Dealing with heartbreak

[allyo2003]

Any suggestions on dealing with heartbreak? I'm trying to get my mind right and really struggling. 

[Roy]

I'm guessing you separated from someone? I may be wrong you'll have to correct me, I'll just give my advice based on that assumption. Apologies in advance if it's not relevant.

I just broke up with my partner as well, we've been sorting things out the past month so I know what you're going through.

Whether or not you initiated the break-up doesn't matter really matter at this point, it's not useful to dwell on it except for whatever you can extract from it to understand your feelings and move through them.

What's important right now to make your mind right is to make the situation a win-win. It would have been a win if you stayed together in your mind right? Realize you are coming up with all those reasons for why it would be great, correct? So that means you're totally capable of coming up with all the good benefits to being apart now. You need to start crafting a vision for yourself and what your life will look like without that person, what does it free you up for? What new passions can you pursue? What burdens or constraints was the relationship putting on you that you're now free of?

It may feel hard to come up with those positive answers, but trust me they are there. Don't let the sadness cloud that for you, it's ok to feel shitty and confused and asking "why?", but you need to let those emotions pass after feeling them. Don't suppress them.

One more thing that's important is to realize you are a whole person on your own. Even if you have some flaws or inadequacies that they were maybe filling, it could be a good thing you aren't together now because those were now made clear to you. Every relationship whether successful or unsuccessful teaches us something about ourselves that might have been impossible to see on our own.

Now you can find out what those things are work on them and make yourself a stronger, healthier, independent person.

I hope any of this helps. Take care @allyo2003

Edited September 10, 2020 by Roy

[Martin123]

@allyo2003 Hi ALlyo!

The best sure way to deal with heartbreak of any kind is realising that the love you feel for another person can only purify and amplify whatever is within you and needs to be healed.

Therefore, the promise of this is 'no matter the heartbreak I feel right now, I will not shutdown the love within my heart, and whether that is towards the person who broke my heart, or towards someone completely different, I will remain with an open heart, no matter anyone's rejection or anyone's experience of me. Simply because it is the will of my highest consciousness to awaken a love within me that is so powerful and unconditional, that cannot be stopped by any amount of heartbreak, and this love will be counter intuitively awakened, by being heartbroken all over again, but still not shutting own and remaining open in the aftermath of all the pain.

Sending waves of love and compassionate support right into your heart! <3 

[Cireeric]

Î found this Video yesterday and found it really eye opening and helpful. You will get better.

[Lise]

Some concrete actions you can take that has helped me:

- remind yourself about the reason why it ended

- remove things that remind you of the person if you can

- give yourself time. It's unrealistic to expect that you will be any good at work or studying right after a break up. It's like a drug withdrawal.

- call a friend or someone you trust (if you have people like that in your life). It really helps to get all of the feelings out, and feel that there are someone there to support you.

- after you've grieved and the break up isn't so fresh, start doing things that spark joy for you.

 

Also, probably don't do shrooms. I just run straight back to my ex when doing them (don't know why). And I regretted that, because there was a reason for why it ended, and I didn't remind myself of it enough.

Know that you're not alone <3 Breakups are tough, we're here for you! And there is an end to the pain, even though it doesn't feel that way:)

[Natasha]

On 9/9/2020 at 9:34 PM, allyo2003 said:

Any suggestions on dealing with heartbreak? I'm trying to get my mind right and really struggling. 

This might come across as a funny suggestion, but it can be very effective. Visualize the other person a few decades from now looking old, beauty faded, maybe even frumpy and smelly, and possibly with a old person handicap. Would you still want them?  

[Thestarguitarist14]

The Sedona Method is a good way of dealing with heartbreak:
 

 

[allyo2003]

@Roy Great insight, this helped. Thank you

[allyo2003]

@Martin123 Thank you!!

[allyo2003]

@Lise Thank you!!

[LilyDI]

 

Keep yourself busy. Find your favorite hobby. This should help you distract yourself)