Feeling too overwhelmed with thinking about a woman

[Abhishaik]

@Proserpina how do you do this sublime gaze? 

[Proserpina]

It's very similar to what preety India described in her journal.  Constant releasing and absorbing. It's very painful.  

[Username]

As I mentioned before I have been in similar situation. What works for me is looking at her but as a person but rather as a pointer to something. Luckily I'm in contact with her so I was able to learn things about her and FEEL her presence.

Because I knew how it feels to talk to her I was able replicate that feeling. This way I was able to switch from thinking to feeling. I am less obsessive now I rather have that constant warm, fluffy feeling of love. My thoughts about her have less and less content.

[NatureB]

TL;DR

[shallotsometimes]

On 10/8/2020 at 3:10 AM, mandyjw said:

I have had obsessive thoughts like that about people, especially when I was younger. The common thread that I discovered is that there is something in them that I really want to embody myself. The materialistic world view makes us immediately assume we want a relationship with them, but that's not usually the case at all. Open your mind. Release the attachment by truly owning it, and seeing what these thoughts and feelings are pointing you towards discovering in yourself. It also helps to pay attention to your dreams because your dreams, and the things and people you're drawn to in real life work in the same way to point you towards what you really want. 

This! Attraction is being drawn to the traits the other person has that you believe you lack in yourself. Once you realize this it really helps calm the attraction and you don't see them quite as this magical unicorn of a person. You expressed that you're envious of her so that's a BIG hint towards what you actually want. Work on developing/bringing those traits closer.

On 10/8/2020 at 2:29 AM, Leo Gura said:

Design your life so that it is so full of meaning that losing a girl does not take anything away. Whether the girl is there or not, your life should be awesome either way.

Agree. 

[Applegarden]

@shallotsometimes Sometimes envy comes yes, but i wanted to throw some light upon the subtlety of it, you know. But as i am reflecting, it seems like vanishing. Quitting social media also helps.

@Origins Yeah, i would like to live by the 3rd scenario, everything unecessary just falls off.

@Username I feel you buddy.

On 2020.10.8. at 0:29 PM, Leo Gura said:

Design your life so that it is so full of meaning that losing a girl does not take anything away. Whether the girl is there or not, your life should be awesome either way.

Thanks Leo, I am acting to designing as we speak as i am on 37/90 topics of life purpose course and it is a breath of fresh air, i acctually had to stop because i am developing action plans on nutrition and the whole music thing i want to do and how its going to fit with spirituality. And your last video made me stop everything for a sec and just sit there. Yes, I would benefit from meeting girls and i acctually feel pretty confident and that is due to the self-reflection i am doing, however i am sure there is abyss of leakage of termoil in me when approaching, and I have in fact never approached anybody, however the 95% of my anxiety around people has just vanished. In short, thanks man, for everything. And btw i still think Actualized.org can become a billion dollar industry, but after you do the AMA for 1 mil subs.

@evgn I feel very similar, its like a pattern.

@mandyjw Thank you very much! I feel that in time it will vanish.

@Gesundheit There is a good saying, everything happens for the sake of our auspiciousness. So the problem is the solution for the inauspiciousness.

I didn't really think i will come back to comment, as I wanted to distance myself from posting in here, but i wanted to thank you for your integrity and intention to help.