Envy good looks

[Megan Alecia]

@arlin Do you live to just envy people? Is that what leads you to your truth/your sense of motivation ? If so then good luck with that. 

[arlin]

@Shunyata Sorry i don't mean to offend you, but i find your comment to be rather silly.

Everybody gets old and unattractive and sick etc etc. It's not something reserved to some and not to others.

Those are just further justifications to not come down to earth.

[Shunyata]

@arlin keep on feeling sorry for yourself then.

[arlin]

@Shunyata Who told you im feeling sorry for myself right now?

beware of projection.

[Axiomatic]

7 minutes ago, arlin said:

@Shunyata Sorry i don't mean to offend you, but i find your comment to be rather silly.

Everybody gets old and unattractive and sick etc etc. It's not something reserved to some and not to others.

Those are just further justifications to not come down to earth.

trust me, I know how frustrating this feeling is. Truly. I relate to you brother. And outside of the advice I already gave, just find something that will boost your confidence that isn't looks based. Find a skill or passion or something to provide to your community that can give you a sense of value without having to base it on things that you cannot control. 

 

Not saying it will solve this unrest within you, but it will at least take the focus off of it a little. 

Edited November 21, 2020 by Axiomatic

[arlin]

@Axiomatic THIS. IS a usefull advice. Thank you man  

BTW, i did what you wrote the other day, seem to get a little bit better.

[Axiomatic]

6 minutes ago, arlin said:

@Axiomatic THIS. IS a usefull advice. Thank you man  

BTW, i did what you wrote the other day, seem to get a little bit better.

Glad I can help! 

[Heaven]

@arlin Bro you’re looking for a solution out side when the problem is in your thinking..

A guy doesn’t need to look good to attract women, it’s a fact.

Yes it helps, but when you put too much attention to it you lower your self esteem and it makes you envy and those are bigger turn off for women.

Meditate. Be conscious to thoughts that doesn’t feel good to u. Let go of all those limiting beliefs. 
Be happy, be playful and know some PU and u will attract almost every woman that u want.

[Display_Name]

5 hours ago, arlin said:

@Megan Alecia Let's take a disable person and give him the same advice, ok?

So i have no legs, and you tell me to go work on myself.

You people are too much in the dream world when it comes to self improvement.

You need to come down to earth. Everybody has limitations and sometimes telling people "You should not be envy, that means something is wrong with you" is counter productive.

You expected any different from this forum? Of course the answers are gonna be sugarcoated, virtue signaling, bluepilled and coping to the max. That’s the (well meaning) nature of the demographic this type of forum attracts. 

Some other poster seriously, unironically said “if a girl finds you too ugly to sleep with she’s just insecure.” Wow, now that’s comedy.

The real answer is, yes, you may have lost the genetic lottery and will be getting far less sex, with far less ease than others.

The good news is that enlightenment is a million times better anyway, and you have the potential for it, making your life better in the end.

In fact, unenlightened life, no matter how good looking and abundant, turns out to be one endless cope, no matter who you are. That’s just the mechanism of the self. The only true end to it, is enlightenment.

Of course, in the end, there was no one doing anything and no choice in the matter to start with.

Edited November 21, 2020 by Display_Name

[Shunyata]

9 hours ago, arlin said:

@Shunyata Who told you im feeling sorry for myself right now?

beware of projection.

since when feeling envious and feeling sorry for yourself not the same? You are so defensive it's funny

Edited November 22, 2020 by Shunyata

[The0Self]

5 hours ago, Display_Name said:

You expected any different from this forum? Of course the answers are gonna be sugarcoated, virtue signaling, bluepilled and coping to the max. That’s the (well meaning) nature of the demographic this type of forum attracts. 

Some other poster seriously, unironically said “if a girl finds you too ugly to sleep with she’s just insecure.” Wow, now that’s comedy.

The real answer is, yes, you may have lost the genetic lottery and will be getting far less sex, with far less ease than others.

The good news is that enlightenment is a million times better anyway, and you have the potential for it, making your life better in the end.

In fact, unenlightened life, no matter how good looking and abundant, turns out to be one endless cope, no matter who you are. That’s just the mechanism of the self. The only true end to it, is enlightenment.

Of course, in the end, there was no one doing anything and no choice in the matter to start with.

This.

@arlin If that's you in your profile picture, you look very good to me. It is your teeth? Because some can overlook that, and teeth can often be fixed. But I'm not downplaying your struggle -- I trust you when you imply that you seem to be less subjectively/objectively attractive than you'd like to be. If I were you, I'd consider practicing Metta. All day long, amidst your daily activities. + sits (very, very still) + walking sessions. Bhante Vimalaramsi style -- relax-smile-return. If you just want to be happy, Metta works about as well as anything. Perhaps even better than seeking enlightenment.

