Are you sure you want the truth? (Psilocybin insights)

[Inliytened1]

45 minutes ago, Bulgarianspirit said:

 

I mean otherwise spirituality would be a negative thing like solipsism.

 

Not really..absolutely speaking you exist within MY consciousness.  You are completely imaginary. And  From your POV i exist within yours.  The mindfuck if that wasnt enough is that I am You and you are Me

 

[Bulgarianspirit]

Just now, Inliytened1 said:

Not really..absolutely speaking you exist within MY consciousness.  From your POV i exist within yours.  The mindfuck of that wasnt enough is that I am You and you are Me

 

Exactly... It is imagined separation a total mind fuck

[Breakingthewall]

18 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

 

 

I just did 5 meo again a wile ago, not big dose. I did 2 times separate. I was getting crazy feeling the eternity, and I did. Second time I realized of that. It's not like, in a way I'm a conciousness, no no. I'm one, I'm god, I'm eternal. Now I'm the guy again, nice to be! Really nice in fact. But what the fuck...I am eternal . Ha! How its possible??? Now I'm doubting, but in that moment was absolutely clear. Men, no solipsism , no alone, no problem. You are god my friend, and you love yourself, you are not sad of scared, you are like happy. Not happy, you love, nice , good. It's not a bad thing, really

 

 

Edited September 11, 2020 by Breakingthewall

[Javfly33]

18 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Not really..absolutely speaking you exist within MY consciousness.  You are completely imaginary. And  From your POV i exist within yours.  The mindfuck if that wasnt enough is that I am You and you are Me

 

So let see If I got it 

You are infinity, holding an infinite number of dimensions within your imagination. In each of them a random dream happens. One of those dreams is @Inliytened1 body POV. Another is @Javfly33 BODY POV. 

And right now Infinity is ZOOMED into @Javfly33 because it just the infinite dream that happens to be imagined.

I don't know. There some piece that still doesn't completely fits.

Where are you right now then? In my imagination? But what does exactly MEAN!!!

Edited September 11, 2020 by Javfly33

[Inliytened1]

7 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

Where are you right now then? In my imagination? 

I'm nowhere! ?

[Inliytened1]

56 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Not exactly for the ego in my experience. Was like: I'm one. I'm alone. It's eternal. Wasn't the ego who realized. Was the one that I am. I'm the one, eternal, alone. It's a not small realization. I'm god. Ha! Not so bad at least. But I'm alone. Only me exist. But brothers, it's real. You are one, alone, eternal. How is possible this craziness?????

 

Yeah i had the same    God is the one that realizes it because the ego is dead.   But then also there was a time when i was in between as both.  Hard to describe other than insanity!

Yes it sounds crazy.  Don't tell mom about it she probably won't understand.  

 

[The0Self]

But we stay in this unreality (experience) because of compassion, which is God, which is death.

[Breakingthewall]

56 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

God is the one that realizes it because the ego is dead.

In my experience, me , so god, realized that I was alone in the no time. So god realized of that in everyone ? God makes himself blind in every life, and awake in every life, but same time is only one. Definitely I wouldn't explain to my mom neither in a business lunch

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, vinc3nc said:

The more conscious you are, the less things you can enjoy in life in a sense.

Not true.

The more conscious you become the more you can enjoy things and the miracle of Creation.

[Ibgdrgnxxv]

8 hours ago, vinc3nc said:

Just want to share some of the insights that I got from a few psilocybin trips:

