The phrase "Men are objectively superior to women"

[Fran11]

4 hours ago, Forestluv said:

Perhaps that has to do higher testosterone levels, genetics and social conditioning. Women tend to be more empathetic and compassionate, on average - similar to how men are physically more aggressive and intellectual on average.

This is it. 

I'm a man and I consider myself to be naturally more femenine than masculine energetically speaking, and still I often find myself displaying agressive traits. 

There's definetly something about the male biology that biases us towards agresiveness. 

It can be greately reduced and maybe even trascended with developement, of course.

 

[Danioover9000]

@creator20

19 hours ago, creator20 said:

(So first off just to address the direction this forum has gone in; The forum has went into the direction of "Men are on average physically stronger than women" and I'm not trying to debate obvious biological occurrences that men on average tend to be physically stronger and larger in size than women (Although of course there are edge cases where this is not always true). I'm also not denying that in some facets of life men tend to be more adept to do certain things than women are & vice versa. I acknowledge both sexes have inherent strengths & weaknesses.) People trying to give fact based arguments about how men are more superior at X, Y, Z as opposed to women doesn't interest me. What I wanted to get to the bottom of in this post is why men (Not all men, but at least the one's I've experienced) feel the need to assert some sort of dominance over women on a consistent basis. I'm aware this might just be an occurrence that I'm dealing with personally that isn't that common among other people, but nonetheless I have experienced this & I know many of my other female friends have experienced random undermining by men for seemingly no apparent reason.

It's difficult to explain the context in which these things happen to me because there is no one specific occurrence I'm speaking about due to the frequency in which it happens. But to name one specific context I was speaking to a male friend talking about how I wanted to become a manager at work and the conversation went immediately to, "Women can't be managers. Have you ever had a woman manager? Women are too emotional to handle positions of power. Men are superior at those things." 

Another occurrence, (Which I did not explain well in the OP), was when I was driving my guy friend to his friend's house & he felt the need to assert to me that men were better drivers than women. We went into this entire discussion about how men were 'objectively' superior to women in terms of driving & survival in general. But I just did not see how this was a relevant conversation. In a society where we aren't facing too many physical threats all the time, why are we fixated on men having better survival skills than women & feeling the need to bring that up in an undermining way to try & establish our own superiority over someone else? 

My issue is not people wanting to have an unbiased fact based discussion on which ways men perform better than women & women better than men & vice versa, but the men who have these conversations with me aren't seeking to have a productive conversation about psychological/biological differences between the sexes. It seems as if the men in my life are always trying to assert their superiority over me in order to undermine me. This could be due to my personality type as I've always been a logical, rational, quick-witted, what some might say 'male-minded' with the way I go about things. I embody a lot of masculine traits & I think this is rubbing the men in my life the wrong way to the point where the men in my life see me as a threat or a competition rather than a womanly counterpart or fundamentally different in nature for lack of better wording. I'm being put on the same competitive playing field as the men in my life for whatever reason & I wanted to understand more about why/how to rectify this. 

   The main issue you're facing is how you spread out the negative behaviors of your interactions with men on a general basis across your personal time line, which is a common mechanism of the mind to not concentrate any needed work to change a problem or a belief it holds itself. In order for you to change a personal problem, you need to clarify more and more the nature of the problem until the problem ceases to be a problem. you've demonstrated that you could offer context to your problem, like with your example of at a social situation you communicated to your male friend about your desire to become a manager at work. Notice that in this context there's still missing details like how you communicated to your male friend speech wise, how you sounded to your friend, how you held your body while conversing, what were you thinking about while conversing, what were you feeling while you're conversing. Also Notice a lack in detail in describing your male friend: What is his appearance like? Is he younger, the same age or older? What is his mood earlier in the conversation, his tonality, his body language? How has his voice and body changed after you tell him of your desire to become a work manager? Does your male friend also work at the same workplace as you?  Another lack in this context is the situation itself: Is this occurrence at lunch break in work? At the afternoon cafe? At the restaurant? In a nightclub? Was the location noisy and busy with people, or is it too quiet and isolated? Is this at a funeral event? This occurrence were you communicated your desire for becoming a manager to your male friend, say, at lunch break in the cafeteria is different compared to communicating at the nightclub, around midnight while consuming alcohol.

