Choosing Values - Life Purpose Course

[Samuel Garcia]

I'm doing the values assessments on the Life Purpose Course. But I feel some of the values I have chosen should be changed -- there a feeling that something is not quite right.

I put down truth as one of my values because I am beginning to see that truth is something that our whole life will be determined by. Seeing reality how it is would influence the choices we decide in our lives. I haven't got into spiritual enlightenment but intend to dive deeper into this. The problem is that I just don't feel authentically aligned with truth. Logically I think truth which should be highly valued but it doesn't feel authentic. And maybe this will change in a few months. 

A second value I put down is connection. To me this means sharing moments with people where we just be ourselves and express what we feel and really think thereby having a 'spark' between us and also embedding deep friendships. This feels very authentic to me but I feel that past experiences may have dictated this. I haven't had many friends up to this point in my life and perhaps that's why I value connection. I have also had some bad experiences trying to make friends where afterwards I would feel negative emotions. Is it inauthentic to allow past experiences to dictate my values?

I also value love highly -- but I haven't had any love or intimacy in my life so this value which I rate highly is coming from a place of neediness despite feeling really authentic. 

I would love to hear your thoughts and the reasoning for your values. What values have you struggled to decide to go with? How hard did you find this part of the Life Purpose Course if you did it?

Edited August 15, 2016 by Samuel Garcia

[Orange]

@Samuel Garcia I didn't do the life purpose course but maybe this can help you.

I think you would have to sit down with the different values you mentioned to feel them in your body so to say. How do you feel when you sit with truth? How do you feel when you sit with love etc. 

Also you mention the past, but when you 'sit' with the value, it would be better perhaps thay you sit with it without wrapping it up in neediness or logic or whatever. Just take the value of the shelf, sit with it in your lap and notice how you feel in your body..and voila! 

 

These things take time, take your time, you can put it back on the shelf and take it off again later

Edited August 15, 2016 by Orange

[Samuel Garcia]

Thanks Orange. We have to be patient here and I will set a aside a good hour to feel these values.

[Jelly_Shades]

I'm in the middle of the course myself and I'm very unsure of what my values are or what my passions are, and all that. I don't really have a clear and concrete idea of what these are for me. So, besides agreeing with what Orange said, what I'd like to say is, I am really sure that, over time, as we get deeper and deeper into this type of self-development work, our values and such will be refined over and over and become clearer and clearer as time goes on. They'll probably even change to other things as  we get more authentic.

[Pelin]

Past experiences of course can teach you what you want, because of shallow relationships maybe you value deep and genuine relationships now. 

And values can change over time, we grow every minute so personal values aren't set in stone like a holy book. What you wrote made me remember to look up my list of values I made up 4 years ago and compare it with a recent one. Here it goes, the ones that are crossed out are not in my list anymore.

November 2012: I noted I wasn't sure if I had any values left but I listed 6 once I started:

1. Enjoying life (very vague, right)

2. Family

3. Honesty (noted: never to let go) 

4. Pride

5. Learning more

6. Connection (noted: less introversion) 

Now, having forgotten this list I made another one last week, and it involves:

adventure, creativity, curiousity (aka learning more), inner peace, honesty, love, productivity, spirituality, health.

It is much more individualistic than the first one, although I included love in this. I definitely value love and it is towards my family and the nature alike. It is great to see I let go of pride and do not see myself as pushing myself to be more extrovert. So I just wanted to show you values change over time. If you feel like these are yours for the time being, embrace them!

[Samuel Garcia]

@Jelly_Shades @Pelin I will hopefully enter university in September (if I get the grades on Thursday, wish me luck!) and perhaps this is a real opportunity to find ones real values by trying lots of things out. For this course. we don't need to get the values right straight away -- just go with what we think feels the most right and they will definitely develop as time goes on and we self-actualize. 

For me there is still resistance as to put down productivity as I logically know it is a very important one but it just doesn't resonate with me -- but that doesn't mean it is mot valued if it isn't in my top 10. 

[Jelly_Shades]

@Samuel Garcia Good luck! And remember, you can re-program your identity to become a more productive person! Think as one, live as one. Over time, it then becomes natural.

[Kevin Dunlop]

On 15/8/2016 at 5:52 PM, Samuel Garcia said:

The problem is that I just don't feel authentically aligned with truth. Logically I think truth which should be highly valued but it doesn't feel authentic. And maybe this will change in a few months. 

A second value I put down is connection. To me this means sharing moments with people ........bad experiences trying to make friends where afterwards I would feel negative emotions. Is it inauthentic to allow past experiences to dictate my values?

I also value love highly -- but I haven't had any love or intimacy in my life so this value which I rate highly is coming from a place of neediness despite feeling really authentic. 

 

It is hard to feel aligned with truth because words dont convey it. Words have this problem they function with duality. Your Identity is made up of words you tell yourself about what you want, who you are and what things that happen mean and how you should respond. Alot of this, if not all, goes on without you being conscious of it. The identity will not let you feel truth, so you have to slip away from it somehow to have an authentic truth.

 Connection to reality, everything you experience as it is, no labels to simplify things down to an untrue level is a larger connection. Connection to how you are constructing objectives, obligations, interpretations or not doing this by being aware of reality without the filtering. As far as people I havnt got too focused on connecting with them in a normal postmodern identity way. It does lead to problems because the identity is not well trained in either person to ensure harmony. You have to except people for who they are and their limitations that come from what they have learned so far. A person is infinite potential but does not allow this because of the identities limitations and contradictions. 

Love is wonderful but again as with friendships you will run into trouble if your objectives come from your conditioned identity. You need to have a very special education for love to really work. I would say that part of it is not really wanting what you learned love is but letting your relationships be as they are, freeing yourself and your partner from fabricated obligations to act a certian way, here good things will come naturally, and if they dont and you need space thats OK too. 

[Eelco1981]

@Samuel Garcia It is very important that you choose your values based on what you feel, NOT based on what you THINK SHOULD be your values. Act according to your feelings. Your feelings might change over time and thus your values.

[Pelin]

@Samuel Garcia don't put anything in there that doesn't resonate with you. Like honesty always resonated with me, but being social and meeting people in big groups/ partying never did. I put it in the first list maybe thinking I needed to be more social, and it didn't survive to day. It is very personal, you don't need to share it with anybody, but deep core you know this is you, not someone else you are trying to be.

Good luck in your studies, I guess you know if you made it by now! And remember, we are not confined to our uni. degrees or majors or grades or whatever.

 

[Samuel Garcia]

@Pelin There is a lot of resistance for me to cross the value reality off the list but it is best to do so as it doesn't resonate with me as much as something like open-mindedness but I'll make the changes. 

Thanks and I did make it.