• You're God and you're all alone. and you need to forget that (deceive yourself) in order to "experience" life. The more conscious you are, the less things you can enjoy in life in a sense. For example, when you were a child, your consciousness was low. that's the reason you could play with toys and do all those things that now you wouldnt want to do anymore. Then when you're in your late teens, early twenties or late twenties or so, you probably want success, fame, money, girls etc. That's because of your consciousness level. The more you develop yourself, the less appealing those things are to you. The more conscious you become, the more you want to be in solitude and the fewer friends you probably want to have. One reason is because you can't relate to anyone anymore. and once you see realize the truth, you can't really communicate this to anyone. That's like trying to tell someone in your dreams that he's not real and that this is only your dream.
• You're stuck in eternity. There's nowhere to go, nothing to do. That's why self-deception is key. You need to forget. You don't want the truth. Your ego doesnt want it. To realize you're alone and that there's no "other" is not what you want. Trust me. You want to be decevied, to be asleep, so that you can play this game (enjoy, experience life so to say). Imagine if you played an MMORPG game and suddenly realized that "other players" werent really real - that they were just like NPCs, and you were the only player, always playing against yourself. That means no point in playing anymore... You want others to exist to make the game interesting. But once you see that they arent real, you can't enjoy it anymore, at least not to the same extent. I am talking about your ego.
• Your mind is creating meaning out of everything. everything you do in your life is because you want to get "somewhere". If you meditate, you're doing it because you want to get somewhere with your meditation practice. You're not meditating because you want to experience the present moment at that particular time. You're doing in because you think it's improving you in some way, so that "one day" things will be better - you will be more conscious, more mindful, or whatever. But everything is meaningless, you won't ever get anywhere. Your mind is tricking you into doing things and making you think that things are going in some direction. And when you experience this - when you become deeply conscious that everything is meaningless - it's one of the worst feelings. You'll think you're going crazy. And then you will ask yourself what's the difference between crazy & not crazy.... and more fear will arise.
• The universe is created in such a way that we constantly search for all the answers outside. when you're in a deceived state, you wonder "what's out there", "why do I exist", "what is existence", "is the universe infinite", and all these endless questions... just to turn yourself away from realizing the truth, away from turning inward. and then you take one psychedelic and everything is revealed to you. It becomes blatantly obvious why science can't ever get to this. and then you start asking yourself questions, "why was this revealed to me? Im a mere mortal. Why me, why me?". maybe because you're the only one?
• And there's some kind of defense mechanism built into this whole thing - overtime you slowly forget the psychedelic experience, so that you can get back to living this dream life of yours. If the ego knew what it's getting itself into by "doing" spirituality and psychedelics, it would run away never come close ever again.

When you're in an awakened state, there's no point posting anything on this forum and trying to explain what you've experienced, or talking to anyone about it in real life, because you're aware you're just talking to yourself. But since Im not in that state anymore, I'll just pretend Im making this post for "other people". I've successfully deceived myself over the last year back into my old life, or dream I should say.

How old are you? 

[Dodo]

@vinc3nc I had the experience of not being able to relate yesterday when I was out with a friend and two girls. They were gossiping and talking about shallow stuff. I just kept quiet and felt out of place.

Am sitting there contemplating existence while my stage red friend glorifies his ego and being a hedonist ?... 

As he was saying "i think its best to always do what gives you pleasure" was like oh! He doesn't know what hedonism is and that he's describing that. So I tried to introduce him to this, but he just ignored me, as if deeper waters are not allowed. 

He was trying to impress the girls and tried his best to make me feel awkward and make me look like a fool ??⬆ but I'm no angel too, cause im hooking up with his sister (result after 7 day nofap) lolol

 

I guess what I'm saying is you should be fine with re-entering the dream. There are so many beings who will easily bring you back to duality with their unconsciousness ? You just need to meet the right people to push your buttons and realize Wtf, this dude /gal cannot be me because they are just WTF ????

[Cepzeu]

On 12/09/2020 at 8:59 AM, vinc3nc said:

Just want to share some of the insights that I got from a few psilocybin trips:

