How do you deal with someone who is trying to provoke you?

[Megan Alecia]

As consciously as one can? 

I find that I get highly stressed in these situations. Like when someone tries to anger me, make me their enemy, create drama and high tension environments. 

Have you ever encounteredwith these before? How did you deal with these kinds (I'm sure they're everywhere...) without losing one's... mind I suppose. (Guaranteed it can get that bad :/).

Edited September 2, 2020 by Megan Alecia

[Farnaby]

@Megan Alecia in a sense, you can only feel provoked if you're identified with your ego. 

If you are identified with what you truly are (pure awareness) there is no one/nothing that can get triggered. 

Yet, it feels real. So, IMO a practical solution to this is letting your body process what you're feeling and just be aware of it, without judging it or reacting from that place of hurt. Our body processes emotions very fast if we let it and don't add thought stories to it. This is easier said than done, but in my experience reacting when you're hurt only creates more problems. 

Once you feel centered and grounded again, you can try to communicate to this person how you felt. Preferably when you sense this person is calm and you both can talk without other people around. Their reaction is out of your control, but it will help you know what kind of relationship you can expect to have with this person.

Good luck, I'm also working on this myself ?

 

[Gesundheit]

I don't let others have that frame in the first place to the best of my abilities. The moment you submit to the frame of trigger vs victim, you've already lost the battle. Well, not quite. You can always use attack as a defence. Instead of waiting for them to trigger you, start it yourself, try to trigger them. And if you forget and then catch up later, play it cool and return their triggers onto them.

But anyway, the only reason anyone can get triggered is ego. And the only true way out is awareness. Examine what exactly you are afraid of when someone throws some shit onto you. And let go... You can practice that at any time.

[Guest SirVladimir]

@Megan Alecia Love! Overcome your animalistic instinct to shout back. Forgive them their ignorance. Heal their wound. Overwhelm them with love. Don't play the game on their level.

[kag101]

It would be helpful to know more detail about your situation.

I usually try to cut ties with the person. If s/he is too close, I limit how much time I spend with him/er.

Remember: Being loving ≠ being a pushover

Setting boundaries & being assertive is essential for all individuals who want to truly self-actualize! `

Edited September 3, 2020 by kag101

[Megan Alecia]

@BlackMaze Thanks, love the part of not knowing what the person has been through..

[Megan Alecia]

@Farnaby Thanks. The body processing thing is interesting 

[Megan Alecia]

@SirVladimir  Overcome, yes that is the keyword haha! Thanks. 

[diamondpenguin]

Too many traps to take your money out there. Social media may lead to depression. Except YouTube it's fun