[Display_Name]

@arlin I’ve studied facial aesthetics, if you want you can send me a photo and I’ll give an honest relatively objective assessment just to dispel any possible dysmorphia.

But of course there will always be better looking people getting better experiences. The envy and victimizing comparisons will probably stop once

a) the universal suffering inherent in being a self is recognized

b) the illusion of free will and individuality is recognized

c) real freedom is tasted

[Bando]

Hahaha some of you guys need to be hit with a bus or something, so you guys can be more grateful of the body you have. 

If you have no major health issues, can put on muscle and move your body without pain I would consider myself blessed, People who usually parrot this ideology have no real experiences with women and instead of figuring out a way get better at this, they get all bitter and complain how there not getting laid because of how they look.

Some people are born disabled, some get into horrific accidents, some are born wealthy and good looking, thats how life is, if looks arnt your best feature focus on something else like your body and becoming a more high value man just stop with the bitching cause your only going to attract other losers who agree with your ideology and you'll trap yourself in an echo chamber. 

[arlin]

10 hours ago, Shunyata said:

since when feeling envious and feeling sorry for yourself not the same? You are so defensive it's funny

Yes im defensive because you are projecting a lot of shit.

Im not defensive and envy from a place of despair. But since you didn't took the time to understand what im feeling (projection), this is what you see. You came here starting your posts like they are truth, and didn't take my view into consideration. This is really disrespectful. Notice how people here are taking the time to acknowledge what are my feelings first and to emphasize. When i told you to be more realistic, it's coming from personal experience. because i've been that guy that approached tons of girls etc, thinking looks didn't matter. Have you been in my position instead? Well, it seems not to me. 

There is a difference in feeling envy and being ok with it because you accept yourself and see it as a valid thing and normal to be had if anybody here would be in your position,

and feeling envy and feeling sorry for yourself. (Of course there will still be some suffering)

This is the opposite of resisting. 

If you are here to keep attacking me, NOT to help me,  and insisting that there is something wrong with me or with what im feeling, you can leave this thread and go somewhere else, i don't need that. Ok?

I'll stop replying to you. I wrote too much.

15 hours ago, Heaven said:

Yes it helps, but when you put too much attention to it you lower your self esteem and it makes you envy and those are bigger turn off for women.

Hey bro   you are right, i have experience that.

 

14 hours ago, Display_Name said:

Some other poster seriously, unironically said “if a girl finds you too ugly to sleep with she’s just insecure.” Wow, now that’s comedy.

You are absolutely right, that's what i see is sugarcoated answers. But i still appreciate that people are trying to help. Yes, that comment was laughable. Although i still thought that there might be a tiny truth to that. 

 

14 hours ago, Display_Name said:

The real answer is, yes, you may have lost the genetic lottery and will be getting far less sex, with far less ease than others.

The good news is that enlightenment is a million times better anyway, and you have the potential for it, making your life better in the end.

Thank you, this is what i need to hear. Not some watered down social advice. You seem to be realistic guy.

 

9 hours ago, The0Self said:

If that's you in your profile picture, you look very good to me. It is your teeth? Because some can overlook that, and teeth can often be fixed. But I'm not downplaying your struggle

Hey man, thank you for acknowledging my situation first  I don't think im ugly like you look at me and you cringe lol, but not even good looking. Im working to have white teeth in the process. Your advice i find it very usefull, for sure i will look up to that! Im practicing with letting go and wellcoming good emotions. I think metta could be a variation to that or some addition. 

 

2 hours ago, Display_Name said:

 I’ve studied facial aesthetics, if you want you can send me a photo and I’ll give an honest relatively objective assessment just to dispel any possible dysmorphia.

Hey man, we can do that if you want, just DM me.I also agree with the enlightenment thing but it's more advanced.

56 minutes ago, Bando said:

If you have no major health issues, can put on muscle and move your body without pain I would consider myself blessed,

I agree with this. 

56 minutes ago, Bando said:

People who usually parrot this ideology have no real experiences with women and instead of figuring out a way get better at this, they get all bitter and complain how there not getting laid because of how they look.

This is not true in my experience. I have experiences with women but im not going to explain them all here. if a girl tells to your face she doesn't want to fuck you because of your face (lol) i don't think this becomes an ideology anymore rather than a lived experience. 

