's time to move on.' I also felt my body beginning to fade. It was a very powerful experience that you wouldn't understand unless you went through it. It felt like a rapid downward spiral that my thoughts themselves wouldn't be powerful enough to cause even if I wanted it.

3 hours ago, electroBeam said:

Read Nahm's reply here. Because I think its very relevant to you. 

That is so profound.. I'd need to read over it carefully tomorrow when I have more energy. I could tell you're going through a lot and hope you're feeling better

2 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

Take a break, and lower the dosages down. Next time, trip safer, and progress in your journey at a comfortable pace.

 

Yeah will do. I was alone at my place which is good. Just gotta lower the dosage 

48 minutes ago, Natasha said:

I had my first shroom trip on 2.5 grams a couple weeks ago. Beautiful experience, awesome senses enhancement (visual, hearing, touch, smell, rhythm), no side-affects afterwards, completely effortless and engaging. Did it with a trusted guidance and without a set intention, just to try out psychedelics for the first time 

Yeah it's great by all means. I usually take around 3g and have amazing life-changing experiences. The problem (for most people) is doing 5+ grams

[electroBeam]

10 minutes ago, actuallyenlightened said:

Yet I want to play by the rules of physical life

If free will exists on the egoic level.

11 minutes ago, actuallyenlightened said:

I could tell you're going through a lot and hope you're feeling better

If I'm an ego. If you're not an ego, what are you going through?

[Bulgarianspirit]

You just had a bad trip i have had it as well, i thought i was dead, in a coma or worse. I have also had depersonalization and other issues. Stopping psychs fixes it at least makes it bearable to live

[Guest EmptyVase]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

At high doses of mushrooms you will hallucinate like a motherfucker and get lost down infinite rabbit holes in of your mind. A descent into madness.

Kilindi Iyis reports from those dimensions seem to second that. Incredibly fascinating findings, more so if you experience them for yourselfs LOL. 

I see how they can lose their potential at some point. Still an incredible tool for exploration of reality, perhaps for the more twisted aspects of it.

 

[AcaciaConfusa]

i disagree too. Mushrooms got me much more insights than LSD ever did. Preparation for high doses are very important. Food plays an important role. Make yourself empty for god. I create a calorie deficit on the days before and on the tripping day i basically eat nothing, maybe a small meal after 10hours of tripping. I also go for a run, i do yoga and i meditate before taking the mushrooms. While tripping i use a blindfold and even when i have to go to the toilette i keep it on. Never had any bad experience doing it this way.

[Rosenqvist]

On 23.9.2020 at 3:17 AM, Leo Gura said:

But mushrooms are especially twisted. At high doses of mushrooms you will hallucinate like a motherfucker and get lost down infinite rabbit holes of your mind.

That's absolutely true. Personally it took many years for me to handle and go through all the information that the trip gave to me. 

But have you heard/tried micro dosage/micro dosing? It's when you take minimal dose (0,1-0,2 g), so that it doesn't give you any notable effect and you take it once every three days and continue the treatment for a month.

Lately I've been reading and studying about it and it really seems like a promising and interesting way to raise ones consciousness. I think it has huge potential. @Leo Gura

Edited September 24, 2020 by Rosenqvist

[rav]

On 9/23/2020 at 3:23 AM, actuallyenlightened said:

It feels like being indifferent, you wouldn't care if it were one way or other and you won't feel anything as a result - apathy.

Oh man, I can't do this anymore. All this talking and talking.

I try to convey ideas through language and it doesn't work because it is language.

I can't express Neo's ideas within the matrix.

Words cannot carry meaning outside of language - and it's just so exhausting after all.

All this talking but I still can't picture to others what I mean.

I give up. I am outside of language. We're all outside of language after all but we don't care.

We just keep on blabbering and blabbering.

So keep on blabbering. I'm off.

Cya.