Advice about Life Purpose and General Discussion

[ougyarg]

Hi Everyone,

This is my first post in the forums! I picked up Leo's LP course about 3 years ago and it has been a game changer for me.  I went through probably 95% of his content and went on working on my life purpose (LP).  I picked a domain of mastery that I didn't have any talent in, but I really love, which was singing.  I worked hard over the years, got lessons, spent hundreds of hours practicing, thought about it, got feedback, and tried my best to get better.  I've improved a lot but I don't sound as good compared to other people I see on YouTube (See my 2 year transformation video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4d02s9Dr2Q). 

 

My concern is there some innate talent needed to get to a level of singing that's considered pleasant to listen to, and I'll never get there no matter how much I try.  I spent around 2.5 years on this and I'm hesitant to invest more time into it without knowing if I'll ever get there.  The impact I want to make on the world is to eventually teach others how to sing so they can learn the ability to be able to express themselves musically, no matter how untalented they are.  But if I can't get there myself, I feel there's no point in teaching it if not everyone can sing.  

I spent time thinking what other careers I could go into if singing doesn't work out.  I'm ivy educated, have a job in consulting/finance and young (26 y/o). I could pivot to other things, before I get older and it'll be harder to explore. However I'm not passionate about finance, and the things that I'm interested in would require me to learn new skills and start from ground zero again.  If I decide to pursue other things it would be more efficient for me to drop singing and focus my attention 100% on that instead of hedging to see if different LPs would work out.  

Have other people been in similar conundrums?  Facing a barrier on attaining mastery on a skill and being doubtful you'll get there?  What would guys/gals do if you were in my situation?  Thanks a lot. 

[Guest SirVladimir]

20 minutes ago, ougyarg said:

My concern is there some innate talent needed to get to a level of singing that's considered pleasant to listen to, and I'll never get there no matter how much I try.

The first thing I'll recommend you is to chew upon the book Mastery by George Leonard. It's compact, pleasant, impacting. Therein you may learn about the concept of plateaus and the master's journey if you haven't already.

If singing is your thing, don't let anything stop you. Sing from the bottom of your heart. Bring yourself to cry by the authenticity. Flow like a river, even if you sound ridiculous. Bask in the process itself. Your life purpose is happening now.

I have set, similarly to you, to get to a level of writing that's considered overwhelming and evocative to read, and I'll hit bricks and rocks until I make it.

If singing isn't your 'natural voice', worry not, English isn't mine neither. 

 

 

Edited September 14, 2020 by SirVladimir

[Neuroknot]

I would recommend changing your focus on singing. You could really be a great teacher without the need of being the best or even good at it. A lot of boxing coaches never have boxed beyond amateur level, yet they could really take someone with innate talent to a higher level of boxing. I would pick a singing teacher who has a good understanding on many areas of singing development, than just a good singer.

Remember that "not everyone can sing" is completely subjective and involve many factors such as: type of song, moment in the day, having warm up, etc. Kurt Cobain is not considered a great singer for some people. Yet for others he is a great singer!

If you feel that you reached your peak in terms of singing, that's great. Life has many chapters, now may be the time to look at singing from another lens 

[Matt23]

Personal journey & Personal contribution synergy

• The worries of not having talent you seem to express look like they also fit the struggle you want to help others with.  To me, helping people with struggles you've personally gone through and find meaning in is a key or great way to passion and impacting the world.
• It also lends more credibility and mastery in helping others with that issue.

What are the other things you're interested in?

• can you experiment and, yes, "dabble" (evil word ), with these without investing too much in them to get a better feel for what you want?
• I would hesitate to say that experimenting with different LPs is a waste of time (I dunno if that's what you think or not).  
• The "Buffet" analogy might be good here:  If you only ate Greek salad and shrimp at the buffet, you'd never taste steak and discover that steak is actually your favorite food of all time.

...

Use theory and contemplation to get a general felt-sense (intuition, heart, passion, excitement) of what you want.

Go out, do it and experiment with it for a while.  See if it fits (some things may take longer to suss out if it's a good fit or not).

Realize there will be drudgery, even in your true passions.

Have FUN with it! 

Enjoy the journey 

[Leo Gura]

10 hours ago, ougyarg said:

The impact I want to make on the world is to eventually teach others how to sing so they can learn the ability to be able to express themselves musically, no matter how untalented they are.

You've choose a mission which is a bit like: I want to teach people how to ice skate uphill.

It would be wiser to focus your teachings and services on those people who are actually suited to it.

An important aspect of the life purpose course is articulating your strengths and playing up to them. Design your LP around your strengths, not your weakness.

Also consider this very important distinction: teaching people how to sing is not the same thing as being a great singer yourself. You might be a bad singer but a great teacher. So clarify what you really want: do you want to be a singer or a teacher?

Rather than teaching everyone under the sun, teach those who show promise.

Maybe in theory you could teach anyone to sing, but is that really worth the effort? Maybe it is. I dunno. But maybe it isn't.

Just as a comparison, teaching everyone calculus is unnecessary and I would even say harmful, because most people are not suited to it and don't need it. Calculus should only be taught to those who really need it and have a knack for it.

[Dan502]

One option might be to take your desire to its limit.

Find out the extent to which you can make it happen. Explore. Research. Be resourceful, open-minded. Nifty. Use your skills, your values, your relationships. Your feelings. Are you on the right track? Is this still something that you want? If not, what else would you do?

We learn about ourselves and the world when we approach the boundaries of what might or might not be possible.