I agree with you that i have to be very carefull not to get wraped up in my believes, but i also advice you to open your mind to the possibility that this can be real impediment for some.

58 minutes ago, Bando said:

Some people are born disabled, some get into horrific accidents, some are born wealthy and good looking, thats how life is, if looks arnt your best feature focus on something else like your body and becoming a more high value man just stop with the bitching cause your only going to attract other losers who agree with your ideology and you'll trap yourself in an echo chamber. 

I agree with you in fact im interested in working out and building a strong body. Also trying to become more confident (self improvement is all my life). I also agree with you that life can be more unfair. But please, don't use those things to completely disregard my experience or what im feeling because to be fair, it hurts and i don't need this anymore. I found your style of writing a little bit cold for the situation, that's it.

[MrBON]

@arlin Leo has done it. 440 approaches and then did pretty well ( i am trusting all his claims here). I dont think you look worse than he does so why are you so upset about this. 440 rejections in a row, tall glass to fill i know. I have mad respect for Leo from this feat alone, idk if most people can do that and still be going strong.

I will tell you this, a lot of girls are full of shit when it comes to attraction. If they rejected you based on looks it can be the case. However, sometimes they just found you okay looking (average) but your personality was not good enough for them. Work on your personality until it becomes so attractive that a girl will reject you ONLY if you are LEGIT ugly in her eyes. If you are 4/10 for a girl you can still get her with a great personality. The issue is that great personalities are super rare while good looks are not. By great personality i mean what is attractive to girls not being kind honest and any of that bluepilled bs.

[arlin]

@MrBON hey, thank you man this was great advice

Because it was realistic. Yes i do agree persoballity matters if it didn't then we would all be fucked ahahah 

[The0Self]

@arlin Being really materialistic here, but... I can’t really get a good look at you, but I would say, based on your profile pic, you could easily be a 6/10 on the attractiveness scale. Especially with a lot of meditation and lifting. For both sexes, when they’re very attractive, a partner that qualifies as a “would always bang“ = 7+/10. You’re literally just below that threshold (as is almost everyone). Not being in the “would always bang” category is not the end of the world mate.

[arlin]

@The0Self i understand man, don't worry.  I have a bum in my nose  (yeah im also being materialistic here for a little bit) and someone told me it's not that big. I mean, i have flaws like everybody and i don't really think im ugly, some girls have found me attractive, some didn't and some loughed at me when i approached them. This post was mostly because im astonished that in sociaty, if you are not attractive, nobody gives you good advice. What should an unattractive person do? How can he be happy? This is what bothers me. Is there a way to have a satisfying life? I mean, not only with girls, but in general. If sociaty values looks that much, is there a way to not feel inferior to other man? How do you deal with people who mistreat you because of your appearance? Like girls? 

Is an unattractive person just destined to suffer and receive pity from others? 

This defies the whole self-improvement bullshit. It's like you have been born disabled. 

And people don't give a fuck. 

[Shunyata]

@arlin the secret to everlasting happiness has been found thousands of years ago by great sages - that secret is that happiness can only be found within. The truth is, you are being a bit overdramatic and can't see yourself as a beautiful divine creature. We are sad and angry at the world because people don't see us in our infinite divine nature and beauty. The world is cruel. We can't live with an open heart. We can no longer love. 

But it's our own fault of rejecting the love of God. The ego has inferiority complex, it was created by the social system in order to satisfy and please others. The truth is that you are NOT the ego.  The real self has NOTHING to do with the body, with gender or past. The question of who you really are is a very intimate one. God loves everyone and he sees everyone as beautiful.  There is no favoritism. To find out who you really are, you need to abide in the heart of your being, which means that you have nothing to do. It's our center deep within, the core full of divine love, the secret to unending bliss. 

We crave attention and love from others because we see God in it. And if it's not women but money then it's still love/happiness/bliss. Why not go in for God's love directly ? It's like rejecting someone giving you billions of dollars for free (without any malice).

Edited November 24, 2020 by Shunyata

[Shunyata]

The most difficult thing in life is probably staying content all the time. To accept everything as it is. To play the hand you're dealt. The ego doesn't like it, but it's exactly the reason why you suffer. You should probably come first to realize that you are your own enemy. I did that, and that's why I'm not afraid of spilling some truth. We think that it's the world that doesn't love us, rejects us, hates us but it's our own minds playing games. 

You say that it's the real world with serious problems. But what if the real world is nothing like that? See, you also are biased. And you think that my advice doesn't matter because I'm young.

Go for liberation NOW. Enter the real which is divine love. We have nothing to lose but our suffering

Edited November 24, 2020 by Shunyata