I Think I'm A Soul

[Grue]

Hi everyone! This'll be my first post. 

 

Um, I'm reluctant to even bring this up but I don't know where to go for answers. 

I watched one of Leo's videos in which he discussed psychedelics and how marijuana isn't considered in that class. Well, kind of - for me at least.

I had a wonderful experience where I was lying there stoned and going through my problems and finding wise-minded solutions and answers to them. I then got a little deeper into relaxation and a voice came through. Not like a schizophrenic voice but *my* voice, the voice of my higher self. I pleaded with myself to believe that I love myself and that I am a good person. 

I then put the symptoms of being high and/stoned (there's a difference) together like; how I feel like I'm looking through a window as if I was a pilot of this meat machine that I have to take care of to keep it operating and comfortable and the emotional inventory that I sometimes do - the sorting stuff out and finding wise-mind solutions. I feel like I'm a soul or that my higher mind is my soul.

I would really like to know what happened to me and if it'll happen again.

(a lot of that may seem strange or confusing. I think it's my wording or where I put the words. I just have a hard time expressing myself in text like this)

[Eelco1981]

@Grue Welcome to the forum. I can't give you a good answer, but here is your first Reputation! Of course you are a soul which in this context is synonimous for awareness, consciousness, God, etc) At the same time, all these words are just labels and just pointers to what you really are. You CANNOT think about what you are. You can only be it. The label you give it... Soul, is just a label.. Ooops, I see now that I DID give an answer...

[cetus]

@Grue How's it going Grue? It sounds to me as if you were temporally separated from your usual talking mind (ego self) and were able to take an outside look at where you stand. Anytime you quiet your thoughts you will see from a slightly different perspective. That could be considered a higher self awareness. Have you tried meditation too? If not, give it a try for a week or two and see what happens.

[Matthew Lamot]

2 hours ago, Grue said:

Hi everyone! This'll be my first post. 

 

Um, I'm reluctant to even bring this up but I don't know where to go for answers. 

I watched one of Leo's videos in which he discussed psychedelics and how marijuana isn't considered in that class. Well, kind of - for me at least.

I had a wonderful experience where I was lying there stoned and going through my problems and finding wise-minded solutions and answers to them. I then got a little deeper into relaxation and a voice came through. Not like a schizophrenic voice but *my* voice, the voice of my higher self. I pleaded with myself to believe that I love myself and that I am a good person. 

I then put the symptoms of being high and/stoned (there's a difference) together like; how I feel like I'm looking through a window as if I was a pilot of this meat machine that I have to take care of to keep it operating and comfortable and the emotional inventory that I sometimes do - the sorting stuff out and finding wise-mind solutions. I feel like I'm a soul or that my higher mind is my soul.

I would really like to know what happened to me and if it'll happen again.

(a lot of that may seem strange or confusing. I think it's my wording or where I put the words. I just have a hard time expressing myself in text like this)

What actually happened is that you stopped extroverting for a moment, and became peaceful.

Your actual true nature is peace and happiness.  But because we have hard wired conditioned ignorance which tells us that we are not limitless, unconcerened, timeless, boundless, non-dual awareness, we get caught in this trap called "life" and seeking, chasing objects such as relationships, moeny, recognition, power, attention, love, knowledge, status, and even so-called "higher" states or knowledge like inner peace, enlightenment and all that shit!

The fact is, there is no "higher".  Higher is just another way the deficient mind clings onto salvation theories like spirituality and enlightenment.  The fact is, that reality is non-dual, and if reality is non-dual then every day, mundane, normal experience is reality.

So if normal reality is so special, then why do we all feel so bad and start seeking for things in life as soon as were able to think?

The reason for this is ignorance.  Hard wired, conditioned ignorance (collective) that tells our brains that were not enough, and so we look for things in life in order to ease our dissatisfaction caused by this continual desiring.

When we get something, the desire stops, and we feel better.  Then the object seems to appear to be the source of our happiness.  Do this enough times during life and this idea becomes conditioned.  Conditioned ignorance.

Meditation wont undo this ignorance unfortunately, because meditation is just another subtle way of seeking, seeking "states" because we still cant shake the belief that we are already whole.

The only way to undo this is a practice called Self-Inquiry.  And this also involves education on what is going on in the mind.  Without that education we get pulled into the illusion of seeking time and time again, and because we dont know what the fuck is going on we keep seeking, seeking states, seeking experiences, seeking no-mind, seeking fucking enlightenment.

Check out the non-dual teachings of Vedanta, and get into Self Inquiry as this is the only way to see through the bullshit of illusion and end seeking for ever.

 

[Grue]

Thank you for your replies. 

I like the term, "higher self" and will probably continue to use it. I've done a lot of really positive stuff since I've become a regular marijuana consumer; I've lost about 30 lbs., I quit smoking, soda, ice cream. I'll get half a slice of pizza when we're out and my 9 y.o. daughter gets the other half. I'm taking care of my body to make up for decades of neglect. I don't think I would have made those lifestyle choices were it not for cannabis. 

Oh, I quit TV too.

I really want to get in touch with my higher self again. I'm contemplating shrooms or yage. 

[Leo Gura]

@Grue And then the time comes to kick the weed, cause you don't need it.

If you want to explore consciousness, there are much better and less addictive substances than weed.

The problem with weed is that it becomes a lifestyle for many people.

[Grue]

Maybe. But it's helped me in a lot of ways. For example; I don't get migraines anymore. 

I feel like we have cannabinoid receptors for a reason. I think we should all be taking THC and other cannabinoids as a daily supplement.

I've argued before that weed is good, I should be on it as a medication other than every other anti-depressant and ADHD medication they could have me on. I need to be on an even keel. Weed does that for me. 

I don't feel as though I'm addicted. Just feel as though I am a better person on it than without it. It helps. It really does. Me at least.