I want to kill myself.

[Bulgarianspirit]

10 hours ago, dflores321 said:

@INIT knowing your true self won't change a thing, because you have always been your true self. This is actually beautiful,  now you're seeing what is painful more clearly within your awareness. This gives space for healing and opening of the heart/love. Before you wanted to change to escape reality, now you will change because that's all there really is to do, unless you want to stay miserable that's also fine. 

Trust me man, you will get all that you want in life I promise, one day in the future you'll laugh at these times, as you've always been in your own arms, guiding yourself. 

I do get it, it's tough because it takes a certain level of maturity to stop the ego game of being suicidal (as long as it's not a physical brain deficiency). I've definitely gotten into that pattern before. You won't kill yourself, you will wise up to the fact that life must be lived totally. 

You got this! 

 

Meh knowing it's all my fault, because i'm god makes me more disappointed than anything... Why would i do this to myself... Ahh it doesn't really matter this dream will end soon anyway it's been nothing but a disappointment.

[No Self]

2 minutes ago, Bulgarianspirit said:

Meh knowing it's all my fault, because i'm god makes me more disappointed than anything... Why would i do this to myself... Ahh it doesn't really matter this dream will end soon anyway it's been nothing but a disappointment.

Who is this 'me'? Doesn't really sound like God.

[Bulgarianspirit]

I inhabit this meat suit, temporarily. 

I was out of body so many times. Misery and psychological pain can also make the soul want to leave, but i always come back, because i leave the body intact, one day the body will rot, the spirit will fly away

I have contemplated suicide hundreds of times,  I dont see a point in this hell anymore.

The God I am probably got bored, decided to go through hell idk.

But i am tired of this game, there is no love here, no purpose nothing.

I know what I am i don't care even if i die tomorrow.

I was offered death on a pedestal, yet when my soul flew away it remembered it's identification oww I remember a human life and i came back...

Dammit

It is why i reply to this topic, i feel the same way as the author. But knowing i can't really die... killing myself is also pointless.

Edited October 4, 2020 by Bulgarianspirit

[No Self]

Many people can relate if they are honest. People usually feel pressured to act upbeat so we don't get the true picture. Then, along comes the Buddha and bluntly states, "All life is suffering."

The wisest thing to do is to use this life to pursue freedom. The sensations in the body and the tragic stories told by the mind have nothing to do with you. It only appears so. Kill what is false by exposing its non-existence.

 

[Member]

26 minutes ago, Bulgarianspirit said:

I inhabit this meat suit, temporarily. 

I was out of body so many times [...] because i leave the body intact, one day the body will rot, the spirit will fly away

The God I am probably got bored, decided to go through hell idk.

But i am tired of this game, there is no love here, no purpose nothing.

I know what I am i don't care even if i die tomorrow.

"Meats suit", "temporarily", "soul out of body" is dualism. Maybe you should "know thyself" better because it doesn't sound like you know what God consciousness is.

[Bulgarianspirit]

19 minutes ago, Member said:

"Meats suit", "temporarily", "soul out of body" is dualism. Maybe you should "know thyself" better because it doesn't sound like you know what God consciousness is.

Absolute nothingness, The void being conscious... It is weird to explain it with words... Basically it is a game god plays with itself, souls meat suits etc.

That state is just being. No feelings, no suffering, no self just is. Not even bliss.

Any feeling, perception and label is just a part of the illusion of duality.

For me this is not a competition per say. Im only arguing with myself. This thing we are... The nothingness managed to imagine it is souls, then meat suits. I think it's even more complicated but with over 50 trips behind me i'm not in a competition who is more enlightened or not. 

I'm merely arguing with myself anyways. Suffering is also an illusion, everything is. Including happiness and love. You need other and a world to experience these things xDD

Most people wouldn't be on this forum, if they were happy before hand. In fact if they had just a semblance of what they want in life they wouldn't pursue spirituality.

I know this life won't make me happy and i know there is nothing in this life which has any meaning. People leave. Circumstances change, you can't keep anything, the only constants seem to be loneliness and change. So i don't really care either way. I don't even care that i'm god, as i can't change anything yet

it is in this i find my prepation to truly let go of the self in death.

Edited October 4, 2020 by Bulgarianspirit

[Member]

14 minutes ago, Bulgarianspirit said:

That state is just being. No feelings, no suffering, no self just is. Not even bliss.

Any feeling, perception and label is just a part of the illusion of duality.

