Where do you draw the line between defending yourself vs letting things go?

[nistake]

When do you think it's appropriate to speak up and when is it appropriate just let things go and not take anything personally?

I'm not interested in theory, I'm interested in real life examples. If you have any personal stories, feel free to share.

My story: A co-worker (who's above me in the company hierarchy) asked me when I'd be finished with the work he assigned it to me and he did it in a rude and inappropriate manner. He did it several times. The first few occasions made me a little bit angry, but I could let them go. After like the 4th time, I got fed up and I spoke up and defended myself. I raised my voice a little bit, so we had a short conflict. After a while, things cooled down and we managed to discuss the issue in a civil tone. Important thing to note: We don't have a beef with each other, he just kind of an impulsive person and he can't really control his emotions.

I like to think that I defended myself rightly, but if I'm being honest, that was kind of an egoic reaction and it made me agitated quite a bit. Maybe I should've defended myself, but in a calmer way. It would've been more elegant. No idea.

[JosephKnecht]

1 hour ago, nistake said:

When do you think it's appropriate to speak up and when is it appropriate just let things go and not take anything personally?

Treat others in the same manner that you wish to be treated. 

If someone is being rude with you so much that you find that behavior unacceptable and you would never do it to others, you must speak up. 

[hyruga]

It all boils down to your values/principles. 

The value of upholding your rights to do your work at your own time or the value of freedom (no argument, relax).

But the fact that you write it down here means it matters a lot to you. And the mere fact of writing down will reinforce it further in your subconscious mind. 

There is no right or wrong most of the time. Just weighting pros and cons and it depends on what you want to focus on (rights vs freedom)?