I don't know how much more of this i can take.

[Kshantivadin]

You need psychedelic assistance for your ignorance lol @Preety_India

do you kill mosquitoes? or bugs?

[Preety_India]

@Kshantivadin  stop being rude. 

Telling someone to get psychiatric assistance for hurting their pets by kicking is not called ignorance but telling them to get help. 

Grow a brain and grow a heart. 

And grow up a bit. 

 

[VerballyHazardous]

@Mu_ (i don't know how to remove all of this)

On 9/9/2020 at 10:58 AM, Mu_ said:

@VerballyHazardous

This is a disclaimer and an apology, not just some snarky reply trying to anger you.

I want to make it clear that:

•I no longer abuse my animals, in fact i only showed these behaviors not long ago during a short period of time, 95% of these breakdowns are me feeling heartbroken and crying. Under normal circumstances, i would never thought of abusing an animal, i would get angry when others do things that would make whatever animal they are interacting with feels uncomfortable. Now that i'm somewhat stable, i posted it here to get some support.

•It's not like i gain pleasure from beating my animals, it's a bad coping strategy, i have to restrain myself while beating them to avoid any permanent damage. If you are wondering, yes, i do feel bad after the beatings, i do feel ashamed of my actions, that's why i even brought it up in my post in the first place, so people can see the severity of my situation, in hope that i can recieve the advices i needed, so i can change myself.

•Preety, Keyhole, and others that may be triggered (but aspecially you two), i understand your softspot for animals, i can see the anger in your responds. Understand that you don't know what kind of thoughts and emotions that went through my head at those time. You don't know me, you don't know my all of my life conditions, you lack the context to even look at my post without without getting triggered at the devilry that i commited let alone trying to give proper advices. A simple "Get help" just sounds dismissive and irresponsible from my point of view, reading your responds just make me want to retract even further into my shell, allowing my perversion to develops.

•Preety, i am offended by you calling me a psychopath and that i lack empathy. I'm usually the one that have to deal with this kind of so called 'psychopath' people and stand up to their abuses. I completely understand why you would feel this way, to let you know: i've lost pets too, numerous times through out my life, usually sudden and unexpected, i had carried that pain with me for years, i felt alone because friends and family members just don't have as that much feeling towards animals, "if it dies just get a new one". I would have never expected that i could felt like hurting my pets.

•It's quite ignorant of you both to think that somehow you could simply control yourself if you were to experienced what i experienced. Imagine falling so deep into despair and hopelessness that you, despite having an identity of loving and caring for animals could raise your fist at your pet and shout at it. Any normal or sane person given the right condition could become a sosciopath, animal abuser, ect. No need to be 'dead beat mothers', i've gone through a fair share of horror myself. Forget about everything you've gone through in life, just imagine being me, imagine being however ignorant and naive you think i am.

•I've done such horrible things in life that i couldn't possibly share with anyone in fear that they would turn on me and leave me to rot. I want to change, i want myself to feel happy so that i can make others feel happy, and this place is the best chance that i have. If all i get is hate, then i would propably feel better hanging around a bunch of cow butchers.

 

I've made my points clear, yes i've done everything that i said i've done and more, i never enjoyed doing it and never will, now i want to change. No need to drag this topic on any longer. If you feel like you don't have the clarity to help me, don't, you hurt yourself, you hurt me, then i go and hurt others.

I don't want to guilt anybody, simply create the environment for me to change.

Edited September 12, 2020 by VerballyHazardous

[Johnny5]

@VerballyHazardous There seem to be a few replies here from people who are able to understand from first hand experience how you feel and how it affects you. That includes me. Recommend that you don't waste your time and energy trying to apologize or defend yourself against others who don't or can't understand. That's the last thing you need. Forget them, they're not important, you are. Focus only on things that help you.

For what it's worth, it may help for you to understand that your rage is a natural response to pain. It's your body that reacts this way, and it reacts to repressed emotional pain at least as much as physical pain (because there is actually no difference). Any hurt organism would react the same way if the conditions are there.

When you understand how this works, you can find a more appropriate way of venting it without creating more problems, and not have to guilt yourself over it (which only adds to the pain and represses the anger). We both know that you love your pets, and we also both know that you can't push down the rage when it needs to come out. So think of any number of alternatives that you can come up with, and have them ready. You won't need it forever, but for now you do.

