Advice on Next Steps after Awakening?

[Carl-Richard]

Did you feel like dying?

[justfortoday]

12 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Did you feel like dying?

It felt like I was purified and rid of the weight of my ego.

Of course it came back in full force.

[TripleFly]

A similar thing happened to me some time ago.

I am going after my happiness, I chose a coding course, and I am working to support my own apartment, food, and lifestyle that I want to live.

My lifestyle has changed completely. I pray for the first time in my life sometimes. I fast most of the day and eat at certain times. I eat mostly fruits and veggies. I take psychedelics every now and then. I take cold showers and winter has become my favorite beach time(no kidding), I do breathwork, I sing sometimes, I also just watch youtube videos about dragon ball sometimes... 

When I started out I was super excited about all of these and was over doing it out of proportion, and so a big lesson for me has also been balancing all these things I want and love doing.

My goal that I chose for myself is moving to Hawaii, because-

With all of the shit that is going on in politics, economics, social things, social media. I just want a safe place. Hawaii seems great.

 

See, and maybe this is the bottom line for me, I have done 2 vipassanas(the first one being only a few weeks after my grand waking up to life), and after a lot of experience in other fields. Man. It's gonna take a bit of time + effort, to really, die. The end of your world, that's more like a destiny or a vision for me. And I can't, I can't, just take a retreat for a few days. This is gonna take a year I'd say. So I am working towards making that retreat a possibility. And at the same time I am working towards making my life great, healthy, wholesome, fun, and lively. I don't want to be a monk, I want to be in the mock of it, rolling in the dirt with the rest of us. That's what I was born into, that's the meaning of life for me. But I also recognize that a day in my life is coming where I will no longer be interest in anything but going really deep within. So it's preparation for that + living life.

 

[mavelezm]

On 16/9/2020 at 11:51 AM, justfortoday said:

Of course it came back in full force.

How? With thoughts or emotions?

[justfortoday]

7 hours ago, mavelezm said:

How? With thoughts or emotions?

Both.

It’s a beast I must slay at some point.

[jay1111]

Check out the awakening to reality site and specifically their facebook page after you have started to read their free book. Feel free to ask them for help as you have at least 5 people who have realized no-self as a permanent realization and they can be helpful.