  There's also the same issue with the lack of context to the occurrence while you were driving your guy friend to his friend's house. Is this the same individual you confided you desire to become a manager, or a different guy friend? Is his body language relaxed or tensed? What is his general mood before the ride, during the ride and after? What does his voice sound like? How does he speak? If he's annoyed before he's defensiveness during you conversation with him, what is he annoyed about? What is the condition of the interior of your car? Was it a mess, or was it very clean? Was there a fragrance you used for the car? What was it? Since this event occurred while driving, what was the traffic like? Was it too busy, or a quiet road? What was playing on your car radio? What music was playing, or what were the radio people talking about? What were the weather conditions like? Was there a minor emergency, like a quick turn to avoid a collision or bystander crossing the road or a miss firing of your car, that could've altered the relaxed mood between you two? Since you're driving, how competent are you as a driver? Fresh out of the driving school, driven for a few months or years? How's your pedal management like? Do you smoothly transition from baking to acceleration? Do you slow down smoothly before a sleeping policeman or yellow to red light, or is the transition broken rhythm? How's your handling of the stirring wheel? Too sharp or smooth transition? I'll share a bit about what annoys me the most in situations around driving: I have a sister that can drive, and has driven for about 2 years. Despite the years of driving, she still hasn't got down the timing of the stirring wheel turns, the accelerating and braking still have these staccato broken-up timings with each press of those pedals, which can effect my general mood and thinking into annoyance about her level of driving skill the times I would be the passenger. However, my father can drive his vehicle excellently, his handling of the pedals was smooth and timed well, his handling of the wheel is also smooth, his parking, frontal and reversal, is superb compared to my sister, and I know this from one of his stories about when he was a child, he had these types of toy cars that had an extended metallic stick that controlled the stirring of the toy car. When I was the passenger with/without other family members at the car, his driving has little to no adverse effects on my thinking and moods. My mother's driving is closer to my Dad's driving, except she would put more distance between her car and other cars, and her acceleration was more sharper than her braking. Sometimes I noticed I'd think and feel more nervous when she accelerated too much or enters the highway. In each driving situation, I'd also say depending on my thinking and mood prior to driving, and what's on the radio and how I communicate to the other passengers and driver, that their responses to me may also effect my thinking and moods.

   Another issue I noticed about your post is how you briefly offer some context to your personal individual problem with communicating to your male friend, but then you exit out of that context to go to a bigger, general context about unclear societal issues and unclear male/female dynamic problems and gender inequalities that is unclear. You bring up social problems with gender inequality, social treatment of females by males, and set up a meta justification that because society has moved on from physical threats, we don't need to fixate on male/female dynamic issues, all still too general. However, the additional meta contexts (society + patriarchy defensiveness + female victimhood) is a leap of faith of your mind: It doesn't want to work to resolve the personal problem with your guy friend's defensiveness, it now distracts by generalizing this specific context of your personal problem into other bigger problems involving different contexts like with other men treating women ( not how I was treated by my guy friend), because which society are you referring to with these male/female dynamics? The USA? The UK? Canada? Mexico? Europe? Africa? South America? Really, notice how different your personal problems look like with each society looks like as you replace the meta context of society surrounding your individual, personal problem at the social context between you and your guy friend? Also, notice the historic context your mind surrounds your personal problem with in reference to the lack of physical problems as a universal context to explain the social dynamics of male/female dynamic issues: What does this lack of physical threats look like? Native American savages? African tribal barbarism? Viking mass pillages? 

   I also noticed in your last paragraph that you have no issue with unbiased, fact based discussions in context of performance between the sexes. Why no issue? Here I'll presume about your mind a bit: Because you stated you have a mind that prefers logic, rationale and is a 'male mind', then of course you'd have not issue with unbiased, fact based discussions in context to performances between the sexes, as these qualities are acceptable modals of reality your mind has acquired and developed early childhood-present time. What your mind might take serious issue with are biased, feelings-based discussions/debates not in context with performances between the sexes, and especially will avoid addressing problems at the self identity level, where issues in context to social events involving family members, peers, students, in social contexts, where your forming self identity as a growing woman was challenged, and your mind had to delete, distort and generalize that physical/psychological/emotional trauma with male values of your upbringing and resists some of the female qualities that your mind perceived as what led to your vulnerability in the first place.

   I would first say to try and allow yourself, in a quiet private room in meditation, to allow yourself to feel your emotions, to identify your biases and really own your preferences, and let yourself be ok with being more right brained, more open to new experiences and alternative contexts, to explore different viewpoints of your problem.

