Is there a Solution for Incels?

[Jacob Morres]

49 minutes ago, Consilience said:

If you can become fearless and confident with cold approaches, you’ve suddenly shifted into the top percentile of men.

Beast quote dude. Pretty inspiring 

[Danioover9000]

   Meanwhile, we got to work out that fear, sooner or later. The slowest wins the race and all that.

[Globalcollective]

9 hours ago, Consilience said:

Reading all of these excuses on a personal development forum makes me realize just how powerfully a man positions himself by cold approaching... and how rare it really is. If you can become fearless and confident with cold approaches, you’ve suddenly shifted into the top percentile of men.

Crazy isn't it how people now just want to complain about this stuff even on personal development forums. 

[creator20]

23 hours ago, Parththakkar12 said:

A few more insights about incels are striking me.

The issue of incels isn't that they aren't getting laid, or that they're single, or that they're lonely. The issue of incels is this - Women invalidate the pain of the guy they're rejecting. Women reject guys with the expectation that 'He's a guy, so he shouldn't feel any pain of rejection. All men want sex only anyways, so who gives a fuck.'

When guys meet with this invalidation of pain, this is where shit gets really scary. Here's the elephant in the room - there's all sorts of gaslighting going on along the lines of 'If you emotionally feel the pain of rejection, you're weak!!! You're not a real man!!!'. This is emotionally unhealthy collective behavior, where they basically get singled out. This is why they call women 'femoids' or 'robots without empathy'.

Gaslighting can make you feel crazy or insane, like there's something wrong with what you're seeing. This is what really causes mass shootings, where they lash out at the public. Mass shooters are subconsciously escalating a situation where they're getting invalidated. This is why they're glorifying rape, glorifying mass shooters, etc.

OP, you were asking for a solution to incels, right? Here's my solution - when you reject a guy next time, have empathy for his pain of getting rejected. You don't have to behave differently towards them than you already do, just have some more compassion or empathy.

This is the opposite of what feminists will say should be the response. Feminists want to further ostracize them, which will only increase the mass shootings and sexual assaults by them. This way, feminists are creating the very evil they're resisting.

I've been in a pretty solid relationship since I was 15 (19 now) so I haven't had much of a chance to reject men. However, I do have compassion and empathy for someone who has the confidence to put themselves out there in a well mannered fashion who ends up getting rejected. I'm well aware women can have a very cruel demeanor toward men. However, in many cases, I'm also aware that this is likely due to a myriad of bad/traumatizing experiences that they have had with men in past scenarios. A lot of women have become very cynical toward men approaching them because oftentimes when men approach women they do not make much of an effort to disguise their true intentions. Women can easily detect ulterior motives, a lot of them take offense to a man approaching them in ways they deem to be awkward, bothersome, or inappropriate, thus, they have very little sympathy.

I also have empathy for incels. However, I can also empathize with people's ostracization of them. I think a lot of 'feminists' (& not even feminists just society in general) feels the need to ostracize incels because of the press they get. Whenever someone hears or sees something said or written by an incel it's more likely than not going to be some extremely radical post about how 'foids' should be allowed to be raped or killed or something along those lines. It's not easy for the average individual, especially a woman, to empathize with a group that degrades their very existence. The moderate incels get washed away by the extremists. 

[Leo Gura]

Incels are self-ostracized.

[John Mitchell]

@Parththakkar12 This is exactly how I feel, I feel like shit for never being in a relationship but I feel like I am not allowed to and its something I have to hide in society, especially around girls. 

Check this video out

 

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, John Mitchell said:

@Parththakkar12 This is exactly how I feel, I feel like shit for never being in a relationship but I feel like I am not allowed to and its something I have to hide in society, especially around girls. 

Check this video out

 

Women lack empathy for men?

LOL

This is the biggest load of projected bullshit I've ever heard.

It is men who lack empathy for women. As if Incels have an ounce of empathy or concern for a woman's agenda.

The entire Incel ideology is utterly self-absorbed to the point of blindness. It is not a woman's responsibility to worry about your sexual needs. It's like Incel guys expect women to be handing out their pussies like quarters to curb-side panhandlers. Stop expecting pussy charity just cause you feel lonely.

[StarStruck]

Recently got a real gf as an incel and all I can say. Just take the leadership and be like water trying to find its way to her pants. 

All you need is one girl to show you the way and you will look back and see how much you fucked up. 

I always thought finding a girl was 50% effort from my side and 50% from her side. It is true to some extend but you need to set the frames and move the relationship forward. 

Having said that. If I wanted to get some other girls I still would need to put in the work. I just have a better perspective and know how to use my energy and time more effective. 

I'm trying to get into social proof game. As somebody said on this forum. It is the natural way of getting a gf. Unfortunately I'm not good at my making friends and creating a social circle. I made a topic about that and I'm working on it. 

[Zigzag Idiot]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Incels are self-ostracized.

So true. I lived it all through my twenties with insecurities and being socially awkward with attempts to cover it over with cynicical attitudes. It's a cold place and it seems very dark and unfair.

I would recommend to those in that inner condition- cultivating some form of gratitude, radical authenticity, spontaneity and light heartedness instead of doing calculated cold approaches. Especially if you're not a natural bullshiter.

 

[Ananta]

16 hours ago, StarStruck said:

be like water trying to find its way to her pants. 

Lol!

If thats your mindset, then as soon as someone else provides more then that... she's gone.

 

[Leo Gura]

Water: note to self: be like a thirsty human male trying to get into a girl's pants.

[Ananta]

Thirsty male: excessively desperate, which is not an attractive quality. See above ^

[StarStruck]

6 hours ago, Ananta said:

Lol!

If thats your mindset, then as soon as someone else provides more then that... she's gone.

 

For an incel it is a good start. I know how it sounds. If I speak for myself: it is hard as fuck to build meaningful relations when I'm needy as fuck. 

4 hours ago, Ananta said:

Thirsty male: excessively desperate, which is not an attractive quality. See above ^

Thirst is not really chosen. You can't tell a guy who is thirsty for 10+ years to stop being it. When he finally gets some water he will go ape shit. That is just what happens.

For me as an incel I know the answer is inside. Probably my toxic mother is the reason for my skewed view on dating. I feel like I don't have an option. I can only authentically express my thirst so I can observe myself and make a change.

Currently have a FWB which is developing into something more. If I didn't act on my thirst, I wouldn't even get out of my incel bubble. That is what I think but I could be wrong.

Edited September 25, 2020 by StarStruck

[Enlightenment]

My sex drive peaked at about 16, I have significantly less sex drive now at 25 and therefore care about being an incel less and less as I age. I guess with age it becomes more like wanting somebody to share interests with and less about wanting to fuck

[Danioover9000]

@John Mitchell  While it's true that Incels, some of them, have this distorted view, most of them aren't that. They get that way from mostly inexperience around women, lack of socializing, lack of dating skills, limiting beliefs and social manipulation. With these, it's more easier to correct these problems.

   It's the few Incels that experienced trauma, social humiliations, and hurt stemming from a girl(s), on top of all that above. It doesn't take much to get them defensive about doing self help, name calling them into a corner. It's a mistake to treat all Incels like the few extreme cases, and find other ways of offering treatment to the extreme ones. It's one thing to offer help and back off if refused, but another to be judgmental about it.