My perfect imperfections

[nistake]

I already have a (physical) journal, but I thought I'd be a good idea to create a thread for my random thoughts. So here it is.

[nistake]

This morning during meditation I returned to focusing on the breath. My sessions went a lot smoother and my awareness didn't fade into dullness. I'll continue meditating this way. Maybe I'll spice it up with some self-inquiry at the end, but that's it.

Also, I should find the time to properly contemplate some stuff. Free will, non-duality, self vs others, etc.

[nistake]

Yesterday I didn't have enough patience and energy to continue my paid course on Substance Painter (3D texturing software).

Found a really great video about non-duality, a few things have been clarified. So much to contemplate.

[nistake]

I did pretty good yesterday. Managed to set aside some time for the Substance Painter course. I also wrote a page in my physical journal, meditated and did a WHM breathing session in the evening.

This weekend's gonna be a sort of dopamine detox weekend. Only meditation, journaling, contemplation and any work related to 3D are allowed. Looking forward to it.

[nistake]

Last weekend was great. I could stay productive and learned quite a bit. Also journaled and meditated. Easy and simple. That's how I like it.

Also, going through some sort of ego backlash. Feeling a bit depressed, my mood is not great at all, feeling some anger and impatience. Maybe the reason is that I've been contemplating my current growth-process and the direction I'm going. I came to the conclusion that I can't really relate to my buddies and co-workers. My family totally understands my situation and supports me and I'm really grateful for that. But on the friends/social-circle/co-workers front, it seems kinda hopeless right now. I'm not interested in drinking, rumors, complaining, mindless chatters about shallow things and in materialism in general. I'm not judging them and I don't think I'm above them either. It's just I'm heavily involved in self-development and spirituality and growing. They are not. Not even a little bit. I feel like we don't have anything in common anymore.

Maybe this is just a phase and it'll pass, who knows. But one thing is for sure: I'm gonna keep growing and learning and chances are they're gonna stay the same.

[nistake]

My health

My mom

Work (even if I don't like it)

Clean, fresh water

My PC

[nistake]

Tea

English language

My car

My boss

Weekends

[nistake]

Music

My bike

My dad

Money

Weather

[nistake]

Spotify

Dani

Youtube

Zsolti

Books

[nistake]

Non-duality teachers

Female colleagues

Clothes

Journaling

Warm weather

[nistake]

My sister

Mindfulness

Jaynam / Grant Abbit

Leo

Headphones

[nistake]

"When you go out into the woods, and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn't get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don't get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree.

The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying 'You are too this, or I'm too this.' That judgment mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are."

Holy shit, this quote from Ram Dass is so spot on.

 

[nistake]

I've decided to do one month of concentration practise (5 minutes) before my regular meditation sessions. Let's do it.

If it goes well, I'll increase it to 10 minutes.

[nistake]

Concentration: ✅

Meditation: ✅

Stretch: ✅

3D work: ✅

Edited October 16, 2020 by nistake

[nistake]

Concentration: ✅

Meditation: ✅

Stretch: ✅

3D work: ✅

Wim Hof Method: ✅

[nistake]

Started doing WHM again. I'm glad I did, it's especially important these times. Also, it feels good. I can hold the 1-1.5-1.5 minutes quite well.

[nistake]

• Let's say there's a really big (infinite, I should say) shop where you can only buy glasses. Every glass is different. Some are more colorful, some are smaller, some are bigger. Infinite variations basically. Now let's say somebody knocks over one of the glasses. It falls to the ground and it breaks to a hundred pieces. Now matter how colorful or beautiful this glass was, it ends up in pieces. However, there was never a "glass" in the first place. It always consisted of air, sand, heat and other materials. Therefore, that particular glass may be gone, but in actuality, that glass didn't have a begining and or an end.

• We're here to learn and to build a better place. Besides that, it's pretty much meaningless.