Interview with a guy that spent $8000 on PUA coaching & still got 0 results

[Lyubov]

Haven't finished it yet but it highlights a lot of the traps found in pick up. I may be beating a dead horse here cause this is pointed out all the time here but it's a fresh take to hear it directly from a normal guy/customer. So far it's a pretty interesting interview. Dr.K is bewildered by some of the pick up stuff but he isn't judgemental. 

I'm noticing a trend of guys who seem to be on the autism spectrum and having problems with the initial attraction phase of dating and getting dates. I feel sad for these guys cause I think they have it more difficult initially when it comes to meeting girls. 

Edited August 29, 2020 by Lyubov

[Globalcollective]

Edited August 29, 2020 by Globalcollective

[Recursoinominado]

100% his fault for 0 results.

[Lyubov]

1 hour ago, Recursoinominado said:

100% his fault for 0 results.

true, but that's not the point 

[Alyosha]

Didn't watch it, but I think the problem is the paradigm. Treating it like this huge obstacle that needs to be paid for to understand. It ironically creates a mental block.  

[Lyubov]

27 minutes ago, Alyosha said:

Didn't watch it, but I think the problem is the paradigm. Treating it like this huge obstacle that needs to be paid for to understand. It ironically creates a mental block.  

also an environment ripe for scamming ignorant people with low self awareness

[ColeMC01]

@Recursoinominado Could you please elaborate? 

[Lyubov]

1 hour ago, Keyhole said:

Awwww, I wanna give him a hug.  Hope he finds someone, he has a very gentle face.

He reminds me of my fellow autistic friend.  He was able to get girls sometimes.  Was a little harder for him.

Perhaps just social skills classes mixed with one of those singles adventure clubs would work better for him?

Women would have a chance to get to know him better in a more dynamic setting.

(Someone should reach out and suggest that, group singles events would be better for awkward people. Pick up relies on too little time to develop rapport.)

people who may have an autistic mindset may have problems making friends and could also be targets for bullying as well which only adds another layer to making it more difficult if you've been subjected to that kind of treatment growing up. 

[Ananta]

He needs to stop saying, "like" constantly. It's a bad nervous habit and can really be off putting during conversation. Also, he seems to have bad speaking skills in general from what I watched. Until he gets those things mastered, approaching girls probably won't have good results.

[Leo Gura]

How many girls did he appraoch for those $8000?

Burning money on trainings can be pretty easy compared to actually going out consistently.

[Jennjenn]

2 hours ago, Lyubov said:

people who may have an autistic mindset may have problems making friends and could also be targets for bullying as well which only adds another layer to making it more difficult if you've been subjected to that kind of treatment growing up. 

I’ve heard and read about this so many times, and I believe to some point it is true. But, my son has been diagnosed with autism and he’s great at social interactions, he’s insightful and empathetic, he has LOTS of friends, even tough he’s awkward sometimes, everyone seems to love him, including his neurotypical peers. 
 

What I’m saying is not to contradict you, it is just that autism is sooo complex imo, that I don’t even know what to think sometimes. My approach is to accept him, teach him basic and advance daily living skills (like how to behave at a fancy restaurant) and let him be. I love him, and I love his autism. 
 

My believe is that the struggles of a neurotypical person and someone in the lower autism spectrum are basically the same. Being bad at social relationships sometimes is not about being autistic

Edited August 30, 2020 by Jennjenn

[Lyubov]

58 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

How many girls did he appraoch for those $8000?

Burning money on trainings can be pretty easy compared to actually going out consistently.

he said he approached in the 300 range and got basically 0 results besides a couple numbers that never replied or met for a date

[Lyubov]

38 minutes ago, Jennjenn said:

I’ve heard and read about this so many times, and I believe to some point it is true. But, my son has been diagnosed with autism and he’s great at social interactions, he’s insightful and empathetic, he has LOTS of friends, even tough he’s awkward sometimes, everyone seems to love him, including his neurotypical peers. 
 

What I’m saying is not to contradict you, it is just that autism is sooo complex imo, that I don’t even know what to think sometimes. My approach is to accept him, teach him basic and advance daily living skills (like how to behave at a fancy restaurant) and let him be. I love him, and I love his autism. 
 

My believe is that the struggles of a neurotypical person and someone in the lower autism spectrum are basically the same. Being bad at social relationships sometimes is not about being autistic

Yeah, I do actually agree with you. I was actually misdiagnosed as being asd spectrum when I was in high school. I don't think it's a disorder. I think that's an awful way to frame autism. It's just a way certain finite human minds think. I have certain sensory stuff that I did as a child and some problems concentrating in academic settings but it hasn't limited me. I think some psychologists are too quick to classify diversity and ways of thinking as behaviors. I think being socially awkward though can make some kids targets for bullies. It did for me. Today I don't feel awkward at all and have above average social skills and have done great with women and dating so yeah. asd "behavior" overlaps with a ton of stuff like adhd, anxiety, unresolved trauma, etc.

Edited August 30, 2020 by Lyubov

[Leo Gura]

15 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

he said he approached in the 300 range and got basically 0 results besides a couple numbers that never replied or met for a date

That's his problem right there. Pickup has a steep learning curve. Took me 440 approaches to get my first result. But I didn't pay no $8000 for it.

If you are a hard case newbie with serious social anxiety issues and deep introversion, you'll need more than 300 approaches to start to see results. But the good news is, your results grow at an exponential rate. The first year is the hardest and driest.

[Lyubov]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

That's his problem right there. Pickup has a steep learning curve. Took me 440 approaches to get my first result.

eh, he seems like he has emotional issues as well. I think before approaching it's better to do inner work/healing before but some guys say they get this through infield so idk. Sounds like you had far more grit than him. 300 rejections is demoralizing as hell. I got a number that turned into a date with a sexy blonde med student my first time approaching after watching PUA youtube vids but I didn't get a second cause I tried to bring her home after kissing her on the date and she probably realized I was too thirsty 

[Leo Gura]

@Lyubov Luck ain't skill.

[Lyubov]

eh, I kinda told that through rose tinted glasses... I actually got nervous as f when she was doing that sort of subtle/reluctant following girls do when you start leading and as we were leaving the hookah lounge I froze up and she said on the walk back that she would prefer to go home now instead of to my place cause she has class tomorrow  yeah I admit it I got cold feet

[Jennjenn]

29 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Took me 440 approaches to get my first result.

May I ask, were this approaches to women at random, or were there to specific women that fit your type. 

[Arcangelo]

guy that spent $8000 on PUA coaching & still got 0 results

I laughed out loud to this. Laughter is the best medicine. Thanks for sharing.

[Farnaby]

IMO, it doesn't matter too much how many women you "approach" if you always do it carrying with you the belief that you are awkward/cringy (which in the end means "I'm not loveable"). 

It's a projection of what he believes about himself and works as a self-fulfilling prophecy because the girls he talks to can probably sense it. 

He's probably even sabotaging himself because of this belief. 

So I completely agree with @Lyubov that it would be more beneficial for him to work on these beliefs. It can be done at the same time than going out there and meeting girls. Just saying that working on his self esteem + a more natural approach than pick up would help him more IMO.

Those pick up strategies seem so artificial because many guys seem to be parroting something they watched another guy do. When you just go out, meet new people without the mindset of turning it into a pick up training, you naturally learn how to relate to people in a less artificial way.