Samadhi? Or dissociation? plz help

[SonataAllegro]

I have near-samadhi experiences regularly where I feel deeply connected to everything I'm seeing and feeling. Specifically, when I self inquire about my sense of touch, my awareness of my "physical" body merges with my "visual" field; when I put my hand out in front of me I don't feel that it's mine, I'm just aware of it as a visual/physical phenomenon. This isn't a constant state but it feels blissful and everything Leo's spoken about seems consistent with what I'm experiencing.

BUT, I have been depressed recently and when I told my therapist about it he told me this is dissociation. I can't tell and it frustrates the hell out of me. Whenever I meditate or try to be present with something this is the state I get into and it feels amazing. At the same time though, I could be using this state to avoid emotional pain that I'm going through (my mom recently died).

What do you guys recommend? Anybody else experience this?

Much appreciated!

[Seraphim]

It's probably not dissociation because it comes with other symptoms too, and it's not blissful. I think you are having moments of non-doership, it's not Samadhi though because then there would be no thoughts and deep absorption. At some point non-doership will probably become your normal state, it's like that for me and many others on this forum, it's not a big deal and there are more awakenings waiting for you after that.

If you are depressed then work on the basics; shower, exercise, be social and so on. Of course it could be physical and you need to detox, in that case I recommend Medical Medium's advice, celery juice especially.

[Matt23]

From my understanding, dissociation is more of a numbing of emotions, thoughts, and sensations.  Like an escape from your body and feelings, which can be marked with depression, low energy, and a sort of hollowness perhaps.  But it sounds to me like during these states you're feeling blissful rather than dissociated.  I suppose it's still possible that you're using those states as an escape from certain feelings, and it could be dissociative, but it doesn't really sound dissociative from my understanding.

Also, if your therapist isn't familiar with non-duality, altered states, and spirituality, they might confuse those different states or insights for pathologies or something else.  

I recently came across this guy, Jules Evans, who does work on spiritual emergencies (he wrote a book on it, I think it's called...).  I think I heard him express a perspective that saw how the history of modern psychiatry and psychology (last 100 years or so) has demonized, pathologized, and thus mishandled, mystical states and insights.  Seeing them as negative rather than positive.  His view is that spiritual emergencies are different from psychological pathologies and issues, and that treating spiritual emergencies properly, with a positive and "allowing" sort of context, can actually help people grow enormously.  But, if they are labeled and treated as illnesses, it can really damage the person.  .....   I'm not exactly sure if that's precisely his POV on it, but it seems to me there's truth in there (also coming from personal experience/sensing as well).

Here's also a video that may help you.  It's Shinzen Young talking about how Depersonalization/Derealization is Enlightenment's ugly cousin.  One gives people profound freedom, repose, and positivity.  DP/PR is also an experience of the paper thinness of the world or emptiness, but the effect on the person has the exact opposite effect on the person to enlightenment.   Like seeing the same thing, but having either positive or negative experiences with it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zIKQCwDXsA&t=46s 

[Leo Gura]

@SonataAllegro Hard to say with so little info, but sounds to me like a normal part of the awakening process. You can have awakenings and still be depressed as it takes time for the mind to integrate your new reality. The ego-mind is rarely wiped out in one fell swoop. It tends to stick around and do its egoy things.

The early stage of realizing no-self can be especially bleak. Things brighten up once you get past that into God-realization.

[mandyjw]

@SonataAllegro You might find this video helpful, there is seeing that you are everything, radical inclusiveness, and then there is seeing what you are not which is profoundly liberating, ultimately the two are one. However you can see why it seems that you may embody one at one time more than the other. Trust your feeling, if the state feels good and it doesn't feel like escape before and after, it's healing and if taking on emotional pain head on is what's necessary it will prepare you to be ready and for that to be an experience of release and clarity rather than pain of forced problem solving. 

 

[Mu_]

@SonataAllegro  The problem with sharing these types of states with Therapists is since there's not a lot of info on spiritual awakening experiences they can be misdiagnosed as disorders and people can wrongly be put on meds and stop the process of waking up.  To me it sounds find what your experiencing so far.

[VeganAwake]

Where is the individual that would disassociate?

Find that one?

Where is it located?

What makes up this apparent individual?

[Nahm]

@SonataAllegro

So sorry to hear. Indeed you are tapping into that this place is eternal bliss, though the eyes & ears can tell a different story, and a bit of a tug of war between the mind and heart can be experienced. This can throw thought, perception & sensation for a loop, feeling that push & pull within, trying to make sense. But the real of us all is love, transcendent of the relative appearances. In thinking of the very best of any of us who have played our part and returned home, thought is aligned with the heart, the heart is easing & embracing of thought, truth & love are one, and loss can not be. The mind may listen to the eyes & ears, but the heart says here I am, with you now, eternally. We never leave, we never really come & go, we’re never truly apart in love.