Are you sure you want the truth? (Psilocybin insights)

[vinc3nc]

Just want to share some of the insights that I got from a few psilocybin trips:

• You're God and you're all alone. and you need to forget that (deceive yourself) in order to "experience" life. The more conscious you are, the less things you can enjoy in life in a sense. For example, when you were a child, your consciousness was low. that's the reason you could play with toys and do all those things that now you wouldnt want to do anymore. Then when you're in your late teens, early twenties or late twenties or so, you probably want success, fame, money, girls etc. That's because of your consciousness level. The more you develop yourself, the less appealing those things are to you. The more conscious you become, the more you want to be in solitude and the fewer friends you probably want to have. One reason is because you can't relate to anyone anymore. and once you see realize the truth, you can't really communicate this to anyone. That's like trying to tell someone in your dreams that he's not real and that this is only your dream.
• You're stuck in eternity. There's nowhere to go, nothing to do. That's why self-deception is key. You need to forget. You don't want the truth. Your ego doesnt want it. To realize you're alone and that there's no "other" is not what you want. Trust me. You want to be decevied, to be asleep, so that you can play this game (enjoy, experience life so to say). Imagine if you played an MMORPG game and suddenly realized that "other players" werent really real - that they were just like NPCs, and you were the only player, always playing against yourself. That means no point in playing anymore... You want others to exist to make the game interesting. But once you see that they arent real, you can't enjoy it anymore, at least not to the same extent. I am talking about your ego.
• Your mind is creating meaning out of everything. everything you do in your life is because you want to get "somewhere". If you meditate, you're doing it because you want to get somewhere with your meditation practice. You're not meditating because you want to experience the present moment at that particular time. You're doing in because you think it's improving you in some way, so that "one day" things will be better - you will be more conscious, more mindful, or whatever. But everything is meaningless, you won't ever get anywhere. Your mind is tricking you into doing things and making you think that things are going in some direction. And when you experience this - when you become deeply conscious that everything is meaningless - it's one of the worst feelings. You'll think you're going crazy. And then you will ask yourself what's the difference between crazy & not crazy.... and more fear will arise.
• The universe is created in such a way that we constantly search for all the answers outside. when you're in a deceived state, you wonder "what's out there", "why do I exist", "what is existence", "is the universe infinite", and all these endless questions... just to turn yourself away from realizing the truth, away from turning inward. and then you take one psychedelic and everything is revealed to you. It becomes blatantly obvious why science can't ever get to this. and then you start asking yourself questions, "why was this revealed to me? Im a mere mortal. Why me, why me?". maybe because you're the only one?
• And there's some kind of defense mechanism built into this whole thing - overtime you slowly forget the psychedelic experience, so that you can get back to living this dream life of yours. If the ego knew what it's getting itself into by "doing" spirituality and psychedelics, it would run away never come close ever again.

When you're in an awakened state, there's no point posting anything on this forum and trying to explain what you've experienced, or talking to anyone about it in real life, because you're aware you're just talking to yourself. But since Im not in that state anymore, I'll just pretend Im making this post for "other people". I've successfully deceived myself over the last year back into my old life, or dream I should say.

Edited September 11, 2020 by vinc3nc

[28 cm unbuffed]

@vinc3nc

Same here. What can I say - just play?

[Breakingthewall]

18 minutes ago, vinc3nc said:

You're stuck in eternity. There's nowhere to go, nothing to do. That's why self-deception is key. You need to forget.