[creator20]

3 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

@creator20

   The main issue you're facing is how you spread out the negative behaviors of your interactions with men on a general basis across your personal time line, which is a common mechanism of the mind to not concentrate any needed work to change a problem or a belief it holds itself. In order for you to change a personal problem, you need to clarify more and more the nature of the problem until the problem ceases to be a problem. you've demonstrated that you could offer context to your problem, like with your example of at a social situation you communicated to your male friend about your desire to become a manager at work. Notice that in this context there's still missing details like how you communicated to your male friend speech wise, how you sounded to your friend, how you held your body while conversing, what were you thinking about while conversing, what were you feeling while you're conversing. Also Notice a lack in detail in describing your male friend: What is his appearance like? Is he younger, the same age or older? What is his mood earlier in the conversation, his tonality, his body language? How has his voice and body changed after you tell him of your desire to become a work manager? Does your male friend also work at the same workplace as you?  Another lack in this context is the situation itself: Is this occurrence at lunch break in work? At the afternoon cafe? At the restaurant? In a nightclub? Was the location noisy and busy with people, or is it too quiet and isolated? Is this at a funeral event? This occurrence were you communicated your desire for becoming a manager to your male friend, say, at lunch break in the cafeteria is different compared to communicating at the nightclub, around midnight while consuming alcohol.

  There's also the same issue with the lack of context to the occurrence while you were driving your guy friend to his friend's house. Is this the same individual you confided you desire to become a manager, or a different guy friend? Is his body language relaxed or tensed? What is his general mood before the ride, during the ride and after? What does his voice sound like? How does he speak? If he's annoyed before he's defensiveness during you conversation with him, what is he annoyed about? What is the condition of the interior of your car? Was it a mess, or was it very clean? Was there a fragrance you used for the car? What was it? Since this event occurred while driving, what was the traffic like? Was it too busy, or a quiet road? What was playing on your car radio? What music was playing, or what were the radio people talking about? What were the weather conditions like? Was there a minor emergency, like a quick turn to avoid a collision or bystander crossing the road or a miss firing of your car, that could've altered the relaxed mood between you two? Since you're driving, how competent are you as a driver? Fresh out of the driving school, driven for a few months or years? How's your pedal management like? Do you smoothly transition from baking to acceleration? Do you slow down smoothly before a sleeping policeman or yellow to red light, or is the transition broken rhythm? How's your handling of the stirring wheel? Too sharp or smooth transition? I'll share a bit about what annoys me the most in situations around driving: I have a sister that can drive, and has driven for about 2 years. Despite the years of driving, she still hasn't got down the timing of the stirring wheel turns, the accelerating and braking still have these staccato broken-up timings with each press of those pedals, which can effect my general mood and thinking into annoyance about her level of driving skill the times I would be the passenger. However, my father can drive his vehicle excellently, his handling of the pedals was smooth and timed well, his handling of the wheel is also smooth, his parking, frontal and reversal, is superb compared to my sister, and I know this from one of his stories about when he was a child, he had these types of toy cars that had an extended metallic stick that controlled the stirring of the toy car. When I was the passenger with/without other family members at the car, his driving has little to no adverse effects on my thinking and moods. My mother's driving is closer to my Dad's driving, except she would put more distance between her car and other cars, and her acceleration was more sharper than her braking. Sometimes I noticed I'd think and feel more nervous when she accelerated too much or enters the highway. In each driving situation, I'd also say depending on my thinking and mood prior to driving, and what's on the radio and how I communicate to the other passengers and driver, that their responses to me may also effect my thinking and moods.

   Another issue I noticed about your post is how you briefly offer some context to your personal individual problem with communicating to your male friend, but then you exit out of that context to go to a bigger, general context about unclear societal issues and unclear male/female dynamic problems and gender inequalities that is unclear. You bring up social problems with gender inequality, social treatment of females by males, and set up a meta justification that because society has moved on from physical threats, we don't need to fixate on male/female dynamic issues, all still too general. However, the additional meta contexts (society + patriarchy defensiveness + female victimhood) is a leap of faith of your mind: It doesn't want to work to resolve the personal problem with your guy friend's defensiveness, it now distracts by generalizing this specific context of your personal problem into other bigger problems involving different contexts like with other men treating women ( not how I was treated by my guy friend), because which society are you referring to with these male/female dynamics? The USA? The UK? Canada? Mexico? Europe? Africa? South America? Really, notice how different your personal problems look like with each society looks like as you replace the meta context of society surrounding your individual, personal problem at the social context between you and your guy friend? Also, notice the historic context your mind surrounds your personal problem with in reference to the lack of physical problems as a universal context to explain the social dynamics of male/female dynamic issues: What does this lack of physical threats look like? Native American savages? African tribal barbarism? Viking mass pillages? 

