Toxic femininity, anyone?

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

Oh boy, this will probably sound like a goddarn troll post , but I am genuinely curious about this.

We've all heard a lot about so-called toxic masculinity (a term that I personally don't like, but for the sake of simplicity, let's just stick with it) during the past couple of years. Now, I think of masculinity and femininity as two complementary sides of the same coin, two faces of the same divine energy which is the life force of the universe itself. So if there is such a thing as toxic masculinity and femininity & masculinity are indeed complementary, there surely has got to be such a thing as 'toxic femininity' as well, right? I mean, how could it be otherwise?

So my question is: Do you guys think that toxic femininity is a thing? And if so, then how does it look and what are examples of it?

(Let' try to keep this civil, boys and girls... no shoving, no spitting and no scratching, alright?)

[Farnaby]

@Bazooka Jesus yes, maybe "toxic femininity" is not the best word, but IMO there are definitely behaviors stemming from women that separate us instead of increasing compassion, understanding and equality. 

[Gesundheit]

Health and toxicity are purely arbitrary when it comes to psychology. People who use such terms are either deluded or trying to control and manipulate others.

[mandyjw]

Not trusting in one's own intuition and wisdom, lack of self worth and trust in one's self, indecisive, always defers to others and always follows cultural, familial norms, victim mentality.  

[Gesundheit]

1 minute ago, mandyjw said:

Not trusting in one's own intuition and wisdom, lack of self worth and trust in one's self, indecisive, always defers to others and always follows cultural, familial norms, victim mentality.  

Aka, fearful.

[Alyosha]

yes women can be incredibly toxic lol. It just isn't as popular to point it out because of the culture wars 

[mandyjw]

Just now, Gesundheit said:

Aka, fearful.

Yep. Also maybe toxic masculinity and toxic femininity are codependent. Not really sure there is such a thing as toxic masculinity or femininity though, "misunderstood" might be a better word choice. 

[Gesundheit]

3 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

Yep. Also maybe toxic masculinity and toxic femininity are codependent. Not really sure there is such a thing as toxic masculinity or femininity though, "misunderstood" might be a better word choice. 

Interdependent coping mechanisms.

Edited August 30, 2020 by Gesundheit

[Moon]

[Farnaby]

@mandyjw yeah I agree, misunderstood is a better word. 

@Gesundheit what do you mean by those being arbitrary? Don't you think there are some attitudes that promote healthier relationships than others?

[Gesundheit]

46 minutes ago, Farnaby said:

@mandyjw 

@Gesundheit what do you mean by those being arbitrary? Don't you think there are some attitudes that promote healthier relationships than others?

It depends on how you define healthier relationships.

What is a healthy relationship? Is it a universal or a personal thing? If it's personal, then what's healthy exactly in each moment of the relationship? Consider that reality itself is not static, let alone the relationship.

And yet we still have the question unanswered: What is health? Is it positive emotions? Is it success? Is it a very long-term relationship? Is it marriage? Is it having kids? Is it staying together until death? What is it, really?

Edited August 30, 2020 by Gesundheit

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

1 hour ago, mandyjw said:

Not trusting in one's own intuition and wisdom, lack of self worth and trust in one's self, indecisive, always defers to others and always follows cultural, familial norms, victim mentality.  

Hmmm, okay, interesting. This would suggest that toxic femininity (god, how ridiculous this term sounds, lol) is largely about aggression against yourself, unless it manifests as manipulative behaviour (whereas toxic masculinity is usually portrayed as aggression against others). Do you agree with that assessment?

[Farnaby]

@Gesundheit for me a healthy relationship is respectful, with honest communication, willingness to get on the same page instead of creating more barriers, both people working on their self-development so the ego gets less and less in the way, etc. 

So in this sense, IMO there are behaviors and attitudes that promote this and others that make this more difficult. 

[soos_mite_ah]

I immediately thought of this video. It's really good in articulating toxic femininity in a way that it doesn't seem like it's trolling. 

Karine Alourde's entire channel is a pretty good femininity channel because she recognizes the different forms femininity  can take according to culture and personality and she doesn't turn femininity into a dogma, a hypergamous mess, or this notion of being a pretty, perfect wife and mother. I would recommend her channel for both men and women when it comes to embracing femininity. 

[Leo Gura]

There are some radical feminists who take feminism too far by turning it into an extreme Green ideology.

But this is much rarer than toxic masculinity.

[Alyosha]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

There are some radical feminists who take feminism too far by turning it into an extreme Green ideology.

But this is much rarer than toxic masculinity.

I must be hitting the lottery, because I see it more often than "rare" 

[Gesundheit]

1 hour ago, Farnaby said:

@Gesundheit for me a healthy relationship is respectful, with honest communication, willingness to get on the same page instead of creating more barriers, both people working on their self-development so the ego gets less and less in the way, etc. 

So in this sense, IMO there are behaviors and attitudes that promote this and others that make this more difficult. 

So, say that the sex life suck even if you're both seriously working at it, would you still consider that a healthy relationship?

[Farnaby]

@Gesundheit it depends how important sex is for that couple, but there's no perfect relationship so if everything else is fine it would be healthier than your average relationship.

Maybe the problem is working seriously at it as if something is wrong ?

But I was actually thinking about human relationships in general, not only couples. 

 

[Gesundheit]

@Farnaby I still don't see what's healthier about that kind of relationship though. You did not give a definition for health. I would call those things you mentioned your desires out of human connection, but none of that would qualify as healthy or unhealthy in my view.

[Danioover9000]

@Bazooka Jesus

3 hours ago, Bazooka Jesus said:

Oh boy, this will probably sound like a goddarn troll post , but I am genuinely curious about this.

We've all heard a lot about so-called toxic masculinity (a term that I personally don't like, but for the sake of simplicity, let's just stick with it) during the past couple of years. Now, I think of masculinity and femininity as two complementary sides of the same coin, two faces of the same divine energy which is the life force of the universe itself. So if there is such a thing as toxic masculinity and femininity & masculinity are indeed complementary, there surely has got to be such a thing as 'toxic femininity' as well, right? I mean, how could it be otherwise?

So my question is: Do you guys think that toxic femininity is a thing? And if so, then how does it look and what are examples of it?

(Let' try to keep this civil, boys and girls... no shoving, no spitting and no scratching, alright?)

   It's a thing for sure, but it's not as popular as toxic masculinity, as that movement is more showy than the radical feminists. My girlfriend is extremely feminine, and usually subjects me to make up and hairstyle changes before , but otherwise it's a cool relationship that I consider more feminine than the average feminine types out there.