Questions About Victim Mentality?

[creator20]

Hello. I just watched Leo's video "How to Stop Being a Victim - Part 2 - What All Victims Fail to Understand" & I can almost completely grasp the concept that problems tend to be a projection of the mind since the mind has to be the one to attribute a negative meaning to the external event. However, I started to think about people who are put into situations where they are objectively (by my definition) being actively victimized. For example, teens who suffer from physical abuse from their parents on a daily basis who can not escape the situation, people who get stalked or harassed by ex significant others, people who are homeless, etc... I'm having some issues fully grasping how extreme scenarios such as these would be merely a projection of the mind if they actively threaten ones' survival. I try to put myself in those same scenarios & I do not think I could become conscious enough to the point where I could warp my perception of those issues to be positive or solely mentally constructed problems. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. I really want to grasp this concept in its entirety. 

[Nahm]

10 hours ago, creator20 said:

I try to put myself in those same scenarios & I do not think I could become conscious enough to the point where I could warp my perception of those issues to be positive or solely mentally constructed problems.

You’d have to humble down considerably to notice you are doing the warping. Yes, it is mind bending. Until it isn’t. 

[bejapuskas]

The idea that somebody is thinking thoughts doesn't imply that you should make fun of them and feel superior.  You aren't doing anything wrong for looking at it in this way, people have overcome similar issues to those you are talking about in the past, it can just take more effort. If you think this issue is somewhere else than in thoughts, where would that be?

[creator20]

35 minutes ago, Nahm said:

You’d have to humble down considerably to notice you are doing the warping. Yes, it is mind bending. Until it isn’t. 

The humbling clicked for me this morning after I read a few things. I can see myself achieving enough consciousness to the point where I would be able to mentally overcome these things & realize that they are not actual problems outside of my mind interpreting that they are. But I was trying to explain this concept to a friend who has been through what the average person would call "horrific" life experiences & unfortunately also realized that a lot of people will not be too willing to accept this reality

[Nahm]

5 minutes ago, creator20 said:

I can see myself achieving enough consciousness to the point where I would be able to mentally overcome these things & realize that they are not actual problems outside of my mind interpreting that they are.

Yes indeed. ‘Do’ that. But it’s not a matter of mentally overcoming, it’s letting it go, not believing thoughts. 

Simply see your friend can do this too. It is not up to you for them. It’s up to them. 

In attempting to accept reality, one is believing one is separate from it. No thought will do, as all is love, and love can not be thought. 

Be an undeniable example. Live the life you dream of unabashedly. 

[creator20]

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

Yes indeed. ‘Do’ that. But it’s not a matter of mentally overcoming, it’s letting it go, not believing thoughts. 

Simply see your friend can do this too. It is not up to you for them. It’s up to them. 

In attempting to accept reality, one is believing one is separate from it. No thought will do, as all is love, and love can not be thought. 

Be an undeniable example. Live the life you dream of unabashedly. 

Thank you for your insights. I appreciate them greatly 

[creator20]

5 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

The idea that somebody is thinking thoughts doesn't imply that you should make fun of them and feel superior.  You aren't doing anything wrong for looking at it in this way, people have overcome similar issues to those you are talking about in the past, it can just take more effort. If you think this issue is somewhere else than in thoughts, where would that be?

I'm just trying to think about how I would convey this concept to someone who experiences more traumatic experiences in their life. It would be kind of difficult to tell someone, for example, a teen who gets abused daily by their parents & can not escape from that, that their "problem" is merely a mentally constructed one & that they just have to change their perception of what is happening & it will no longer be a problem. I want to help people but it's even hard for me to imagine trying to warp my perception to that extent as a young adult

[bejapuskas]

@creator20  Yeh actually telling them that might not be the right move if you want to help. It might be later on on their path, but humans aren't simple like that. They might think that after they go through all the baggage they collected on the way, but that's when they discover humanness is not the only thing there is. It's neither simple, not hard, it's both and none, or whatever. There is no one correct thing to say or do to help someone, you need to pay attention closely and adapt according to what you can sense. For example walking up to someone who is being abused sexually and telling them they are imagining things might be extremely harmful and insensitive thing to do, even though partially it is right, since it is also not right. The solution might come from dettaching themselves from their abusive parents, living alone, becoming more independent, I think it's highly unlikely a person is gonna have a dedicated spiritual practices, live their values through their life purpose and simultaneously get raped every week by a family member. 

Tune into your senses. Love (for others) is not some one or two things.

[susanyzm]

The realization that victim mentality is actually a projection cannot be forced into anybody's consciousness. It would be an abuse because it contradicts with their reality. It has to occur naturally on one's own spiritual path.

Same thing goes for forgiveness, anger, strong emotions, acceptance, etc.

This is how spiritual teaching gets tricky. It can backfire if it is forced upon somebody who's not ready.