the bad in no fap

[TheSomeBody]

so i started practicing no fap for something like a year and a half, i did fap but like once a month on average , sometimes i waited two or even three month.  the last week i started to masturbate daily and i think that this is much healthier than no fap. i always found myself super horney and desperate when talking to girls because of the no fap and it really distorted my preception about girls. i am looking for a relationship and all i wanted is to just go to date this any girl and than found out that i there just because i want to fuck her and not because of my will of relationship.  this week i was much more focused about the quility of personality of the girl. i feel not desparate and i am able to be myself and not worry about not getting a date.

[Leo Gura]

Definitely don't date with a loaded gun. It makes you too needy.

Girls will frustrate the fuck out of you with their flakiness. You can't ever rely on a girl to give you sex when you require it.

[TheSomeBody]

9 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Definitely don't date with a loaded gun. It makes you too needy.

Girls will frustrate the fuck out of you with their flakiness. You can't ever rely on a girl to give you sex when you require it.

the bigger problem was to lie to myself that i think the girl is matching me while in reality she wasnt (while i knew it) and i wanted just to fuck her

[How to be wise]

@TheSomeBody If you just want sex, why not hire prostitutes. There’s no shame in it. 

[TheSomeBody]

39 minutes ago, How to be wise said:

@TheSomeBody If you just want sex, why not hire prostitutes. There’s no shame in it. 

but i dont want it. i can get hookups but it makes me feel bad after

[AtheisticNonduality]

@TheSomeBody You have some Blue shadow to let go of.

[Aspiraling Wizard]

6 hours ago, TheSomeBody said:

but i dont want it. i can get hookups but it makes me feel bad after

 

5 hours ago, AtheisticNonduality said:

@TheSomeBody You have some Blue shadow to let go of.

He might to some degree but I doubt it. What he really craves is progression towards mastery of relatively lower stages of ego development but also more importantly he probably wants love, connection and deep intimacy. And of course sex itself combined with those other things. 

TheSomeBody: Be VERY careful with this bohemian worldview of there being no downside to hookups and prostitution whatsoever and that anyone who doesn't engage in either or both of those things and doesn't feel comfortable with them is some repressed Blue conformist. Depending on your current level of consciousness and development, these things may actually be legitimately unsatisfying to you(of course you always have to be mindful of bias and self deception). I've had sex with a person that I didn't really want to have sex with but did anyway because of multiple cravings/neurotic needs and not only did it not feel that good, but the whole situation ended very badly. The pursuit of sex can become very time consuming and toxic depending on the place it's coming from. You can even be taken advantage of and even hurt or killed, especially in the case of interaction with prostitutes. Prostitution is currently illegal in most developed parts of the world, not to say it necessarily should be but nevertheless it is. Careful with how you label yourself and what labels you accept from other people.

[Kshantivadin]

You can just fuck girls without "liking them". Why do you feel bad after hook-ups?

If having a loaded gun makes you needy, you're doing something wrong.

 

[TheSomeBody]

6 hours ago, AtheisticNonduality said:

@TheSomeBody You have some Blue shadow to let go of.

why blue?

3 hours ago, Aspiraling Wizard said:

 

He might to some degree but I doubt it. What he really craves is progression towards mastery of relatively lower stages of ego development but also more importantly he probably wants love, connection and deep intimacy. And of course sex itself combined with those other things. 

TheSomeBody: Be VERY careful with this bohemian worldview of there being no downside to hookups and prostitution whatsoever and that anyone who doesn't engage in either or both of those things and doesn't feel comfortable with them is some repressed Blue conformist. Depending on your current level of consciousness and development, these things may actually be legitimately unsatisfying to you(of course you always have to be mindful of bias and self deception). I've had sex with a person that I didn't really want to have sex with but did anyway because of multiple cravings/neurotic needs and not only did it not feel that good, but the whole situation ended very badly. The pursuit of sex can become very time consuming and toxic depending on the place it's coming from. You can even be taken advantage of and even hurt or killed, especially in the case of interaction with prostitutes. Prostitution is currently illegal in most developed parts of the world, not to say it necessarily should be but nevertheless it is. Careful with how you label yourself and what labels you accept from other people.

how i sound conformist?
i dont want to presuit sex i want to presuit relationship

2 hours ago, Kshantivadin said:

You can just fuck girls without "liking them". Why do you feel bad after hook-ups?

If having a loaded gun makes you needy, you're doing something wrong.

 

why? you sound like an incel coucher... i can have some feeling that comes together

 

[Danioover9000]

@TheSomeBody

On 9/6/2020 at 9:08 PM, TheSomeBody said:

why blue?

how i sound conformist?
i dont want to presuit sex i want to presuit relationship

why? you sound like an incel coucher... i can have some feeling that comes together

 

   The blue is referring to the spiral dynamics modal that Leo made a video series on. Go and watch the entire series to get a good overview of other people's psychological development and your own.