Edited September 12, 2020 by Johnny5

[Kshantivadin]

@VerballyHazardous Proud of you to have the wisdom to tell the people you reached out to how they should help you. hahahaha

Edited September 12, 2020 by Kshantivadin

[purerogue]

Lets start by clarifying one thing, people are born different, they have different issues, different brain patterns, just because you can act more clearly under way worse conditions, does not mean that someone does not feel way worse, lose control under way less horrible situations.

He needs help, not judgement about his past. 

[Preety_India]

8 hours ago, VerballyHazardous said:

•Preety, i am offended by you calling me a psychopath and that i lack empathy. I'm usually the one that have to deal with this kind of so called 'psychopath' people and stand up to their abuses. I completely understand why you would feel this way, to let you know: i've lost pets too, numerous times through out my life, usually sudden and unexpected, i had carried that pain with me for years, i felt alone because friends and family members just don't have as that much feeling towards animals, "if it dies just get a new one". I would have never expected that i could felt like hurting my pets.

 

Stop putting words into my mouth. I never called you a psychopath. So don't create things. I only told you to get psychiatric assistance because anyone who hurts pets needs psychological counseling. Is this a big deal for you?  That I told you to get help. 

I apologize if I offended you in anyway.. But I felt the responsibility to tell you what is wrong. 

I'm not going to respond to your thread anymore. 

I only wanted to tell you that you need serious help. My job is done. Rest is your choice. 

No need to guilt me for telling you to get help. 

You can simply say that you don't want any such counseling and be done with it. 

I hope your situation improves. 

 

 

Edited September 12, 2020 by Preety_India

[Mu_]

9 hours ago, VerballyHazardous said:

@Mu_ (i don't know how to remove all of this)

This is a disclaimer and an apology, not just some snarky reply trying to anger you.

I want to make it clear that:

•I no longer abuse my animals, in fact i only showed these behaviors not long ago during a short period of time, 95% of these breakdowns are me feeling heartbroken and crying. Under normal circumstances, i would never thought of abusing an animal, i would get angry when others do things that would make whatever animal they are interacting with feels uncomfortable. Now that i'm somewhat stable, i posted it here to get some support.

•It's not like i gain pleasure from beating my animals, it's a bad coping strategy, i have to restrain myself while beating them to avoid any permanent damage. If you are wondering, yes, i do feel bad after the beatings, i do feel ashamed of my actions, that's why i even brought it up in my post in the first place, so people can see the severity of my situation, in hope that i can recieve the advices i needed, so i can change myself.

•Preety, Keyhole, and others that may be triggered (but aspecially you two), i understand your softspot for animals, i can see the anger in your responds. Understand that you don't know what kind of thoughts and emotions that went through my head at those time. You don't know me, you don't know my all of my life conditions, you lack the context to even look at my post without without getting triggered at the devilry that i commited let alone trying to give proper advices. A simple "Get help" just sounds dismissive and irresponsible from my point of view, reading your responds just make me want to retract even further into my shell, allowing my perversion to develops.

•Preety, i am offended by you calling me a psychopath and that i lack empathy. I'm usually the one that have to deal with this kind of so called 'psychopath' people and stand up to their abuses. I completely understand why you would feel this way, to let you know: i've lost pets too, numerous times through out my life, usually sudden and unexpected, i had carried that pain with me for years, i felt alone because friends and family members just don't have as that much feeling towards animals, "if it dies just get a new one". I would have never expected that i could felt like hurting my pets.

•It's quite ignorant of you both to think that somehow you could simply control yourself if you were to experienced what i experienced. Imagine falling so deep into despair and hopelessness that you, despite having an identity of loving and caring for animals could raise your fist at your pet and shout at it. Any normal or sane person given the right condition could become a sosciopath, animal abuser, ect. No need to be 'dead beat mothers', i've gone through a fair share of horror myself. Forget about everything you've gone through in life, just imagine being me, imagine being however ignorant and naive you think i am.