[arlin]

Man, listen... i have a story.

When i was little i loved singing and music, 8 years old and i wanted to become like michael jackson  

Everybody recognized me as a talent, i was the best at singing when i was little. I never believed talent was real, i used to believe that i was able to sing good because i loved it and made me feel all those things.

It isn't only now, that my brother has 9 years old, that i know something is off. He loves singing he does sing all over the house because my mom wanted him to learn the guitar and to be involved in music. BUT HE SUCKS.

He really has no talent at all... and i recognized "wow, so actually, i had talent". Everybody told me when i was little, they were amazed. i was able to sing with vibrato all over the place. If i wanted to have singing lessons, i would become really really really good.  

Now i recognize my talent in music which i did not develop. You, with all the lessons, sing worse then me when i was 8 years old. 

This may sound harsh.... but please, don't waste your time in the sense that you do have a talent in some place that maybe you havent found yet.

Maybe as leo said, you could be a great teacher. or maybe you can't sing but you surely can play an instrument.

Or maybe it's another forms of art, if you are very artistic. For example i really really suck at drawing. You could be very good at it.  The key is to work on your strenghts.

I said to my ount (she is a singer, i come from a family of musicians) when i was little "everybody can sing well because everybody loves music". "She told me. No. Everybody loves music but this does not mean everybody can sing well."

I wish you the best in life.

Btw, your transformation is good  Noticable.

[ougyarg]

@SirVladimir

On 9/14/2020 at 1:52 PM, SirVladimir said:

The first thing I'll recommend you is to chew upon the book Mastery by George Leonard. It's compact, pleasant, impacting. Therein you may learn about the concept of plateaus and the master's journey if you haven't already.

Thanks for the reminder to refresh myself on this book. Pulled out a quote that made me realize I spent a lot of energy being afraid I won't progress and worrying about the goal instead of focusing on how I can practice better.

"Unlike the Hacker, we were working hard, doing the best we could to improve our skills. But we had learned the perils of getting ahead of ourselves, and now were willing to stay on the plateau for as long as was necessary. Ambition still was there, but it was tamed. Once again we enjoyed our training. We loved the plateau. And we made progress."  

@datamonster

On 9/14/2020 at 4:33 PM, datamonster said:

Respect! That takes balls and commitment and you got much better!

I might be self-biased here, but how about Data Analytics/Data Science? I also studied business/finance and later transitioned into the data field. I developed a real passion for it and feels good to be able to offer skills that are so in demand. It has nothing to do with singing, but if you are a numbers guy and have business skills, maybe something to contemplate...

Thanks man, I appreciate it.  That's so funny I was considering leaving my job and doing a coding bootcamp.  I'm struggling to pinpoint if I feel passionate for data science though, I'm curious how you found your passion there. I'll PM you.

@Leo Gura

On 9/15/2020 at 0:28 AM, Leo Gura said:

An important aspect of the life purpose course is articulating your strengths and playing up to them. Design your LP around your strengths, not your weakness.

I'm murky on this point about playing to your strength.  Based on books like "mastery" and the "talent-code" one could make an argument any skill could be mastered barring a physical aliment by using deliberate practice as tool to force progress.  Why does playing to your strength matter? I mean I see the logic behind it.  If I was 5ft tall, the chances of me going to the NBA is zero, even if that's what my heart really wants.  Is it about making a compromise and finding a LP you're passionate enough about and you recognize you have a good shot of succeeding at? Kind of like an optimization problem where you try to maximize your passion and the limiters are your natural strengths. 

The strength assessment in your LP course gave out general broad categories that could apply to a many different fields. For example my top strengths were things like 'Self-control and self-regulation' and 'Industry, diligence, and perseverance'.  Maybe I got those b/c of my Asian upbringing  These things can be applied to any field.  My zone of genius was also something broad as well, I love presenting and performing in front of people.  I guess specific strengths/innate talent is something I have to assess myself.   

On 9/15/2020 at 0:28 AM, Leo Gura said:

Rather than teaching everyone under the sun, teach those who show promise.

Maybe in theory you could teach anyone to sing, but is that really worth the effort? Maybe it is. I dunno. But maybe it isn't.

Just as a comparison, teaching everyone calculus is unnecessary and I would even say harmful, because most people are not suited to it and don't need it. Calculus should only be taught to those who really need it and have a knack for it.

I see the logic of your analogy. I would just add the point that my vision was teaching people like myself, who really want to express themselves through singing but lack the innate talent and the guidance to get there.  I would say my impact is more like a PUA teacher who was once socially awkward being able to inspire and teach a nerd to be able to express himself genuinely to hot chicks so he gets the sex life he wants.  But hey calculus works too haha

@arlin

On 9/15/2020 at 6:17 AM, arlin said:

Now i recognize my talent in music which i did not develop. You, with all the lessons, sing worse then me when i was 8 years old. 

This may sound harsh.... but please, don't waste your time in the sense that you do have a talent in some place that maybe you havent found yet.

No worries man, I think I'm pretty good at taking criticism.  That's fair, I hear tell singers like Bruno Mars and Chris Brown say they discovered they could sing very young when they imitated other people.  I think natural singers have the ear and the ability to mimic sounds really well, thus they're able to copy other singers voices and make it their own.  I'm curious, are you able to also copy accents easily? Like a British or Australian accent? haha just curious, I like to poke around the minds of natural singers. 

On 9/15/2020 at 6:17 AM, arlin said:

I wish you the best in life.

Btw, your transformation is good  Noticable.

Thanks man I appreciate it!