Enlightenment or goals

[28 cm unbuffed]

When I discovered self-development and enlightenment concept, it became something that I obsessed about and the only thing worth pursuing in life. I was talking to myself "it's a lot smarter to become enlightened first, and then everything will become faster, and it will be my true desire, not ego stuff". Right now I am not so sure about and I wanted to talk about it.

First thing is - I am not so sure about what enlightenment really is. Maybe it's just death, end of a dream, end of life? I don't want that yet, I want to experience life to the fullest, I'm still young. I got high this week and I closed my eyes, I started to see big triangle, shining in front of my eyes, like for the first time, when I tried mushrooms. Then I heard a voice in my head, saying "Everything is one" and some patterns showing. I felt, like I should get more into this trance, but I was afraid.

I'm stuck. I feel bad with pursuing my materialistic goals right now, I am not giving them my 100% and I don't follow enlightenment path 100% either. It's not 50/50 too, it's more like 10/10, because of how unsure and unstable with my beliefs I am right now.

Can any of you relate? I think it has something to do with my self transforming into a new one, but damn, that's a tough thing to get rid of (pursuing enlightenment), because, conceptually, I know it's the only thing that really matters.

[allislove]

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First thing is - I am not so sure about what enlightenment really is.

Enlightenment is the self-realization of who you are.

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Maybe it's just death, end of a dream, end of life?

Death is a lie. Dream/Life is endless and it's you.

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I want to experience life to the fullest, I'm still young

Yes! Keep going to tell this story, be optimistic, you can do it!!!!!

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I'm stuck.

You think you are stuck, but you are not, this is a lie.

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 I feel bad with pursuing my materialistic goals right now,

There are no problems with pursuing materialistic goals, don't blame yourself, be easy on yourself.

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because of how unsure and unstable with my beliefs I am right now.

Meditate every morning before doing anything else, 1 hour, enjoy it, to be sure with the beliefs.

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I know it's the only thing that really matters.

 

?❤️

[nistake]

They're not mutually exclusive. Enlightenment is not a huge event with fireworks and rainbows (afaik). It's basically seeing who and what you are really. Even if you get enlightened, you can have goals and material desires. Rupert Spira attends to football events, Sadghuru is a fan of motorbikes, Eckhart Tolle likes coffee and wine. I know these are small everyday things, but it shows that enlightenment doesn't mean abandoning practical life.

[Michal__]

You need to reach your goals first to be able to begin serious spirituality. Meditating for like an hour a day while working on your goals seems like a great way to move yourself to a position where you arent missing anything in the material world and overtime become more and more serious about spirituality...

TLDR: you need both, you will be able to become more spiritual after you have your material life is sufficiently set up.

Edited August 27, 2020 by Michal__

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Michal__ @allislove @nistake

Yeah, that seems reasonable, will include 1h meditation into my daily routine, as the first thing in the morning.

Thank you.

[nistake]

@28 cm unbuffed Sounds good ?

Formal meditation, maintaining mindfulness throughout the day and working on your material desires at the same time are the best way in my opinion.

[28 cm unbuffed]

@nistake

Yeah, I found that it is working really well for me as well. Being more and more in the flow throughout the day, made me a lot smarter and a brilliant person, as I was back in high school days. 1 hour of meditation before the day even starts might be a great thing, to get into that flow more and more naturally.

I already feel like it's the Source that is controlling me most of the time, yet, the mind sometimes attacks me with spiritual, "good guy" ego, and posts like this are being created. 

Maybe it's some kind of a scarcity mentality, that when I am focused on my work and material desires, I will somehow lose sight of enlightenment in a process, that I will get into the rat race of life, you get it. Thoughts like that get me sometimes, maybe it's just nihilism, dunno.

I feel guilty of living my life to the fullest and pursuing my dreams sometimes because they are not strictly focused on enlightenment. I know how silly that sounds.

I think it's because of quotes that I heard, Leo's f.e, that all of these things, all of these pursuits are just rubbish in comparison with enlightenment.