•I've done such horrible things in life that i couldn't possibly share with anyone in fear that they would turn on me and leave me to rot. I want to change, i want myself to feel happy so that i can make others feel happy, and this place is the best chance that i have. If all i get is hate, then i would propably feel better hanging around a bunch of cow butchers.

 

I've made my points clear, yes i've done everything that i said i've done and more, i never enjoyed doing it and never will, now i want to change. No need to drag this topic on any longer. If you feel like you don't have the clarity to help me, don't, you hurt yourself, you hurt me, then i go and hurt others.

I don't want to guilt anybody, simply create the environment for me to change.

Just want to let you know, you didn't do anything wrong in sharing the truth of whats happening in your situation, it is what it was and now you want to change.  Unfortunately your going to face the reactions you did since not everyone is going to be able to handle such truth being shared, so understand that and don't let it make you shy away from changing, getting help and moving forward.

Did you read or try any of the advice I gave you?  I know it may be hard to let in, but your not alone in your pain, there are people who understand and have even been through worse.

Focus on your growth, your needs, and don't let others opinions sway you.

@Preety_India @Keyhole

Dont take what Im about to say as a disciplinary action or blaming, just my thoughts and opinions,

I know both of you are only being yourself and speaking your mind and maybe felt like you were helping, but it doesn't always means its going to be helpful.  In my opinion if we basically just say your a monster and one should never do this and what is wrong with you or just go get mental help, how is this supposed to help anyone who is actually struggling in a really bad situation and being honest with who they are at that time, would you prefer they not admit it and keep it to themselves, because they can't take back what they've done, so why shame them for wanting to come clean?  Should we throw them/him in jail for his confession?

This is the serious emotional problem section, so please let in the fact that some people are in really bad spots, dont know what to do, lacking love and understanding when responding.

[Preety_India]

@Mu_  I told him to get mental help not to shame him but from a place of love and maturity. It is not okay for him to keep the problem to himself and just express it on the internet. He needs help with his rage issues. 

"get help" are not simple words. It actually means going out, investing some time and resources and actually fixing an appointment with a psychiatrist and telling the counselor about his issues. The psychiatrist will then assess his situation and either prescribe him the medication to control his mental issues or he will be told to attend regular therapy. 

Attending such therapy with or without medication will improve his symptoms because the psychiatrist or psychologist is trained in understanding such issues and giving the right treatment program like exercises, group therapy sessions, talk therapy and specific activities and mental programs to shift the mental state. 

There is no shame in telling a person to seek mental therapy or psychological assistance (professional treatment). Such services exist for the same reason. 

This is for his benefit and for the benefit of society. There is no judgement in this. Simple suggestion. 

Thanks 

 

[Gesundheit]

@Preety_India I know you won't take my suggestion well, but you need to develop more emotional intelligence. You can't just offer advice bluntly to everyone like you did here. Sometimes you gotta be subtle and sometimes you gotta be blunt. In this case, I'm being blunt because chances are you're not going to get it anyways, but you can prove me wrong.

[Preety_India]

@Gesundheit I was being as subtle as possible. Can't be more subtle than that. Sometimes people need to swallow a bitter pill. They need to be told upfront so that they can seriously reflect and not take things casually. 

Thanks. 

 

[Gesundheit]

50 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Gesundheit I was being as subtle as possible. Can't be more subtle than that. Sometimes people need to swallow a bitter pill. They need to be told upfront so that they can seriously reflect and not take things casually. 

Thanks. 

I myself am not that good in being subtle, but for example, Nahm is a master. His EQ levels are probably among the highest that there are. To me, he is a really good role model. I always try to learn from him and I'm still nowhere near his levels.

[Preety_India]

@Gesundheit I surrender to you. Amen. 

 

[Gesundheit]

8 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Gesundheit I surrender to you. Amen. 

 

Good girl.

[Preety_India]

@Keyhole  thank you for your comment and for supporting me. 

 

[Gesundheit]

On 09/09/2020 at 10:48 AM, Keyhole said:

No one here has bothered to mention the fact that you have abused your animals, if you do this again you absolutely need to rehome them (you should be doing this anyways because it's clear that you don't deserve the love of an animal and that you are not stable enough to care for one properly) that behavior is not okay and the moment you read this message you need to think about your behavior, stop and f****** control yourself.