I perceived Exactly that tripping but I'm almost sure that itsnt a real perception. It's a merge of the eternity and the ego. The ego desperate in the no time. The self is infinite. Can't be alone, or stuck. Is complete. O it's that I want to believe. I didn't realize god conciousness, so I cannot say. I want to believe that because no one of the enlightened people said that the self is desperate in the jail of the eternity, but it's that I perceived, and very clearly

 

Edited September 11, 2020 by Breakingthewall

[Inliytened1]

@vinc3nc This is it exactly.  You can however still enjoy duality.  The trick is as God you need to be able to shift seamlessly betweenn duality and non-duality.  In duality your perspective or level of consciousness is back to being finite - aka you are imagining you are a human and furthermore you are imagining that that is real and poof it becomes real for you.   Amd others are real.  So you can still enjoy everthing - maybe even more so.  But fresh off a mystical state it will be tough as you are seeing now - and you will feel like you are going insane - consciousness is still elevated - and it feels like driftng between duality and non-duality.  After a long while you get back to normal human levels of consciousness and the ego settles back in - but scarred for life as it is revealed to be imaginary.

But yeah once you know the Truth the ego doesn't wanna go back there because it dissolves.   I had those mystical realizations myself through meditation and now to get there i would probably need psychedelics or completely forget everthing again.   Spirituality is some serious stuff.  

But anyway maybe its time to explore the depths of Godhood now and do many more trips.

There is still  more stuff you can become conscious of.

 

[Breakingthewall]

@Inliytened1 it means that the self want to Scape of himself, that's why exist the illusion

[Bulgarianspirit]

35 minutes ago, vinc3nc said:

Just want to share some of the insights that I got from a few psilocybin trips:

• You're God and you're all alone. and you need to forget that (deceive yourself) in order to "experience" life. The more conscious you are, the less things you can enjoy in life in a sense. For example, when you were a child, your consciousness was low. that's the reason you could play with toys and do all those things that now you wouldnt want to do anymore. Then when you're in your late teens, early twenties or late twenties or so, you probably want success, fame, money, girls etc. That's because of your consciousness level. The more you develop yourself, the less appealing those things are to you. The more conscious you become, the more you want to be in solitude and the fewer friends you probably want to have. One reason is because you can't relate to anyone anymore. and once you see realize the truth, you can't really communicate this to anyone. That's like trying to tell someone in your dreams that he's not real and that this is only your dream.
• You're stuck in eternity. There's nowhere to go, nothing to do. That's why self-deception is key. You need to forget. You don't want the truth. Your ego doesnt want it. To realize you're alone and that there's no "other" is not what you want. Trust me. You want to be decevied, to be asleep, so that you can play this game (enjoy, experience life so to say). Imagine if you played an MMORPG game and suddenly realized that "other players" werent really real - that they were just like NPCs, and you were the only player, always playing against yourself. That means no point in playing anymore... You want others to exist to make the game interesting. But once you see that they arent real, you can't enjoy it anymore, at least not to the same extent. I am talking about your ego.
• Your mind is creating meaning out of everything. everything you do in your life is because you want to get "somewhere". If you meditate, you're doing it because you want to get somewhere with your meditation practice. You're not meditating because you want to experience the present moment at that particular time. You're doing in because you think it's improving you in some way, so that "one day" things will be better - you will be more conscious, more mindful, or whatever. But everything is meaningless, you won't ever get anywhere. Your mind is tricking you into doing things and making you think that things are going in some direction. And when you experience this - when you become deeply conscious that everything is meaningless - it's one of the worst feelings. You'll think you're going crazy. And then you will ask yourself what's the difference between crazy & not crazy.... and more fear will arise.
• The universe is created in such a way that we constantly search for all the answers outside. when you're in a deceived state, you wonder "what's out there", "why do I exist", "what is existence", "is the universe infinite", and all these endless questions... just to turn yourself away from realizing the truth, away from turning inward. and then you take one psychedelic and everything is revealed to you. It becomes blatantly obvious why science can't ever get to this. and then you start asking yourself questions, "why was this revealed to me? Im a mere mortal. Why me, why me?". maybe because you're the only one?
• And there's some kind of defense mechanism built into this whole thing - overtime you slowly forget the psychedelic experience, so that you can get back to living this dream life of yours. If the ego knew what it's getting itself into by "doing" spirituality and psychedelics, it would run away never come close ever again.

When you're in an awakened, there's no point posting anything on this forum and trying to explain what you've experienced, or talking to anyone about it in real life, because you're aware you're just talking to yourself. But since Im not in that state anymore, I'll just pretend Im making this post for "other people". I've successfully deceived myself over the last year back into my old life, or dream I should say.