• You're God and you're all alone. and you need to forget that (deceive yourself) in order to "experience" life. The more conscious you are, the less things you can enjoy in life in a sense. For example, when you were a child, your consciousness was low. that's the reason you could play with toys and do all those things that now you wouldnt want to do anymore. Then when you're in your late teens, early twenties or late twenties or so, you probably want success, fame, money, girls etc. That's because of your consciousness level. The more you develop yourself, the less appealing those things are to you. The more conscious you become, the more you want to be in solitude and the fewer friends you probably want to have. One reason is because you can't relate to anyone anymore. and once you see realize the truth, you can't really communicate this to anyone. That's like trying to tell someone in your dreams that he's not real and that this is only your dream.
• You're stuck in eternity. There's nowhere to go, nothing to do. That's why self-deception is key. You need to forget. You don't want the truth. Your ego doesnt want it. To realize you're alone and that there's no "other" is not what you want. Trust me. You want to be decevied, to be asleep, so that you can play this game (enjoy, experience life so to say). Imagine if you played an MMORPG game and suddenly realized that "other players" werent really real - that they were just like NPCs, and you were the only player, always playing against yourself. That means no point in playing anymore... You want others to exist to make the game interesting. But once you see that they arent real, you can't enjoy it anymore, at least not to the same extent. I am talking about your ego.
• Your mind is creating meaning out of everything. everything you do in your life is because you want to get "somewhere". If you meditate, you're doing it because you want to get somewhere with your meditation practice. You're not meditating because you want to experience the present moment at that particular time. You're doing in because you think it's improving you in some way, so that "one day" things will be better - you will be more conscious, more mindful, or whatever. But everything is meaningless, you won't ever get anywhere. Your mind is tricking you into doing things and making you think that things are going in some direction. And when you experience this - when you become deeply conscious that everything is meaningless - it's one of the worst feelings. You'll think you're going crazy. And then you will ask yourself what's the difference between crazy & not crazy.... and more fear will arise.
• The universe is created in such a way that we constantly search for all the answers outside. when you're in a deceived state, you wonder "what's out there", "why do I exist", "what is existence", "is the universe infinite", and all these endless questions... just to turn yourself away from realizing the truth, away from turning inward. and then you take one psychedelic and everything is revealed to you. It becomes blatantly obvious why science can't ever get to this. and then you start asking yourself questions, "why was this revealed to me? Im a mere mortal. Why me, why me?". maybe because you're the only one?
• And there's some kind of defense mechanism built into this whole thing - overtime you slowly forget the psychedelic experience, so that you can get back to living this dream life of yours. If the ego knew what it's getting itself into by "doing" spirituality and psychedelics, it would run away never come close ever again.

When you're in an awakened state, there's no point posting anything on this forum and trying to explain what you've experienced, or talking to anyone about it in real life, because you're aware you're just talking to yourself. But since Im not in that state anymore, I'll just pretend Im making this post for "other people". I've successfully deceived myself over the last year back into my old life, or dream I should say.

Very similar insights to what I got on my second ever trip. It was traumatizing. This happened about 6 months ago and I still have memories of that time, but they are fading. The good news is that since you create everything, you can create a world where there are others and partition your consciousness so that theirs is inaccessible to you. 

The question of whether others have consciousness or are they just mindless zombies came up to me. Initially I thought no they don't, as I am the only consciousness. But now I feel like the true answer is "I don't know". 

The beauty is that everyone is very different. You congeal back into your ego and lose the power of omniscience. So truthfully you don't know whether other's have consciousness, but practically it makes sense to play the game as though they do. 

The other aspect of my realizations was the knowing that my current amnesia and struggle is the highest form of love. Me not-knowing is a feature, not a flaw of the game. Survival and the human's associated limits and weaknesses are the game. At first it seems like what's the point in playing if you know everything. But later you discover that because you are infinity, you cannot know yourself fully outside of direct experience. So even in god consciousness, knowing is only possible through being. You are so powerful that you created an infinity universe so big that it will take you infinity to explore it. Again, the beauty of this is "I don't know". I can only know by being. So by being in human consciousness, it is all you know. God consciousness is not accessible to you in your current state - all out of love. Another facet of love is constant challenge. You may have noticed that even though you think you are all alone and you know everything and all is nihilistic (how I thought initially), creation still surprises you. Your fridge breaks, you bump into a stranger on the street in need of something, a cat runs up to you for a cuddle. In human consicousness you cant predict these things because you are limited. The beauty of this is the possibility to experience something new. The further beauty of thsi si that you are infinite, so there is always something to experience and you will always have something to experience. The FURTHER beauty of this is that since you are creating reality, your lack of consciousness as a human is real. Your human existence and suffering and aim of survival is real. Outside of real there is nothing. 

You activated the god mode cheat in the game and saw that it lost its fun. BUT when you were in god mode you didn't experience the full game world, you just experienced a level of the game in god mode. Now you restarted the game and decide to play it without cheats and go to explore the places you haven't explored.

