Do You See How Your World Is Changing?

[cirkussmile]

Hi,

I do in many ways and I'm aware of it. It feels spooky sometimes but in the same way I feel so much joy. I can't explain better right now but I trust the Universe. 

So you recognize this and how do/did you handle it?

[cetus]

2 hours ago, cirkussmile said:

So you recognize this and how do/did you handle it?

@cirkussmile Sure it's going to feel a little freaky at first. Anybody would feel that way when they first realize that what they truly are is something very different than what they had always thought themselves to be. But at the same time it feels so familiar so that eases the transition. One needs time to settle into it and integrate. The world didn't change one bit. The only thing that did change is the place from which existence is experienced. No longer through the distorted lens of self as me in my world.  My mother and father bought me and this body into the world biologically. But the awareness  belongs to the universe. It always has and always will.

[Frogfucius]

What cetus said. My world didn't change, or the world I exist in didn't change. What I call my perceptions have changed.

At first, yes, it is spooky, but that's a natural reaction to your ego when its identity becomes threatened. There might be some ominous or disassociated feelings of all labels and beliefs we had that we thought had value. That's not easy to experience at first, but the more it is embraced, the more peaceful existence becomes.

[cirkussmile]

So I had this huge realization an hour ago? I can't remember. I hade an insight about my voice in my head and that it's always ON. I had to write down that. How could I not noticed that before? And after more thinking(?), it got so damn loud. I was just writing down this when it struck me that if I shut down that voice I have no fucking control!

That freaked me out so I grabbed my jacket and went for a walk. I didn't care in which direction and for how long. I have a walking habit for 40-60 minutes each day. I didn't walk that much today... until just a moment ago. 

This means that the only thing I can do is to change my habits and l go for what I enjoy the most. 

I cant write anymore

 

[cetus]

1 hour ago, cirkussmile said:

So I had this huge realization an hour ago? I can't remember. I hade an insight about my voice in my head and that it's always ON. I had to write down that. How could I not noticed that before? And after more thinking(?), it got so damn loud. I was just writing down this when it struck me that if I shut down that voice I have no fucking control!

That freaked me out so I grabbed my jacket and went for a walk. I didn't care in which direction and for how long. I have a walking habit for 40-60 minutes each day. I didn't walk that much today... until just a moment ago. 

This means that the only thing I can do is to change my habits and l go for what I enjoy the most. 

I cant write anymore

 

You realized you have no control over existence and that freaked you out. Welcome to the real world!  Welcome to the wakening from the dream that is "you" . Yea, it's like that. Float with the current of existence. There are no binding agreements here anywhere to be found.

[cirkussmile]

Thank you for your replies. I felt very alone last night but I'm so glad other people can see it. This is madness!

I'm looking forward to what this day has to offer. 

Thank you

[cetus]

2 hours ago, cirkussmile said:

I felt very alone last night but I'm so glad other people can see it. This is madness!

@cirkussmile Here is something that Mooji said that will help: The presence that you feel is the presence that you are. It is not the final state. In the heart of the person, there is a presence, and in that presence is absolute awareness. Presence is not a person, it is the pure vibration. This sense of "I am" or "I exist" is the state of observing. We are not accustomed to being in the space of the infinite self. Yet you have always been the infinite self. For a time, the infinite self dreamed itself to be the finite self. The "talking in your head" would be what Mooji describes here as the "finite self". That finite self may be all you have ever known. But it's time to discover that in you which is the infinite self. You are missing that part of the puzzle and the picture is not complete for you at this time. Hence your view of this being "madness". Anyone who looks will find it, so just rest in knowing it is always there. Waiting to be found.

[cirkussmile]

1 hour ago, cetus56 said:

@cirkussmile Here is something that Mooji said that will help: The presence that you feel is the presence that you are. It is not the final state. In the heart of the person, there is a presence, and in that presence is absolute awareness. Presence is not a person, it is the pure vibration. This sense of "I am" or "I exist" is the state of observing. We are not accustomed to being in the space of the infinite self. Yet you have always been the infinite self. For a time, the infinite self dreamed itself to be the finite self. The "talking in your head" would be what Mooji describes here as the "finite self". That finite self may be all you have ever known. But it's time to discover that in you which is the infinite self. You are missing that part of the puzzle and the picture is not complete for you at this time. Hence your view of this being "madness". Anyone who looks will find it, so just rest in knowing it is always there. Waiting to be found.