Existential nihilism will lead you to nowhere. Living or being has nothing to do with death

Just to cheer you guys up, I thought that this clip is funny. PS. Don't forget to live

[Bulgarianspirit]

3 minutes ago, Member said:

Existential nihilism will lead you to nowhere. Living or being has nothing to do with death

Just to cheer you guys up, I thought that this clip is funny. PS. Don't forget to live

Ermm i was just describing the state, no connection to nihilism. You make your own meaning

[Member]

@Bulgarianspirit The no-state isn't a state, it isn't even being. Death is not a solution for the problems caused by 'meatbags' or souls trapped inside a 'meatbag'. There is no pure existence beyond death. You either get reborn and experience this world of suffering again until you learn your lessons, or you may be trapped inside another world created by your indestructible soul. Anyway, if you're a materialist, then yes, death is the end. But I guess you guys aren't, otherwise you wouldn't be here talking about being more than a human.

[Someone here]

13 hours ago, INIT said:

@Bulgarianspirit i am aware of who i am. 

Can't happen. You can't know who you are because the knower and the known are one. You can just be what you are. And the irony is there is no you In the middle of this whole thing. 

[Bulgarianspirit]

6 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Can't happen. You can't know who you are because the knower and the known are one. You can just be what you are. And the irony is there is no you In the middle of this whole thing. 

Yes you are literally nothing, vapor, it's really hard to explain in words how nothingness can appear as a mind or as something. This does it better than me

It is difficult to be "myself"

Everytime i wake up, everytime i think i am a me i become this meat sack ;D

And survival keeps you in the illusion.

 

Edited October 4, 2020 by Bulgarianspirit

[Someone here]

@Bulgarianspirit lol this lady is fucking awesome, 

[Member]

I prefer this blonde

 

[Bulgarianspirit]

1 hour ago, Member said:

I prefer this blonde

 

Yeah i think this forum focuses only the absolute, but i have experienced both higher selves, the soul and the absolute. Within creation both are necessary vehicles for holding consciousness, while the absolute is literally the mind holding creation within itself.

[INIT]

On 10/5/2020 at 11:38 PM, neutralempty said:

@INIT What's the situation? What makes you feel like quitting?

i want to know what death is

[UnconsciousBastard]

Its ok to feel bad, stop chasing feeling good embrace the way you are , don't resist it and it will fade away ,

[UnconsciousBastard]

I'm also curious about death and it doesn't sound like a bad option for me at all, I can completely understand that desire for people who suffer all day.
But when you understand that you are not the mind, when you can just turn the machine off and see it as a movie player you can instantly find peace.
the mind is just a bla bla bla machine, the contents doesn't really matter .
i'l give you easy way for enlightenment.
Ask yourself why do I feel bad ? -- answer
then ask why is it bad ? who said this is a bad thing?
question your assumptions and question your answers. the more questions the better.
the final answer is I don't know. at this place you find peace.
then if u wanna play the game of life you can, it involves joy and suffering which are interlinked but you will realise its just a game.
I suffered depression for years, I just don't take life seriously now so when I have chains of bad thoughts I don't take them seriously they are just thoughts they have no meaning.

Edited October 14, 2020 by UnconsciousBastard

[bejapuskas]

@INIT  Stop taking life so seriously  

[evgn]

11 hours ago, UnconsciousBastard said:

I'm also curious about death and it doesn't sound like a bad option for me at all, I can completely understand that desire for people who suffer all day.
But when you understand that you are not the mind, when you can just turn the machine off and see it as a movie player you can instantly find peace.
the mind is just a bla bla bla machine, the contents doesn't really matter .
i'l give you easy way for enlightenment.
Ask yourself why do I feel bad ? -- answer
then ask why is it bad ? who said this is a bad thing?
question your assumptions and question your answers. the more questions the better.
the final answer is I don't know. at this place you find peace.
then if u wanna play the game of life you can, it involves joy and suffering which are interlinked but you will realise its just a game.
I suffered depression for years, I just don't take life seriously now so when I have chains of bad thoughts I don't take them seriously they are just thoughts they have no meaning.

 

12 hours ago, UnconsciousBastard said:

Its ok to feel bad, stop chasing feeling good embrace the way you are , don't resist it and it will fade away ,

Thank you for your insights man

[No Self]

The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism are stated in simple terms as:

1. Suffering, pain, and misery exist in life
2. Suffering arises from attachment to desires
3. Suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases
4. Freedom from suffering is possible by practicing the Eightfold Path

https://www.school-for-champions.com/religion/buddhism_four_noble_truths.htm#.X4lSF-bivb0