Its even stranger and twisted. Those Npcs are conscious and they are you. Who told you that an infinite mind limits itself to one ego only?

I mean otherwise spirituality would be a negative thing like solipsism.

What you are saying is my viewpoint is the only one, but you are merely one of god's infinite personalities, dream characters ,masks.

We are one being interacting with itself through many bodies.

Aka an Infinite mind.

It is why you can't change anything in the dream while on shrooms, you are merely aware of the whole, not creating the thing.

 

God has dissociative disorder in a way..

Bob talks to Tom, what is going on is awareness is feeding two puppets thoughts and speaking through each one. Its like a dream you are imagining Bob and Tom talking you can hear their thoughts,actions etc,but you don't know what they will say. Its just happening by itself. Now imagine this unlimited mind dreaming universes and people arguing about solipsism... Classic. I am YOU. In another shell,masked hidden. 

Edited September 11, 2020 by Bulgarianspirit

[Bulgarianspirit]

1 minute ago, Breakingthewall said:

@Inliytened1 it means that the self want to Scape of himself, that's why exist the illusion

Duh also to experience stuff.Trip with a friend man if you are brave and crazy enough. You will realize you are one being in different bodies. 

Had it happen with a friend. His reaction: "you met yourself"

"what a troll!" i said to him.

Edited September 11, 2020 by Bulgarianspirit

[Inliytened1]

30 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

@Inliytened1 it means that the self want to Scape of himself, that's why exist the illusion

he may have exaggerated because it is fresh to him.

Its more to experience what it is like to have separation.  God has complete Love for itself- all parts - without fear..  God waking up to itself for the first time and realizing that he is totally One is shocking.  The ego cannot handle it once it comes back.  But to God its amazing and blissful.

[Adamq8]

5 minutes ago, Bulgarianspirit said:

Its even stranger and twisted. Those Npcs are conscious and they are you. Who told you that an infinite mind limits itself to one ego only?

I mean otherwise spirituality would be a negative thing like solipsism.

What you are saying is my viewpoint is the only one, but you are merely one of god's infinite personalities, dream characters masks.

 

God has dissociative disorder in a way..

Bob talks to Tom, what is going on is awareness is feeding two puppets thoughts and speaking through each one. Its like a dream you are imagining Bob and Tom talking you can hear their thoughts,actions etc,but you don't know what they will say. Its just happening by itself. Now imagine this unlimited mind dreaming universes and people arguing about solipsism... Classic. I am YOU. In another shell,masked hidden. 

+1 nice explanation ?

[Inliytened1]

6 minutes ago, Bulgarianspirit said:

Its even stranger and twisted. Those Npcs are conscious and they are you. Who told you that an infinite mind limits itself to one ego only?

I mean otherwise spirituality would be a negative thing like solipsism.

What you are saying is my viewpoint is the only one, but you are merely one of god's infinite personalities, dream characters masks.

 

God has dissociative disorder in a way..

Bob talks to Tom, what is going on is awareness is feeding two puppets thoughts and speaking through each one. Its like a dream you are imagining Bob and Tom talking you can hear their thoughts,actions etc,but you don't know what they will say. Its just happening by itself. Now imagine this unlimited mind dreaming universes and people arguing about solipsism... Classic. I am YOU. In another shell,masked hidden. 

The awakening i had that was the aloneness one which it sounds like what he had - is to be  the Godhead - all others are held within your Mind.  The Giant Mind.  God dreaming.  That is a specific awakening.  To take God's POV in form is the way i describe it.

[Bulgarianspirit]

Just now, Inliytened1 said:

The awakening i had that was the aloneness one which it sounds like what he had - is to be in the Godhead - all others are held within your Mind.  The Giant Mind.  God dreaming.  That is a specific awakening.  To take God's POV in form is the way i describe it.

Its funny in a way...

When you analyze multiple personality disorder patients. They say they have many people in their mind. 

