I want to kill myself.

[No Self]

Just now, evgn said:

I am in a very bad emotionall state right now, maybe the worst i have had in my life.

I am restless and cannot sit still. I have OCD and suicidel thoughts are in abundance these couple of months and especially this current week. I think that i am going crazy and started take some pills to dull my mind, they are without a prescription so i guess they are not something serios.

I dont want to kill myself because i am very attached to my friends and people i know and also where would i go? I think that i will end up back here so what is the point of suicide. I dont know what to do every day for me is a challenge..

Your best bet would be to see your doctor. This is entirely treatable.

[evgn]

5 minutes ago, No Self said:

Your best bet would be to see your doctor. This is entirely treatable.

I went to psychyatrist two times and i saw that is complete waste of time.. Maybe the one that i was visiting wasnt good enough or i am just a mess that cannot be helped..

My brother has had some glimpses of the truth and he is giving me hope and really help me when i talk to him but we are not leaving togheter so i  will go visit him today.

Edited October 2, 2020 by evgn

[evgn]

My mood is either really high or really low, the high periods are very short and they give me hope that i can go out from this pit.

Ive been in this dark hole for almost 10 years.

[Someone here]

@evgn

29 minutes ago, evgn said:

I am in a very bad emotionall state right now, maybe the worst i have had in my life.

I am restless and cannot sit still. I have OCD and suicidel thoughts are in abundance these couple of months and especially this current week. I think that i am going crazy and started take some pills to dull my mind, they are without a prescription so i guess they are not something serios.

I dont want to kill myself because i am very attached to my friends and people i know and also where would i go? I think that i will end up back here so what is the point of suicide. I dont know what to do every day for me is a challenge..

I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL.... 

Consider there is no you who is going through this. It's all just happening. If you don't interfere it will naturally subside as it naturally arose. 

 

Edited October 2, 2020 by Someone here

[No Self]

5 minutes ago, evgn said:

My mood is either really high or really low, the high periods are very short and they give me hope that i can go out from this pit.

Ive been in this dark hole for almost 10 years.

If it is manic depressive disorder (I've had several friends with it), there is medication that moderates the swings, but of course it needs to be correctly diagnosed first. 

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/bipolar-disorder/index.shtml

I'm not sure if you'd be able to 'spiritual bypass' this, so I'd prioritise treatment even at the same time as spiritual studies.

[Someone here]

Well it depends if one is seeking actual solutions to the core issues. You can visit psychiatrists and spend years trying to cure a self that doesn't exist or you can just identify yourself correctly and have no illnesses if not for the misconceptions. 

Edited October 2, 2020 by Someone here

[evgn]

9 minutes ago, No Self said:

If it is manic depressive disorder (I've had several friends with it), there is medication that moderates the swings, but of course it needs to be correctly diagnosed first. 

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/bipolar-disorder/index.shtml

I'm not sure if you'd be able to 'spiritual bypass' this, so I'd prioritise treatment even at the same time as spiritual studies.

I thing that is posible that i have bipolar and OCD at the same time because i find a lot of symptoms in me from both illnes

[No Self]

2 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Well it depends if one is seeking actual soultions to the core issues. You can visit psychiatrists and spend years trying to cure a self that doesn't exist or you can just identify yourself correctly and have no illnesses if not for the misconceptions. 

This is ultimately true, but it may not be the best approach in practice.

If somebody fell and broke a leg, is the solution to take them to hospital, or to tell them to stop identifying with the body?

[No Self]

5 minutes ago, evgn said:

I thing that is posible that i have bipolar and OCD at the same time because i find a lot of symptoms in me from both illnes

Maybe, but trying to diagnose yourself is only going to add to your stress and frustration. Please find a top psychiatrist and get the medication and support you need.

[Member]

The nightmare or hell is a creation of the collective mind. People saying that 'everything is the way it is' can only encourage more suffering, diseases and death.

[Someone here]

30 minutes ago, No Self said:

This is ultimately true, but it may not be the best approach in practice.

If somebody fell and broke a leg, is the solution to take them to hospital, or to tell them to stop identifying with the body?

