Stuck in life, desperate for love and connection

[Megan Alecia]

I feel alone. And I'm afraid of being isolated, stuck with my own thoughts... I wouldn't be able to function during those moments. Along with the feeling of "fuck this why am I even alive??" A sense of purposelessness. A disgust for humans for not caring about my pain and emotions. 

How do I deal with all these? 

It's like my entire life is about building something... A good life, an attractive outside facade, a healthy body. What if all those are nothing, and love is all I need? 

 

[arlin]

My god you are talking about me. Yes.

I might as well have written this.

The solution is find people. I had a belief that finding people who you truly connect is hard. Then i thought about it, and aside from a good psychotherapist, that can empathise with you and feels you, i suggest go to church and confess.

It's what i did 2 days ago, the priest had a good presence which is what you need to heal from your pain.

I was shaking and i was ashamed and could barely talk, but just the unconditional presence it's all it's needed. It lasted less then 5 minutes and i said nothing, it was amazing. Just feeling my emotions while another human being is completely here with me, it's so healing.

You also most likely have shame. if you want to know more tell me.

I know it seems like a big deal and im going through this also. 

Im planning to find people who have that kind of presence, you have to surround yourself with those loving friends.

it can be found, it seems impossible because what you always experienced is pain alone.

Imagine if you have friends you age with whom you enjoy life, play videogames and also talk about you pain and they accept it without you needing to be different. it can be done and it's my next goal.

[JosephKnecht]

Why don't you try to meet new people? It is a good way to get out of your head and learn the thoughts of someone else. Their thoughts might not be enlightening, but at least it will be someone else's thoughts. 

On purpose... Try to find the ways in which you differ from others. The ways you are different makes you exceptional. In your differences, you will find your talents. Work every day to further develop your talents. Always try to push the boundaries of what you think is possible. 

Try something new every day. That is a good way to expand yourself. 

A journey of thousand miles starts with a single step.  Start small. Say hi to a stranger. 

[VerballyHazardous]

@Megan Alecia

Same

The feeling of loneliness is getting so intense that i have mental breakdowns pretty much everyday. Knowing that i've never experienced a deep, long lasting relationship and possibly never will really depresses me, it keeps me up at night. Being alone also means that whenever i feel down, there's nobody to talk to, only me to work through the dark thoughts.

Well, if i can't find anybody right now, alteast i know how to cope with it. Music is brilliant for coping, aspecially angry/dark/cathartic music. Ever talked to a family member about your problem and they be like "what are you talking about ? Just smile more and the problem will go away, you are just making things up". You can listen to a song related to your current emotion, it's like having someone that totally understand how you feel.

 

[Megan Alecia]

Thanks guys, I'll be reading this and trying out the things you all mentioned... since they all seem like helpful tips.

[Megan Alecia]

@VerballyHazardous Lets talk if you want, I could be of help... 

[VerballyHazardous]

@Megan Alecia

Thank you