I'm sure that there were plenty of other things that you could have broken or hit or whatever the hell you needed to do but you went after something that was alive that has feelings and doesn't deserve to be abused no matter how bad you feel about yourself.

Do you understand that this behavior is a marker of psychopathy?  It means that you lack basic empathy and the fact that you are talking about trying to bring love into yourself that's not going to be possible while you're doing things like that.

from what I've read here you're an animal abuser and you feel sorry for yourself you want to fix that problem? I'll tell you what you need to do. Get over yourself and go volunteer somewhere.

Go to therapy. 

I would feel offended if someone said something like this to me. I understand that you love animals and can't stand the thought of them being hurt, but be careful not to hurt people while protecting animals. Everyone deserves love and compassion. And quite frankly your post is literally shaming the other person for sharing their truth, that's how it will be interpreted by them. Anyone who has common sense will interpret your post as a personal attack, not as a genuine advice. I know you didn't intend to, but hell is paved with good intentions. I can imagine the same information delivered, even in a higher quality, if you won't let being triggered control your response. There is a gap in communication here, and you can work on it. It's not entirely the OP's fault. People who are giving advice should be the ones with more understanding and more compassion, not the other way around. The receiver should show respect and give love in return. That's how the healthy dynamic looks like. It starts from you, not from the receiver.

Edited September 13, 2020 by Gesundheit

[bejapuskas]

Op has shared some very vulnerable things for them here and it is clear that they want to change and don't have any dangerous intentions. People can do many things when they feel at the absolute lowest and this section of this forum is to help them climb up from there. And that is not always done by simply telling them that they are wrong or that they are monsters, it might sound scary, but people are almost never going to do what you tell them, even if you think your words are good or true. 

On 12. 9. 2020 at 9:45 AM, VerballyHazardous said:

(i don't know how to remove all of this)

No need to remove anything. There are people who can understand you and telling them about what you've been through does not change their views on you at all, I hope you know that.

[SusieQQQQ]

17 hours ago, Keyhole said:

Last comment here, I'm too busy to be wasting my time on this particular thread it's not productive.  I've given enough advice here to help this person move forward and to protect all of you from getting into these circular drama cycles that tend to happen on this forum.

Just a note: keep calling the topic starter reaching out for help as "this person" does not show much empathy.

Years of study is not passport of understanding. Real connection starts from a place of understanding instead of labeling people as "toxic" or "low on some spectrum". 

The suggestion of therapy given from a place of compassion and from a place of shaming and isolation leads to completely different results. 

Fatherly advice is effective when the one asking for help completely trusts the coach. Not from a random person. If Leo gives this type of advice, people in this forum would find it easier to accept because we have benefited so much from his generous sharing of wisdom. But people reach out for help in this forum for advice and discussion, not for shaming under cover of honesty. 

[Roy]

On 9/12/2020 at 5:12 AM, Keyhole said:

this is not a contest

 

On 9/12/2020 at 5:12 AM, Keyhole said:

Kid I've been through 10 times worse than you have

 

On 9/12/2020 at 5:12 AM, Keyhole said:

you have absolutely no freaking clue what the hell you're talking about.

??? Do you have any awareness of how unbelievably unproductive and errant you're being in this thread with comments like this? Then to say "I'm leaving I don't care about this thread." .............only to come back and triple dip into the fire you started with gasoline lined comments?

This thread isn't about you @Keyhole. Really consider being careful about what you say to a person in his position, he already used a huge amount of courage and energy to admit some of the things he's done and to look for help.

You need to self reflect on some of your tendencies to be reactive and outburst at people when they go against your grain. Think about the fact you're even lecturing a moderator twice your age. The OP even said that he is exhausted from this and is tempted to regress back into his struggle because of the poor conversation here.

When you're confronted with a response like that from him have the tact and humility to either apologize, be more gentle, or simply leave like you said you would the first time.

I have reported you because this behavior has come from you before, and is not desirable especially in a subsection as delicate as this one.

 

Edited September 13, 2020 by Roy

[Forestluv]

Y’all, don’t turn things so sharply personal, especially when someone is reaching out for help. We all have issues we are working through. Let’s be respectful and kind to each other.
 

The OP hasn’t been on this thread for a couple days and its devolved I to personal name calling.