My porn and masturbation addiction

[mountain876]

PLEASE I NEED ASAP HELP!

I have been addicted to porn and masturbation for the last two years and I need serious advice on how to combat it. I have listened to Leos advice on sitting sitting still for halve an hour a day but today I sadly relapsed. I will expand on that, I had not watched porn for a couple months but had been masturbating using my imagination and sometimes looking at attractive girls on Instagram. I only tried to stop masturbating recently and have been failing my attempts. Recently I have been sitting alone in a room for a 30 min a day on and off. For some reason today I had the strongest urge to watch porn. Please can anyone give me advice on how to break this addiction. Also should I stop masturbating because apparently it has benefits however when I masturbate I lose motivation for everyday tasks.

 

[BjarkeT]

Why not just do it as late as possible? Then it won't affect the daily task. I don't see what's bad about masturbation except if you overdo it.

[mountain876]

Porn is bad for your brain and masturbation ruins my motivation, but masturbation and porn goes together

[mountain876]

If I masturbate I think about porn which draws me back to porn

[Yahya]

I went through the exact same process as you. This is a really hard addiction to give up. It will be difficult. Let me help you remove it. First, find out the reason why you are masturbating. Then take an action based on it. E.g. For me, the reason was that I didn't have intimacy with any girl so I went to have intimacy which stops me from masturbating.

[BjarkeT]

Maybe it’s the guilt that comes from doing something you know is bad for you but do it anyways which then makes you lose motivation. I don’t feel any guilt from doing it myself so I don’t lose motivation.

[mountain876]

@Yahya How do I find out the reason

[mountain876]

@BjarkeT It has negative effects on your brain

[BjarkeT]

@mountain876 yeah i know you already mentioned it.

[Nahm]

5 hours ago, mountain876 said:

@BjarkeT It has negative effects on your brain

Let that belief go. You’ll feel the resistance to argue this point at first. Don’t react to it, don’t argue for it, just be aware of the resistance and let reacting go. This is where your developed ability to sit non-reactionaly comes to bat for you. Rather than reacting, just sit and be aware of the reaction. Some feelings will arise, but don’t react, just sit breathe, relax, and keep focusing on what you’re seeing & hearing. Allow the feeling of the feeling, don’t resist or judge it. The mind tends to ‘go into a thought story’ - and you’ll witness this - but remain present in breathing, feeling, seeing and hearing. 

5 hours ago, mountain876 said:

@Yahya How do I find out the reason

After ‘sitting’, the feelings will come up & out and have passed. Then you will have more clarity regarding the feelings that you’ve been avoiding & masking with the activity / distraction of porn...because you just experienced the feelings.  

It ultimately not the porn or the wasted time or the missed opportunities which actually feels bad. Only the judgment of yourself. Again, to make a case that it is the porn which is the problem, is giving your power away. By sitting and essentially doing nothing, you are empowering yourself. 

14 hours ago, mountain876 said:

For some reason today I had the strongest urge to watch porn.

Next time you experience that...choose to experience non-porn, non-reaction. Be curious what that experience is like. Be brave and willing to feel the reaction internally, without reacting externally, in behavior. .  

[mountain876]

@Nahm  How often should I sit by myself in silence

[Roy]

Try a simple reduction method with your calendar, literally mark it down.

Give yourself permission to masturbate. But ONLY once per day on the allotted number of days. Try to only use porn every other day on the days you allow yourself to masturbate.

Week 1 - 7 Days

Week 2 - 6 Days

Week 3 - 5 Days

Week 4 - 4 Days 

Week 5 - 3 Days

Week 6 - 2 Days

Week 7 - 1 Day

Week 8  - 0 Days

This 2 months will give you plenty of time to slowly adjust and adapt your body and sex drive. As you complete each week and you gradually ween the frequency off, you will find you are much more capable and have a lot more willpower than you believe you do.

Quitting cold turkey is simply not possible for 9/10 people trying to deal with any addiction. Don't be ashamed if you aren't apart of the small exception.

Seriously give this a try. I know you can do it @mountain876!

 

Edited September 6, 2020 by Roy

[mountain876]

Thank you so much

[Nahm]

8 hours ago, mountain876 said:

@Nahm  How often should I sit by myself in silence

Start with maybe ten minutes, two or three times a day. The point of it is to recognize & be familiar with sitting peacefully and relaxing. Then when the impulse & emotion arises, you can relax and see that it comes and goes. To think to much about it, or make a practice etc. Just relax.