Having A Baby

[Harvey]

@Orange yes i do have a boy and the point here is to give them care ,love , all things and but while doing that do not lost ourself or suffering not getting the best from life due helping them to grow. by the way as i'm consciousness and aware of it  l'm notexpecting anythings from them.

if i have been suffered growing them and they will suffer while i'm old who the hell going to live happy life   

[FindingPeace]

3 minutes ago, Orange said:

Would you still have a kid if you knew he/she would turn out to be completely indifferent to all the care you gave them and would not love you unconditionally,  would not stay around when you are old, etc?

I like this question. And I like this topic. It's good to see people questioning these things. Especially things like this. I don't think enough people discus this particuar topic nearly enough and just end up going in to parenthood, creating more dysfunctional, suffering humans because they were selfish in their motives to have children.

On 11/08/2016 at 6:20 PM, Orange said:

the question is: is it selfish to bring a baby to life?

Yes and no. It depends on your motives. If you do it out of instinct alone and not for any other agenda then no, it's not selfish. But if you have a list of reasons why you want a baby, then yes it is.

Ultimately, if you feel the natural urge that nature programmed in to all animals, and you continue to have a chile and raise, nurture and love it unconditionally then that wouldn't be selfish.

On the other hand, you are creating a life out of nothing. So someone that doesn't exist suddenly starts to exist, and then may go on to suffer like everyone else.. thanks to you. It's an interesting debate. One I've contemplated time and again.

On 11/08/2016 at 5:08 PM, Ayla said:

Can you see the magic in that?

I don't see creating life as 'magic' or even particularly 'special'. It happens all the time and has been doing so for millions of years as part of reality just 'being'. It is no more miraculous than anything else in reality. A rock on the ground is mirraculous. Reality is reality and all that come with it is equal and non-dual. It's funny how we value life above that of non-living things when in fact we all part of the same stuff. Yet, you don't feel bad when you drop a rock on the floor and it breaks in half but when life begins and ends it has significant meaning and value. But doesn't this come back to self-agenda? After all, we are all living being beings and therefore to each of us individually, life has significant importance, therefore we 'value' life in general, only because we value our own.

 

[Orange]

14 minutes ago, FindingPeace said:

But doesn't this come back to self-agenda? After all, we are all living being beings and therefore to each of us individually, life has significant importance, therefore we 'value' life in general, only because we value our own.

 

I have thought about this in an abstract way but you put it very nicely to words. Thanks. 

Edited August 15, 2016 by Orange

[Orange]

2 hours ago, FindingPeace said:

 I don't think enough people discus this particuar topic nearly enough and just end up going in to parenthood, creating more dysfunctional, suffering humans because they were selfish in their motives to have children.

 

From my experience in real life it is taboo to question someone's choice to have babies. People reply with ' it is love'. And that would be the end of it. 

Actually now I'm wondering why people react like this..With a bit of irritability and defense. But that is my experience maybe some of you have other experience, with parents being open about questioning why they have a baby?

Has anyone asked that question to parents? ' Why did you have a baby'? If yes, how did they react-respond? 

Edited August 15, 2016 by Orange

[FindingPeace]

On 15/08/2016 at 2:18 PM, Orange said:

From my experience in real life it is taboo to question someone's choice to have babies.

It find it amusing when people talk about 'having a baby'. The reason being that babies quickly grow out of being babies and become toddlers, then little boys and girls, then adolescents, then adults etc. Actually, I wonder how people would think differenty if instead of talking about having 'babies', they considered having 'humans' or rather 'eventual human adults'. Because that what they grow in to.

People talk about babies like they're a species of their own. Like a pet cat or dog. Not really giving much thought to the entire process and end result. Imagine if instead of a baby, you gave birth to a fully grown adult. How would that change people's considerations I wonder?

[Orange]

21 minutes ago, FindingPeace said:

Imagine if instead of a baby, you gave birth to a fully grown adult. 

Holy shit.