Haha. I read that a couple of times and started to smile. I have no idea anymore. I will go on my first 10day vipassana retreat in 2 months. Awesome timing?

I will remember your words, keep calm and continue meditation. 

How did you go to the next step?

I don't know so much anymore and I feel like I have more questions now then before! 

 How many "I" do we have?  

Who is giving me the brilliant ideas?

I can control my thinking if I want but if I don't the thoughts are there anyway and just speaks to itself. I noticed that voice is commenting everything I do. Is that voice a product of my beliefs and what the "reality" has told me? By commenting everything the ego feels like it has control? 

Yesterday I felt egoless but I still had thoughts. So I get confused on how many different voices/senses there is. The ego? The inner self and nothing? 

Maybe I just need to continue practicing. I don't mind

 

[cirkussmile]

Oh, now I remember. Strangers talk to me and good things seems to happen more frequently. I feel my own vibration. I can't explain it but maybe there is no such thing as coincidence. Seems odd but I will not try to stop it, why should I? If I tell other people this stuff they will probably think I'm losing my mind completely.  So funny!

Edited August 13, 2016 by cirkussmile

[cetus]

@cirkussmile  Sure it comes with practice. When you switch off the thinking mind, thoughts will come to a total standstill. Or move really super slow. You can actually watch this happening as a silent observer. Try to remain within that silent mind by enjoying the stillness and basking in it. With practice it will get easier. I think of the normal talking mind the same as traffic on a highway speeding through an intersection. When the light turns red, all the traffic stops and becomes still and motionless. Do the same with thoughts.  After a while, thoughts will become impatient and will start to move. Just remind yourself it's again time to turn the light red again and bring the traffic to a standstill. Do you ever just sit with a still mind after meditation and just witness the stillness?

[cetus]

31 minutes ago, cirkussmile said:

. I have no idea anymore

@cirkussmile This is good!

[cirkussmile]

5 hours ago, cetus56 said:

@cirkussmile  Sure it comes with practice. When you switch off the thinking mind, thoughts will come to a total standstill. Or move really super slow. You can actually watch this happening as a silent observer. Try to remain within that silent mind by enjoying the stillness and basking in it. With practice it will get easier. I think of the normal talking mind the same as traffic on a highway speeding through an intersection. When the light turns red, all the traffic stops and becomes still and motionless. Do the same with thoughts.  After a while, thoughts will become impatient and will start to move. Just remind yourself it's again time to turn the light red again and bring the traffic to a standstill. Do you ever just sit with a still mind after meditation and just witness the stillness?

I meditate with closed eyes and after a session I sometimes sit still with my eyes open but that's not for long time. I will try this tomorrow and sit still. Few weeks ago I meditated in the forest and after that session I felt like I was on mushrooms or something   Walked really slow and looked at plants and ants for a long time

I start to notice my unconscious behaviors also.. Yesterday I walked to the fridge for no reason, it's an old habit when I ate all the time. This time I drank some almond milk and I came aware of my habits. I told my self "Next time I come here I can take anything in the fridge but NOT almond milk"  

20-30 minutes later I went to the fridge, reached for the almond milk when suddenly my hand froze. In the same moment I came aware of my unconscious behavior. Instead I drank some oat milk. Haha  But the thing is everything feels like a video game. You set up the rules in the now and everything else will follow.

My motivation for self improvement is even bigger now after the insight. This is to good to not be discovered deeply.

Thanks, cetus!  

 

Edited August 13, 2016 by cirkussmile

[cetus]

2 hours ago, cirkussmile said:

I meditate with closed eyes and after a session I sometimes sit still with my eyes open but that's not for long time. I will try this tomorrow and sit still. Few weeks ago I meditated in the forest and after that session I felt like I was on mushrooms or something   Walked really slow and looked at plants and ants for a long time

I  meditate in the forest every chance I get! I'll just sit there (after eyes closed meditation on the breath) with a still mind as a silent observer and awareness will merge and become one with the field. You have an idea what I'm saying. Leo explains that experience too in one of his early videos. He was at a retreat looking at a tree in the distance when he experienced that shift in awareness. It's very cool! Everything becomes one thing happening with you in the background only as a silent witness and not as the first observer. Everything suddenly becomes more vivid and HD looking. It feels as if something other than you is doing the seeing.  Like gods presence is there looking through your eyes. That's a beautiful thing!

[cirkussmile]

"you in the background only as a silent witness"

Beautiful!!!