Can't feel my "wings" anymore

[Radament]

Hi guys/girls, this is my first post ever here but I had to ask somewhere for advice coz I am going slightly crazy.

It all started when I was a boy with a needle like uncomfortable pain in my spine (I actually thought I was neurologically sick when it first started). As years and time passed this feeling grew to something I could actively control and was no more uncomfortable in slightest makin it pass trough my body like a surge.....even to a point i could actually fell as if I had wings attached to my back. Egyptian/Oriental music was allways something that acted as some sort of booster or activator. This feeling as it passed left me feeling rejuvenated, revitalized, regenerated.....it stoped my Anxiety problems (which I have years long) in matter of litteral seconds...better than any Valium or Xanax, Alchocol or similar.

For 2 years I was exposed to an enormous amount of Stres. At this moment I am gone from this work and that location. But during those years my "powers hehehe" waned and waned to the point where now I cant manifest the surge anymore stronge enough to feel those "wings....or whatever they are"... i can come to a point where I feel the energy but never fully to "wings" phase anymore.

 

Does anyone have any ideas.....

And also does anyone has any ideas...what exactly I am or what am I actually able to do...what is this energy surge....coz I also never got a straight answer to that question.

Edited September 20, 2020 by Radament

[AtheisticNonduality]

Research Kundalini Yoga.

[Radament]

Kundalini Meditation...not Yoga is actually something I practiced for a short amount of time. It was said to me that it is amazingly risky and even dangerous to practice it without a guide so I kinda stopped. It never accured to me that some parts of it rly maybe actually worked in so short time.

[Danioover9000]

@Radament

13 minutes ago, Radament said:

Hi guys/girls, this is my first post ever here but I had to ask somewhere for advice coz I am going slightly crazy.

It all started when I was a boy with a needle like uncomfortable pain in my spine (I actually thought I was neurologically sick when it first started). As years and time passed this feeling grew to something I could actively control and was no more uncomfortable in slightest makin it pass trough my body like a surge.....even to a point i could actually fell as if I had wings attached to my back. Egyptian/Oriental music was allways something that acted as some sort of booster or activator. This feeling as it passed left me feeling rejuvenated, revitalized, regenerated.....it stoped my Anxiety problems (which I have years long) in matter of litteral seconds...better than any Valium or Xanax, Alchocol or similar.

For 2 years I was exposed to an enormous amount of Stres. At this moment I am gone from this work and that location. But during those years my "powers hehehe" waned and waned to the point where now I cant manifest the surge anymore stronge enough to feel those "wings....or whatever they are"... i can come to a point where I feel the energy but never fully to "wings" phase anymore.

 

Does anyone have any ideas.....

And also does anyone has any ideas...what exactly I am or what am I actually able to do...what is this energy surge....coz I also never got a straight answer to that question.

   This sounds interesting. I haven't heard of anyone having spiritual symptoms like this. In your case, you might have to just keep meditating. You might also find useful resources at yelp.com, and do stretches and massages on your back were you 'wings' energy is bio-located at. You might try doing workouts on that body location, like reverse push ups or pull ups to get some more blood and energy going at that part. More general advice is have a check up on your physical body, mental body and spiritual body. Each body has already fields of study out there. Maybe check up on tai chi and chi gong, at energyarts.com, the old man has great exercises to flow energy, also chi massaging, and Mantak Chia's work like microcosmic meditation. Yoga is also an option, but don't focus only on Kriya yoga, explore the other 7 branches. Good luck! 

Edited September 20, 2020 by Danioover9000

[Radament]

Ty for your generous insight. If Anyone has anything more I would be grateful. Right now it feels as if I lost part of myself....and its not pleasing in the slightest. For me as it seems my Kundalini (if that rly is Kundalini and not something else) awakened spontaneous at least partially when I was just a boy and I "nurtured" it from childhood. Now that I lost it or is somehow blocked....I am really no expert on how to get it back.

Edited September 21, 2020 by Radament

[Martin123]

@Radament Hi Radament.

What you're experiencing is simply a transition where you're moving from relying on an energetic or psychic phenomenon to be more of yourself, to being more of yourself without the 'crutch' of feeling your wings.

While raising your angelic wings and moving them around is always a powerful practice, it is always to compliment the journey of evolution of becoming more of your infinite and expansive self in a human body. This means that instead of focusing on the 'lack of wings' you feel, merely bring to your awareness that your focus is always on becoming more of yourself, being more open and more relaxed and safe in your body than the moment before.

Once you have aligned to this new intention, you can still try to move your wings around as a way of complimenting your journey of being yourself.

You can anchor this newfound awareness by meeting any moment of an 'energetic low' or stress by saying to yourself

'I allow myself to be who I was born to be, without needing anything to be different.'

This mantra stops the need to be reliant on seemingly external things for the permission of personal and emotional self-expression.

Just be you, and all will come into place. Don't wait for the world or your spiritual experiences to give you this permission.