Hard time understanding FWB girlfriend

[StarStruck]

I find it hard to understand this woman I'm dating. We met through a forum and she is a gorgeous woman.

1.In the beginning we just wanted to hookup.

2.Then things become more serious. 

3. Afterwards she started openly flirting with other men on the forum (to make me jealous?)

4. I confronted her with that and she said it wasn't serious but I lost a little bit respect for her and my sexting became a little bit extreme

And now she said she "wants to be treated as a lady" while we are just FWB. It was clear from the beginning. Never lied about that. 

I mean, she is very considerate, smart and compensionate so the fight was settled very quickly but I kind of stunted by her mindset. 

Questions:

This girl has another FWB, so I don't want her as my partner, I just want her as a FWB too. How can I be that?

On the forum I see she is attracted to dominant types. Did I fell into the simp category? 

Edited September 11, 2020 by StarStruck

[Preety_India]

On the other thread you were talking about loose women and that was your biggest concern. 

Oh the irony!!

 

 

 

 

[Roy]

Friends with benefits does not exist (unless it's between 2 sociopaths), sooner or later one person will develops feelings or will break the unspoken "contract" of the relationship in some way. Like you've described here.

There is nothing to "understand" here. Both of you probably contributed to screwing this arrangement up. And from what you're saying about her it seems she doesn't know what she wants, otherwise she wouldn't have allowed things to become "serious" or demanded she be "treated as a lady".

Also don't waste your time thinking about stupid internet terms like simp or incel. The kinds of people that come up with and use those words spend too much time on the internet and not in real life.

 

Edited September 11, 2020 by Roy

[JosephKnecht]

@StarStruck @Preety_India You guys sound like you are married.  

Why don't you resolve your problems without involving all of us? 

[Preety_India]

@JosephKnecht it's an open marriage 

 

[StarStruck]

@Roy

I know what you mean. Usually it ends in a train rack. I"m just trying to learn some lessons to understand female life forms. If you act too kind you are not good, if you are too mean you are not good too. Wtf do they want?

@Preety_India

How can I describe her then? I try to not judge her past (because she is highly educated and kind) which is not easy for me. I can admit that.

@JosephKnecht

We have a complicated relationship with pretty Preety. Don't let me get started about it, broer.

[Roy]

45 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I know what you mean. Usually it ends in a train rack. I"m just trying to learn some lessons to understand female life forms. If you act too kind you are not good, if you are too mean you are not good too. Wtf do they want?

Well you're already onto one of the most important lessons in what you just said - balance.

Don't be a doormat for them to walk on or they lose respect for you, but don't be too much of a dick either or they won't want to be around you.

Just do the best you can with the knowledge and experience you have. If things still don't work out that's on THEM. You're already doing the best you can so don't worry about it.

[StarStruck]

@Roy true that. Blue pill says one needs to find a balance between dominance and intimacy.  I don't have a lot experience with girls so I'm still in the balancing act. I need to date more girls but I feel stuck. There is no place for me to meet other than gym and the streets due to corona. 

[Preety_India]

2 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I know what you mean. Usually it ends in a train rack. I"m just trying to learn some lessons to understand female life forms. If you act too kind you are not good, if you are too mean you are not good too. Wtf do they want?

The biggest lesson here is that you shouldn't be with women who play mind games. 

No matter how attractive a woman is, mind games destroy all beauty she could have had offered. 

Now, see this is where you need some discernment.. You need to look at it this way. 

 

 

if you are too mean you are not good... In this case it is you who needs improvement and she is at no fault. 

If you act too kind you are not good... In this case she is at fault and not a good one to be around because she cannot appreciate you being good or takes you for granted and starts treating you like a doormat. Well this kind of woman is not good either way because you will always need to be pretentious around her or else she will treat you badly. You are not at fault and you are with the wrong woman. 

The best advice that I can give you as a woman myself is that be with a woman who gives you the chance to be a better man, who wants you to be a better person but at the same time honors your weaknesses and allows you to be fully authentic. You are allowed to be you in the relationship. Otherwise a relationship where you can't be yourself in order to impress her is a hidden trap, a suffocation and eventually in such relationships, men get the better sense and they move on. No woman or relationship is worth losing your mental peace or health. 

 

[JosephKnecht]

16 hours ago, Preety_India said:

The best advice that I can give you as a woman myself is that be with a woman who gives you the chance to be a better man, who wants you to be a better person but at the same time honors your weaknesses and allows you to be fully authentic. You are allowed to be you in the relationship. Otherwise a relationship where you can't be yourself in order to impress her is a hidden trap, a suffocation and eventually in such relationships, men get the better sense and they move on. No woman or relationship is worth losing your mental peace or health. 

Great advice. 

@StarStruck Now I can see why you were star-struck to marry her. Open marriage counts.  

[StarStruck]

@Preety_India Thanks, that is great advice for long term relationships. I'm not sure if I want to be in a long term relationship with this girl. I'm just trying to game her and doing a bad job I guess. It is a mutual exchange of sex and affection until we find better partners. That is my definition of FWB.

@JosephKnecht dude

[hamedsf]

first off what do you mean by saying [2.Then things become more serious.] >> did you make it serious or the things got serious by itself? never put pressure on making things serious if that was the case.

second off, don't show insecurities towards her good behaviors with other men, I can say hide it even if you feel so but if you want a much greater tip, I'd say WORK ON YOUR INSECURITIES, be protective but not insecure jealous  

[StarStruck]

On 17-9-2020 at 0:57 PM, hamedsf said:

first off what do you mean by saying [2.Then things become more serious.] >> did you make it serious or the things got serious by itself? never put pressure on making things serious if that was the case.

second off, don't show insecurities towards her good behaviors with other men, I can say hide it even if you feel so but if you want a much greater tip, I'd say WORK ON YOUR INSECURITIES, be protective but not insecure jealous  

I'm aware it is just the ego. My trying to latch on this girl because it is a rare commodity for my ego. I know I have to work on my insecurities and in particular let my ego lose up but that is easier said than done. I'm doing shadow work at the moment and I'm hoping for the best. Currently being paranoid she will leave me and trying not to act like a total fool. That would just make her repulse.

Edited September 21, 2020 by StarStruck

[Byun Sean]

@StarStruck

When two people have sex, the body remembers.

 

Thus whether you are in a committed relationship, do a one night stand, or have an FWB; as far as the body goes that person who you last had sex with is your partner. Your thoughts, feelings, and emotions will reflect that with that person no matter what you both label the relationship on a logical level.

By having sex with different people or by participating in open relationships, you will see that your body will have many confusing memories and it will hurt you and make you depressed.

But hey, don't just take my word for it test it out yourself and see.

 

Many people believe when a person cheats on someone in a relationship, it is the person who gets cheated on that is the only one that gets hurt.

This turns out to be false.