Go to the hospital lol. 

It's much more  difficult to see how you are not the body. Generally speaking. It's easier to recognize this identity confusion in terms of mental processes.  Misidentifying as "I have OCD". This all basically just a limited belief.  What is OCD really?  Compulsive thoughts? . The nature of thoughts is to be compulsive. So it's not really an illness to be cured just as an example. If you recognize thoughts arise and go but you are identified with awareness instead of the "I" thought the OCD will cease to be because it was just a misidentifying error.  But then again you can spend years going nuts trying to fix a self that doesn't exist which will actually only backfire and create more giltches in your mind. It's up to "You" I guess. 

 

Edited October 2, 2020 by Someone here

[No Self]

11 minutes ago, Someone here said:

But then again you can spend years going nuts trying to fix a self that doesn't exist

Yes, but what we call mental illness can have a physical component, to do with serotonin in the brain and all that. Mental illness just tends to get stigmatised more, or people gaining less sympathy because it is believed that they should just snap out of it.

Given the seriousness of someone on the verge of self-harm, it would be best to approach it at the physical/medical level as well as doing the spiritual work of disidentifying from the false self. So we can both be 'right'.

[Someone here]

@No Self true that . 

So you keep giving practical advice and i keep viewing it as an opportunity to awakening lol. 

Eckhart Tolle's awakening experience comes to mind. 

 

[bejapuskas]

@evgn  About OCD, you can talk to me. I think I am able to guess what you are going through right now. Also feel free to create your own thread about your issues so that the OP and you don't get too confused about two people's problems being discussed in one place  

[No Self]

4 hours ago, Someone here said:

Eckhart Tolle's awakening experience comes to mind. 

Ramana Maharshi's awakening happened during a panic attack also. But unfortunately, the remaining 99.999999% of people experiencing mental health calamities do not experience awakening out of it. 

[Bulgarianspirit]

This is about the fact that you aren't the body... You could be a soul that came here to experience this and on the absolute level it is certain you are god experiencing yourself...

So you might feel bad after dying..especially knowing you can't really die and you just threw away a body you inhabited for no reason...

You might also remember why you came here. Then you might come back in a similiar situation. 

I have also thought about suicide, but finding god, going out of body etc

I understood the consciousness that is the real me can't die.

So for real think about it. What if your consciousness is immortal?

[INIT]

On 10/2/2020 at 1:03 PM, Someone here said:

@INIT you don't exist. 

Did before you die.  It's gonna be  such a pain in the ass trust me when you discover that you never existed in the first place. But when you come out to the other side.. Trust me your whole life will never be the same again. But you have to be sincere and kill yourself alive completely. 

Thats one way of saying it. 

You could also say that I do exist, i am the only thing that does exist and the only thing that will ever exist. And no, not me in terms of this body/mind lol.

 

[INIT]

@Bulgarianspirit i am aware of who i am. 

Knowing who you are will not change the circumstances you are in, nor will it change the people around you. it will only change you personally. My ego is currently undergoing the process of radically changing but is also realizing how fucking dangerous that is considering where i am from. 

 

[No Self]

21 minutes ago, INIT said:

@Bulgarianspirit i am aware of who i am. 

Knowing who you are will not change the circumstances you are in, nor will it change the people around you. it will only change you personally. My ego is currently undergoing the process of radically changing but is also realizing how fucking dangerous that is considering where i am from. 

 

It sounds like you are doing good work in exposing what is true. Remember that fear can only come from the false mind-made self. Do not worry about circumstances unless there is some practical action you can take.

"Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God."

[bejapuskas]

10 hours ago, INIT said:

Knowing who you are will not change the circumstances you are in, nor will it change the people around you. it will only change you personally. My ego is currently undergoing the process of radically changing but is also realizing how fucking dangerous that is considering where i am from. 

Being who you are isn't inherently dangerous. The world where everyone is who they are and the world where everyone thinks they are not who they are is the exact same world. Looking for truth is not looking for one specific thing, see it as looking for that which is true, whatever that is, if you have a destination that you want to arrive at and also want to arrive at truth, you are split. Is there a truth or is there not any truth?