   I also noticed in your last paragraph that you have no issue with unbiased, fact based discussions in context of performance between the sexes. Why no issue? Here I'll presume about your mind a bit: Because you stated you have a mind that prefers logic, rationale and is a 'male mind', then of course you'd have not issue with unbiased, fact based discussions in context to performances between the sexes, as these qualities are acceptable modals of reality your mind has acquired and developed early childhood-present time. What your mind might take serious issue with are biased, feelings-based discussions/debates not in context with performances between the sexes, and especially will avoid addressing problems at the self identity level, where issues in context to social events involving family members, peers, students, in social contexts, where your forming self identity as a growing woman was challenged, and your mind had to delete, distort and generalize that physical/psychological/emotional trauma with male values of your upbringing and resists some of the female qualities that your mind perceived as what led to your vulnerability in the first place.

   I would first say to try and allow yourself, in a quiet private room in meditation, to allow yourself to feel your emotions, to identify your biases and really own your preferences, and let yourself be ok with being more right brained, more open to new experiences and alternative contexts, to explore different viewpoints of your problem.

I'm not going to deny that my post lacks context but the reason it does is because I'm not able to recall precisely how I was gripping the steering wheel 5 months ago, what song was playing on the radio, whether or not the car was clean, & the myriad of minute details that would make a rather miniscule difference conversationally. I'm stating the scenario as I perceived the scenario. I know it seems ludicrous that a man would randomly say some of these things to me & that one would come to the conclusion that I MUST have done something equally as ludicrous to provoke it, but from my perspective on the situation, I know that I'm not someone who conversationally stirs the pot for absolutely no reason. I'm not the type to intentionally try to provoke someone's insecurities & competitive nature with my personae. Which has lead me to believe that my exhibition of more 'masculine' traits provokes the men in my life to the point where they feel a need to try & have these conversations with me in an undermining tone.

My meta-justification is based on me living in the United States where we are not (for the most part) in a constant physical life or death situation where underminingly bringing up the conversation of who is more capable of surviving a threat is irrelevant other than to try & peg superiority. 

I have no issue with fact-based discussions not because of my 'logical' mind, but because they tend to be more productive & level headed conversations that are not defensive emotional outbursts about which sex is more superior based on one's own bias & insecurity toward their own sex. 

I agree with your last point. After some reflection I'm not sure if this is so much my problem; It might be more of a problem other people have with how I present myself as a woman.

[Nobody_Here]

On 9/15/2020 at 9:19 AM, Toby said:

If course men are superior in specific areas of life. But why even talk about it? Doesn't make any sense.

Ok, if you say so ?

[Nobody_Here]

@creator20 I would not sweat over trying to remember how clean your car was, or any other superfluous details,  when you had that conversation 5 months ago. Nor would I reflect on how I come across if I were you, if it is only to avoid unpreventable attacks based on personal insecurity. 

Granted, I was not there in your conversations, and I have very incomplete information, but speaking as a female, I would just look for better friends or a more woman-friendly workplace. If that is not possible for you, then work on being less triggered when people say “X is objectively better than Y.” When you get to stage green and above, that statement makes no sense whatsoever, but it’s not your job to correct others’ errors about this topic.

These people are, for reasons that are not anyone else’s business, lying to themselves and others about the nature of reality, to their own detriment. Pro-tip: You are not responsible for other people’s self-deception.  Just live your life, be fearlessly yourself, and don’t give a thought to what anyone else thinks of it.

[Danioover9000]

@creator20

On 9/16/2020 at 10:08 PM, creator20 said:

I'm not going to deny that my post lacks context but the reason it does is because I'm not able to recall precisely how I was gripping the steering wheel 5 months ago, what song was playing on the radio, whether or not the car was clean, & the myriad of minute details that would make a rather miniscule difference conversationally. I'm stating the scenario as I perceived the scenario. I know it seems ludicrous that a man would randomly say some of these things to me & that one would come to the conclusion that I MUST have done something equally as ludicrous to provoke it, but from my perspective on the situation, I know that I'm not someone who conversationally stirs the pot for absolutely no reason. I'm not the type to intentionally try to provoke someone's insecurities & competitive nature with my personae. Which has lead me to believe that my exhibition of more 'masculine' traits provokes the men in my life to the point where they feel a need to try & have these conversations with me in an undermining tone.

My meta-justification is based on me living in the United States where we are not (for the most part) in a constant physical life or death situation where underminingly bringing up the conversation of who is more capable of surviving a threat is irrelevant other than to try & peg superiority. 

I have no issue with fact-based discussions not because of my 'logical' mind, but because they tend to be more productive & level headed conversations that are not defensive emotional outbursts about which sex is more superior based on one's own bias & insecurity toward their own sex. 

I agree with your last point. After some reflection I'm not sure if this is so much my problem; It might be more of a problem other people have with how I present myself as a woman.

   Sure, whatever you have to say to maintain your sense of self and mind. Have a good self actualization journey.