Questions About Victim Mentality?

[creator20]

Hello. I just watched Leo's video "How to Stop Being a Victim - Part 2 - What All Victims Fail to Understand" & I can almost completely grasp the concept that problems tend to be a projection of the mind since the mind has to be the one to attribute a negative meaning to the external event. However, I started to think about people who are put into situations where they are objectively (by my definition) being actively victimized. For example, teens who suffer from physical abuse from their parents on a daily basis who can not escape the situation, people who get stalked or harassed by ex significant others, people who are homeless, etc... I'm having some issues fully grasping how extreme scenarios such as these would be merely a projection of the mind if they actively threaten ones' survival. I try to put myself in those same scenarios & I do not think I could become conscious enough to the point where I could warp my perception of those issues to be positive or solely mentally constructed problems. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. I really want to grasp this concept in its entirety. 

[Recursoinominado]

Well, you can see this from many angles.

One of them is that, in an ultimate sense, is God "victimizing" God. God abusing God, God raping God, God being "homeless" in a world that is nothing but God. Of course, if it is all God, there is also no "abusing", or "raping", those only exist when the ego-mind, which separates itself from everything else (from God) and project meaning into something that ultimately has none.

Ok, but let's say that the argument above is too much to grasp (and it is for most people). Let's say then that you got beaten by some bully and that beat made you swift from passivity to proactivity in changing your life, now you workout and practiced some martial arts, which led to making new friends, developing skills, more self-confidence, which made all your life better from now on. That change would never happen by it's on. When an organism is comfortable, change doesn't happen. Now, looking from that angle, the bully is good or bad? Could be that the bully is actually some sort of angel sent to put you into this self-transformation path?

See all your problems as a curriculum given to you. You came to this life, shit happened, people mistreated you in horrible and various ways, now you have a particular set of things to work on. Let's say that you got raped as a child by your uncle. Now, to overcome this you have ti develop: self-empowerment, emotional intelligence, forgiveness, self-love, trust, sexual repression, guilt etc. None of that would be properly looked at and worked on if that shitty thing hadn't happened to you.

Getting out of victim mentality is about realizing that shit inevitable happens and you have to deal with it, but the best way to deal with it is to see it from empowering angles like the ones I mentioned or some other. You can cry and be angry all you want about the "injustices" (from one partial point of view) that happened to you but once you realize that that approach won't make you better and no one will do it for you, you will seek for solutions instead of problems. 

[creator20]

3 hours ago, Recursoinominado said:

Well, you can see this from many angles.

One of them is that, in an ultimate sense, is God "victimizing" God. God abusing God, God raping God, God being "homeless" in a world that is nothing but God. Of course, if it is all God, there is also no "abusing", or "raping", those only exist when the ego-mind, which separates itself from everything else (from God) and project meaning into something that ultimately has none.

Ok, but let's say that the argument above is too much to grasp (and it is for most people). Let's say then that you got beaten by some bully and that beat made you swift from passivity to proactivity in changing your life, now you workout and practiced some martial arts, which led to making new friends, developing skills, more self-confidence, which made all your life better from now on. That change would never happen by it's on. When an organism is comfortable, change doesn't happen. Now, looking from that angle, the bully is good or bad? Could be that the bully is actually some sort of angel sent to put you into this self-transformation path?

See all your problems as a curriculum given to you. You came to this life, shit happened, people mistreated you in horrible and various ways, now you have a particular set of things to work on. Let's say that you got raped as a child by your uncle. Now, to overcome this you have ti develop: self-empowerment, emotional intelligence, forgiveness, self-love, trust, sexual repression, guilt etc. None of that would be properly looked at and worked on if that shitty thing hadn't happened to you.

Getting out of victim mentality is about realizing that shit inevitable happens and you have to deal with it, but the best way to deal with it is to see it from empowering angles like the ones I mentioned or some other. You can cry and be angry all you want about the "injustices" (from one partial point of view) that happened to you but once you realize that that approach won't make you better and no one will do it for you, you will seek for solutions instead of problems. 

The way you phrased that first part genuinely made it all click for me. I was attempting to explain this to a friend who has been through some (How your average person would interpret it as) horrific life experiences & then thought that I really can't see the majority of people receiving this message well or even coming close to accepting it even though it could change their lives for the better. 

[Recursoinominado]

24 minutes ago, creator20 said:

& then thought that I really can't see the majority of people receiving this message well or even coming close to accepting it even though it could change their lives for the better. 

Exactly, most people define themselves by their victim personas, is like an easy way out, everyone will feel sorry for you and tell you how mistreated you were. In turn, you will hold on to this because if you were not victimized you get no sympathy for your failings, you are alone and with no excuses, that's scary as hell for most people.

Who would you be without your limitations? That's a tough one to contemplate. It's so "open" and full of possibilities that is scary. You would assume that most people fear failing but I would bet that people often fear success more than failure. Imagine yourself as the president of the US with all the responsibility, all the accountability 24/7, now imagine yourself as a homeless person that sleeps in the open, skips a few meals, which one is scarier? 

I compare this limitless possibility feeling to swimming in the open sea, so vast, deep, and unknown that is scary as hell. 

Edited August 29, 2020 by Recursoinominado