Please Help Me

[Bill Hunter]

Greetings to everyone. On my first time as an actualized member, I made a complain about how guilty and ashamed I feel for having sex with prostitutes when I was 17, and I got very good helps and I thank those who helped me for that.

 But there is this feeling that is weighing me down. I do not know what to do supposed I am able to create a meaningful relationship. My problem is do I have to tell my potential partner what I did? and if so,  what is the right way to tell her?

I humbly ask for help.

[Sleyker]

I don't see any reason why you would tell her what you did unless you guys have already built a very deep connection and are comfortable sharing such issues about your lives.

It's not like 1 week in of knowing her you have to go: "Alright before we start off this relationship, you have to know that I banged some prostitutes". That's part of the past, why would she care? Now you're better, you've grown!

And it's not like you killed someone or did something terrible... you paid for sex, so what? No big deal bro, don't be too hard on yourself.

But if what you did is still bugging you, then you might wanna heal that first. Find out how to do self-therapy or healing on yourself.

[Preety_India]

You can control your anxiety and then tell her that. It's necessary to tell her it's part of being honest. And she deserves to know. 

Women can vary in their tastes for men. Some women are okay with a man who has been to prostitutes. 

Personally, I would never date a man who has slept with prostitutes before. It would make me feel very uncomfortable. 

So if a man is not telling me that detail, that would make me very upset and nervous. 

When I date men, I have always asked them if they have been to some prostitute before, just to make sure if that part is ticked off. 

Some men hide it and it's bad.

It would impact my mental health severely if I realize that the man I was sleeping with has been to prostitutes. 

To me sex is a part of love and romance, not a transaction. 

I would look at such a man the same way a man looks at a golddigger. 

I know my opinion might not be popular but I'm just being honest about how I feel. 

So you need to assess the mentality of the woman who you are dating and then have a serious calm discussion about it. If she is okay then fine. If she is not okay then don't blame her, because some women feel a biological repulsion to the word "prostitute." 

Because prostitutes give their body for money, to me it appears as a subjugation of womanhood or derogation or insult of a woman's sexuality by turning it into a transaction. 

 

 

You could talk to her openly about it. 

 

Edited September 20, 2020 by Preety_India

[Rolo]

depends on your partner, are they supportive enough to share these things with? likelihood is that they have the same level of development as you do. 

[universe]

Sure, you can tell her and it will be no big deal. As long as you don't make a big deal out of it. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Accept it as a part of your life that made you the way you are today.

If you want to find love you must first love yourself.

❤️

[Bill Hunter]

Thank you all for your support. I think I have to tell the truth when I am asked for it (which is hard because I fear confrontation), but I will honour your advices.

I appreciate.

[Recursoinominado]

What is exactly the problem with having sex with prostitutes? Can you elaborate? 

[Bill Hunter]

@Recursoinominado I do not know exactly, but I think I never imagined myself that way and it takes me by surprise. But I do want to be in a relationship where my partner and I share mutual intimate feelings.

The second and last prostitute I slept with told me to be careful with my life, and let that be my last time. And maybe it is as a result of that warning, that I feel there is a problem with what I did, regardless of my upbringing.

[bejapuskas]

If you are worried that you cannot find a girlfriend with a past like this then you really shouldn't worry