   Conformists, conservatives, republicans, traditionalists, historians, religious fundamentalists, Alt right/left like fascists, extremists, nationalists, virgins and people who tend to think in good/bad extremes have a similar thinking to you. These types of views are constrained views of relationships and sexuality, and their egos are more on their group than their own selves, which is one reason why these types have a more difficult time dating and leading other women. Also, traumas and perceived faults of women can factor in.

   Using insulting labels onto another person is one of the signs of a mind projecting it's shadow away from itself, so in this case your self identity is likely an Incel or virgin, but admitting that is the last thing your mind will do, so it calls others the things it doesn't like itself to be to not face up and integrate that part.  

[SgtPepper]

I get the opposite experience.

It's important to channel that energy into something else too and build yourself. It's not enough to just stop PMO, you have to do something else with your time, and you have to re-define women, relationships, and sex in a wholesome way. 

[Aspiraling Wizard]

On 9/6/2020 at 1:08 PM, TheSomeBody said:

why blue?

how i sound conformist?
i dont want to presuit sex i want to presuit relationship

why? you sound like an incel coucher... i can have some feeling that comes together

 

My DOOOODE, I was actually trying to help you out. Read my post again VERY carefully.

[Globalcollective]

On 06/09/2020 at 10:48 AM, TheSomeBody said:

so i started practicing no fap for something like a year and a half, i did fap but like once a month on average , sometimes i waited two or even three month.  the last week i started to masturbate daily and i think that this is much healthier than no fap. i always found myself super horney and desperate when talking to girls because of the no fap and it really distorted my preception about girls. i am looking for a relationship and all i wanted is to just go to date this any girl and than found out that i there just because i want to fuck her and not because of my will of relationship.  this week i was much more focused about the quility of personality of the girl. i feel not desparate and i am able to be myself and not worry about not getting a date.

This is super interesting I can definitely relate to this, on the one hand no fap makes me feel amazing but eventually the pendulum swings the other way and I get to horny and end up sleeping I didn't connect with or relapse. The middle ground seems to be the healthiest way, I pretty much am always on no fap and sacred to ejaculate because of the low I feel afterwards but maybe if I start doing it more I will get use to it. 

[Dodo]

On 06/09/2020 at 10:48 AM, TheSomeBody said:

so i started practicing no fap for something like a year and a half, i did fap but like once a month on average , sometimes i waited two or even three month.  the last week i started to masturbate daily and i think that this is much healthier than no fap. i always found myself super horney and desperate when talking to girls because of the no fap and it really distorted my preception about girls. i am looking for a relationship and all i wanted is to just go to date this any girl and than found out that i there just because i want to fuck her and not because of my will of relationship.  this week i was much more focused about the quility of personality of the girl. i feel not desparate and i am able to be myself and not worry about not getting a date.

bull-shit! Thats just an excuse bro. No fap is not supposed to make you horny-er, if you do the energetic practices that you are supposed to do together with nofap you will not be this needy guy. I was needy when I was fapping bro, now I am improving so much. Nofap actually gives you the confidence to NOT be needy. Bro please look up some nofap masters on youtube and do it the right way! 

If anything, you need to have a "Do-nothing" meditation where you just become aware of your body and become all sensations (important thing is that you're not in your mind - the mind is the one who makes you horny) In Do-nothing meditation you allow your energies to float about your body freely and you will not have all that energy in your dick area !! 

Your root chakra needs healing. Dont bullshit yourself, I havent seen a single problem with nofap. Fapping is an addiction and I can tell you i am one of the biggest addicts, so I can tell you from experience that nofap together with the right practices is absolutely fantastic. I am able to see a beautiful girl and not objectify her. I think about sex LESS. Im on day 12, I'll report if there is a change. 

It's all in your mind. Do not blame nofap for your failure to cut the root of the thoughts that lead you to desire. 
PS: Not saying that you cant get horny, I would just say your standards for becoming horny get higher. 

Edited September 12, 2020 by Dodo

[Dodo]

On 06/09/2020 at 10:48 AM, TheSomeBody said:

i always found myself super horney and desperate when talking to girls because of the no fap and it really distorted my preception about girls.

ITS THE FAPPING that is distorting your perception bro!! By fapping you are telling your system that you are sleeping with a girl every day when in fact you're not. So you will be satisfied with a fantasy. Dont waste your life force energy dawg, channel it, use it for enlightenment. Combine this with the stuff in the Consciousness/Spirituality section of this forum. 

Lets be real men. I applaud your try with nofap, but wish you would try again and follow some better guidance perhaps. You have to involve some spiritual practice thats for sure (if you want real results). This sex addiction might be a strong beast, but you are stronger, trust me 

Here's a good video 

 

Here's a 3 hour video if you really want the deep shit and to really start reprogramming that mind : 

 

Edited September 13, 2020 by Dodo