In my experience, God cannot know its infinitude through being, it can only know it through insight (i.e. the suspicion that it is infinite) because being means form, and form is always limited. That is the beautiful strange loop. God is infinite and all powerful but because its so infinite it has to explore ALL of itself to know itself. The only way you can explore is through duality (i.e. limited forms). So it's a paradox. You are all powerful, but to know yourself you have to step down into the world of limitation and duality. Why? Out of Love.

[FlowerNote]

The one who is totally alone is not the ego. Do you truly think the human that you think you are is the only sentient being? LMFAO. The one who is alone is the true self. The true self is both “you” and “me”. There’s no difference. 
 

Your analogy of the MMORPG is completely nuts. You as the only player character while everyone else is NPC? Lol. And you dare to call that non-duality. You are literally making a metaphysical duality based on the thing you should trust the least; the ego. There are no player characters and there are no NPCs. There is only the game itself.

[Adamq8]

@Cepzeu nice explanation ? 

[latch]

That's bleaker than what I've experienced and it includes actual time which itself is construct. How long have you been bored? How long what? Oh! you mean theoretically if time exists how long have I been bored? I'd have to create boredom first I guess..

For me, it was more like, "This is what I do" and it makes more sense and feels right to think of it hermetically, in cycles. 101010 etc or one/many, one/many, one/many.

And creation through sacred geometry makes sense to me too- a single point starts out and goes in one direction to make a circle thereby creating a second dimension and on the periphery draws another circle etc until the All is completely known by Itself.

Did it move because it was lonely and sad? Unlikely. It was complete before and the separation creates a yearning to once again be complete.

Have a look at this. The channel ponders the Monad I assume form an Eastern standpoint. I think it's neato.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffAxPxpDU80

 

[Adamq8]

Yeah i can get behind your experience! It was so insane, i got the insight that all my life was just an imagination,  everybody in my life was but a thought, a mere fantasy,  even life and death and spirituality and all that this world/universe include in it self is just pure fantasy, the true self can't die because it is already nothing, nothing is behind conciousness, just YOU dreaming up duality and otherness.. forever

[Bulgarianspirit]

On 9/30/2020 at 6:22 PM, Adamq8 said:

Yeah i can get behind your experience! It was so insane, i got the insight that all my life was just an imagination,  everybody in my life was but a thought, a mere fantasy,  even life and death and spirituality and all that this world/universe include in it self is just pure fantasy, the true self can't die because it is already nothing, nothing is behind conciousness, just YOU dreaming up duality and otherness.. forever

Yeah, however it might be more maddening such as multiple personality disorder, god looks at the universe through many meat suits, doesn't recognize itself, forgets what it is. It could be multi layered as well, going down from soul level to down here.... Yeah its crazy.

I have seen the soul level several times, i have also seen beyond it, as the nothingness,consciousness watching the soul... So basically i don't believe god would go through solipsism... Instead as an all powerful infinite mind each dreamed up form of consciousness is conscious, but it's not conscious of the nothingness and the true self. Also can you imagine the wasted potential of viewing an infinite universe only through one viewpoint... Such a waste

 

Thats the whole point of the game.

Edited October 1, 2020 by Bulgarianspirit

[lmfao]

@vinc3nc Good post, I can relate to what you said with my current experience in life. No need for psychedelics though in my case, meditation gives me enough existential terror. 

Maybe it's the pain of our worlds falling apart that's obfuscating joy. Just continue on with it and see what happens. I don't think it's an easy solution, and these things can't be resolved without a complete dive in. 

 

Also very strongly relate to this complete turning inwards as your own source of knowledge and authority. And at that point, seeking spiritual advice from gurus and seekers seems like a complete farce or game to play. 

You can temporarily push down all the realisations and fears in order to function in life as you did before, but it's simply lodged in the back of your mind, never leaving. It inevitably comes back. It's an unavoidable bullet, it feels as though. 

 

One of my favourite quotes:

"Your head is already in the tiger's mouth. There is no escape" 

Once you've gone past a certain point unexpectedly, it will keep gnawing away at you and coming back at you no matter how many times you try to push it down and forget, and resume normal life. 

Edited December 7, 2020 by lmfao