How to deal with being nagged?

[Consept]

8 hours ago, Keyhole said:

@Consept My mother is the same way and I am, too.

It is caused by a lack of internal control and a desire for the other partner to take over certain aspects whatever those may be.  Many times women who are bitchy and perfectionistic have lost their femininity.  This is a state that requires complete trust.  It is a flowy state that has no grounding.  Most women are not good at grounding themselves if their femininity is damaged by abuse.

Look into how to make her feel more feminine.  You don't have to change yourself, that isn't the root cause and it will never work, because then she will see you are malleable by her requests, and this will make her feel like she has to be in charge. 

All the other behaviour is a side effect.  Stay being you.

Thanks, that is a great insight and very self aware. Its funny because when we have truthful conversations, maybe after an argument or something, she says that she likes how i am and doesnt want me to change but at the same time it annoys her in the moment. So it seems like it is an automatic response and i think youre right in that she isnt always in her feminine, i would put this down to family issues. 

How did you and possibly your mum, become aware and get passed these issues, if you dont mind me asking?

[karl47]

I believe that you should listen to your girlfriend and take her opinion seriously and pay less attention to her nagging
 

[Consept]

On 21/09/2020 at 7:33 PM, Keyhole said:

Ask her what makes her feel like a woman, and maybe you guys can explore that together and it will help bring out your own energy.

How would i listen and not pay attention to her nagging at the same time?

34 minutes ago, karl47 said:

I believe that you should listen to your girlfriend and take her opinion seriously and pay less attention to her nagging
 

Will try this, thanks again for your insight x

[Jacob Morres]

On 9/17/2020 at 3:35 AM, Consept said:

one time I had a hole in my sock

HOW DARE YOU HAVE A HOLE IN UR SOCK

 

thank you for posting this btw, my mother is like this a lot, it is extremely irritating. 

for me it is too od... she tries to push me into things even when i dont feel ready. she tries to make me do things i dont want to do or give me suggestions to improve my life in ways i dont want to. constant nagging. ugh... 

but it's nice to hear someone else going through it  

interesting too though. my mom also picked up meditation too after i told her about it LOL 

but idk. makes me want to move out. i want to see some different angles about this first though, maybe there's a more conscious approach 

not sur

Edited October 1, 2020 by Jacob Morres

[Parththakkar12]

@Consept To me, nagging feels like pressure on my head. A woman will nag when you're not taking responsibility for something she thinks you should take responsibility for.

The way for you to resolve this would be to figure out what it is that she's wanting you to take responsibility for or step up to. I guarantee you, it's going to be something deeper than just a hole in a sock. The hole in the sock represents some insecurity she has. You want to ask her about this and you want to figure out what it is that she's wanting you to step up to.

Then, you make the decision whether you're willing to step up to it or not. If you want to step up to it, your relationship is working. If not, then you're incompatible.

I personally would never put up with nagging. This is how I'd resolve the underlying issue, then I'd tell her to never nag me again.

[Byun Sean]

Next time she nags you, say something like: 

"Hey, I understand how your feeling right now, but when you talk to me that way it makes me feel very hurt."

 

You can also sit down with her and be vulnerable with your feelings in a serious conversation. Don't put the blame on her. All you do is tell her about how you feel when your talked to in that way and offer her an alternative better way to get what she wants that will encourage you and uplift you to use instead.

Edited October 2, 2020 by Byun Sean