Disregarding "toxic" people.

[Spiral]

I see this as common advice within self-help circels. However isn't it a bit selfish to do so? I mean if people avoid them for "lesser issues" they are more likely to end up in "worse" company and go into a unsavory direction in life. 

As an example I've got a few collegues who don't pay for their public transport tickets, because due to Corona there isn't anyone checking. Now I do not approve of that behavoir and they have other habits I do not agree with. While I do not avoid them, I don't actively make an effort to spend time with them, which I do with others collegues.

What are your take on this pratice? Where do you draw the line(if you do)?

 

[Recursoinominado]

Your post smells like codependency behavior.

Toxic people are in a negative spiral, it has momentum and will drag anything with them.

Unless you are some super enlightened master who can elevate the frequency of those around you, get the fuck away.

Go work on yourself and find people who do the same.

Stop trying to save a drowning person if you yourself barely know how to swim. 

[Preety_India]

You can't afford to be around toxic people especially in intimate relationships in the hopes of improving them or saving them. 

Because toxic people are like a quagmire, a pit. You are with them, then you fall into that pit and dragged down with them. In a way they don't change at all, but end up destroying your potential as well. 

It's okay to be around them if they are not intimate with you, for example an office colleague so you spend less time with them. 

But in any case, a toxic person is always going to be a problem. 

The only solution for such people is institutional help and I have been thinking about this for the longest time. That's the word I came up with "institutional help".. Which means there should be specific institutions set up in society just to deal with them and help them change. 

 

[Breakingthewall]

3 hours ago, Preety_India said:

The only solution for such people is institutional help and I have been thinking about this for the longest time. That's the word I came up with "institutional help".

The toxic people rarely know that they are toxic! Usually they think that they are really good but the others are so bad with them...the problem is that they always find another who wants to start a toxic relationship, and get toxic together. If you are in a relationship with a toxic person, probably it's because you are toxic too

[Recursoinominado]

34 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

The toxic people rarely know that they are toxic! Usually they think that they are really good but the others are so bad with them...the problem is that they always find another who wants to start a toxic relationship, and get toxic together. If you are in a relationship with a toxic person, probably it's because you are toxic too

Yeah but there are different strategies. 

One can be toxic dominant and aggressive and the other toxic codependent and needy.

Either way, i get the fuck away from both of them.

I have met a lot of people that i consider toxic but superficially seem like the nicest person ever. 

My grandmother is like that, she puts a super nice facade, smiling, doing things for you and appear non-threatening but when she is positive she can't get what she wants from you, she will turn against you in a blink of an eye. She talks bad about X to you and bad about you to X. She is super needy, talks non-stop the first chance she gets and she gives no fucks about the other person, all she wants is someone to pay her attention at all costs. She can talk to you 1h on the phone without any need for you to say anything. Again, at first glance, she is the nicest lady ever and i am sure she believes it because she does all of that with ZERO self-awareness and self-reflection. She is literally an energy vampire and will drain your life out of you. Her life is a mess and everyone around her is a mess. This can sound harsh but, truly, i don't want to be even near her because it's ALWAYS a losing situation. 

[Yarco]

Some people are too toxic to change. There are people in my life that I've tried to bring around, but you just can't get through to them no matter how you try. Some people refuse to accept they could be wrong, or that someone else might know better than them.

I have a friend I cut off contact with 6+ months ago because they were engaging in some unhealthy/toxic behavior. My friends who are still in touch with them say they're still doing it, and the only reason they keep doing it is because they don't want to stop and prove that I was right. Literally they're sabotaging their life and making things harder on themselves just because of ego.