When one takes over  the person he becomes the main one,seeing the others are just facets of him,in other words that they are unreal.

But if you are one of those personalities and come out ... You would take the whole and say i am all alone. These things inside me are me etc.

This might explain how this madness works. I will try several other examples i gave in other threads from other enlightened people:

Infinite personality disorder:

On many trips I have found myself in a situation where I seem to just know things about the Universe. In many of these I have run across a dark interpretation of reality that I've never heard any of the New Age crowd talk about. Oh sure, I hear them talk about how All Is One and how great that is, and how we are all facets of the One that is All There Is, and when we die we return to that source, that loving source of all, and how mindblowingly wonderful that must be. I mean, it does sound pretty good. And I do get a strong sense that we are indeed all facets of the One Thing; that we are indeed all One.

The people that believe in such things generally say that the One separated into the Many in order to create the Universe and all within it. It was an act of love, so they claim. What else would it be?

On my travels into salvia space, I heard something else. (More accurately sensed it as if it had happened to me)

The One did indeed separate into the Many, but that was no act of love. It was an act of desperation fueled by abject horror.

The One went insane, you see.

The One was ALL that there was, the only single solitary thing in existence, and eventually after eons of that, it fractured into the Many in much the same manner that a schizophrenic descends into madness- out of sheer stark-raving terror. It was so *lonely,* so very *lonely,* and it could only hold dialogue with itself. More utterly *alone* than anything we humans can even begin to imagine, utter terror, the darkness of madness, and the prospect of eternal fearful isolation drove it to fracture itself into many minds all desperately trying to cling to and believe that they really are individuals which are completely separate from each other and above all else, that they're really definitely positively not in actuality only one being.

(please oh please oh please let's never ever ever let ourselves remember that we're really all just one solitary being, not that, not ever, never please never, anything but that...)

The whole reason we're "here" is so that we don't have to be *there.* There with the One, there in that awful state of knowing full well that we are not we, we are instead I, and I am fucking lonely and afraid and absolutely mindlessly terrified of my reality as the only fucking being in all existence. Not just the only being, but the only thing! Hell, there *IS* no existence, only me

God has multiple personality disorder, times infinity.

The first time this came to me it overwhelmed me. I actually cried for The One in pity, feeling it's awful pain, vividly sensing it's despair and loneliness, and then TERROR STRUCK ME as I realized that it was myself that I was crying for, for I am it, and it is me, and we are/I am a royal fucking mess. Yes, we/I deserve pity if anyone does, but there's no one to pity me but me, no one else to turn to for comfort, and no way to deal with myself and what I really am and remain sane other than to deny to myself that that's what I really am. I must live a lie or face my own insanity.

So that's what I've been doing, for pretty much eternity now. Reality is a by-product of my desperate need to distract myself.

I am the subject and the object. Not nearly as much fun as being the Alpha and Omega, let me assure you.

http://salviaspace.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-darkest-interpretation.html?m=1

Edited September 11, 2020 by Bulgarianspirit

[Breakingthewall]

7 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

God waking up to itself for the first time and realizing that he is totally One is shocking.  The ego cannot handle it once it comes back

I did 5 meo and I experienced exactly that. I was one, alone in the no time for the eternity. Was absolutely traumatic

[James123]

@vinc3nc

[Inliytened1]

1 hour ago, Bulgarianspirit said:

Its funny in a way...

When you analyze multiple personality disorder patients. They say they have many people in their mind. 

When one takes over  the person he becomes the main one,seeing the others are just facets of him,in other words that they are unreal.

But if you are one of those personalities and come out ... You would take the whole and say i am all alone. These things inside me are me etc.

Yeah it sounds crazy but it was direct.  It was during a series of awakenings i had after about a week of meditation and self inquiry.   But yeah Gods perspective is imagining everything - all of it.  All other people, inanimate objects, everything, is held within  your consciousness.  It does not necessarily interfere with others having POVs.  (Or you being them simultaneously as God) Its just that this is in fact is what is really going on and you can mystically be shown it (by yourself, in God mode!).  I did - others have too.  So it doesn't mean solipism.

[Bulgarianspirit]

The "eternally complete consciousness," a. k. a. God/Goddess/Self is the Infinite One proclaimed by mystics from every tradition. Direct knowing of the One Consciousness dissolves the self who would be the "knower." There is no one standing apart from the One to bear it witness when awakening occurs. Rather, the individual self is understood to be an illusion of a separate identity. All duality ceases to have meaning; there is no opposition or division anywhere. In the deepest sense, no one can awaken to this truth. Becoming Self-Realized is the experience of knowing there never was and never will be anyone to become enlightened, and that nothing but Consciousness IT-Self is eternally real. Mystics throughout the ages have struggled to convey this apparently logic-defying Reality which seems to be saying that nobody is there when satori/samadhi occurs. But that is just it -- there is no body, there is only the One Eternal Self, the true Self who we all are. In this highest sense, we do not each have a distinct and separate Atman/Self. Rather, we are individuations, creative expressions of a Single Being. Throughout my life this knowledge has followed me as a reminder that nothing in this world is entirely as it seems, particularly not my own ego-self.

there was no one in existence but the One, and that even God-asleep-to-God in so many "dream" forms of multiplicity was by divine design. There was no one else for me to attempt to awaken.

http://web.archive.org/web/20130606091318/http://www.elcollie.com/st/god.html

Edited September 11, 2020 by Bulgarianspirit

[Globalcollective]

yea I agree with @Inliytened1  it can take some time getting use to and can also cause really disruption to your life genrally but I think it actually starts to make life even better. Your free to create whatever meaning you want and also zoom out when you need to if things get messy 

[Inliytened1]

5 minutes ago, Bulgarianspirit said:

The "eternally complete consciousness," a. k. a. God/Goddess/Self is the Infinite One proclaimed by mystics from every tradition. Direct knowing of the One Consciousness dissolves the self who would be the "knower." There is no one standing apart from the One to bear it witness when awakening occurs. Rather, the individual self is understood to be an illusion of a separate identity. All duality ceases to have meaning; there is no opposition or division anywhere. In the deepest sense, no one can awaken to this truth. Becoming Self-Realized is the experience of knowing there never was and never will be anyone to become enlightened, and that nothing but Consciousness IT-Self is eternally real. Mystics throughout the ages have struggled to convey this apparently logic-defying Reality which seems to be saying that nobody is there when satori/samadhi occurs. But that is just it -- there is no body, there is only the One Eternal Self, the true Self who we all are. In this highest sense, we do not each have a distinct and separate Atman/Self. Rather, we are individuations, creative expressions of a Single Being. Throughout my life this knowledge has followed me as a reminder that nothing in this world is entirely as it seems, particularly not my own ego-self.

Nice!  

[Inliytened1]

25 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

I did 5 meo and I experienced exactly that. I was one, alone in the no time for the eternity. Was absolutely traumatic

Yes traumatic for the ego is an understatement - could barely look another person in the eye for about a week - but at the same time for me it was total liberation.  That this whole thing was mine.  Its indescribable.

 

 

[Dodo]

@vinc3nc Obviously you are inside the dream as a dream character so relax bro  Don't worry we are all in this boat together (or as the same thing, so lets just enjoy the dream ) 

Edited September 11, 2020 by Dodo

[Breakingthewall]

7 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Yes traumatic for the ego is an understatement - could barely look another person in the eye for about a week - but at the same time for me it was total liberation.  That this whole thing was mine.  Its indescribable.

 

 

Not exactly for the ego in my experience. Was like: I'm one. I'm alone. It's eternal. Wasn't the ego who realized. Was the one that I am. I'm the one, eternal, alone. It's a not small realization. I'm god. Ha! Not so bad at least. But I'm alone. Only me exist. But brothers, it's real. You are one, alone, eternal. How is possible this craziness?????

 

Edited September 11, 2020 by Breakingthewall