Desire

[28 cm unbuffed]

Hey, when it comes to attracting females and being needy, place of lack - it's all the same stuff - it's out of desire. And desire creates suffering, right?

So, how to eliminate this problem, once and forever and fully let go, while at the same time attracting desired relationship with a woman?

Thank you a lot for your view and perspective on that

[mandyjw]

No, desire itself is not the problem, the individual perspective from which the desire (ego) is attributed is mistaken, that's why it seems to hinder "you". Until you can get to the root of that/let it go you'll only being trying to rid yourself of desire. Your desire will be to rid yourself of desire but only so that you can "trick" your desire into getting what you want.

Means to an end kind of thinking, beliefs and assumptions are problematic. No one wants to be used as a means to an end, because they know that they cannot give you that fulfillment and don't want to disappoint you. That's really why a lot of women reject men who act needy, they KNOW the man will be disappointed when he gets what he wants and they don't want to be there or risk being blamed when that realization occurs.

Happy fulfilled people are attractive because anything you can add to them is already just adding to something that's already amazing. There's no pressure put on you, and so you in turn are free to be happy and fulfilled in your relationship/engagement. 

Desire in its pure form is timeless, goalless and works for no one in particular. 

 

[28 cm unbuffed]

@mandyjw

I kind of get it. I understand that, in a way, that I should get rid of the place of lack mentality in me, and then it will be just a natural processs, to attract someone, that will be just a nice addition to my already fullfilling life. Am I right?

The thing is - I already worked on myself as a mule, I am really busy and fullfilled person, there is a lot of stuff happening in my life, yet, there is still some kind of barrier? - let's call it that way.

Love your post, but you got to understand me - I'm a guy and I wil always look for a practical answer and I still have no idea what to actually do about that problem. 

[universe]

Desire does not create need. Fear does. Resistance to the present moment.

When you are needy and in your head - you try to force thing.

Force is trying to push something, it needs a lot of energy.

When you feel acceptance and in abundance you have power. You can just be.

Power doesn't require anything as it's already complete. It doesn't force, it let's things arise.

See David Hawkins

[Moon]

32 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@mandyjw

I kind of get it. I understand that, in a way, that I should get rid of the place of lack mentality in me, and then it will be just a natural processs, to attract someone, that will be just a nice addition to my already fullfilling life. Am I right?

You just described how to use the Law of Attraction to help yourself (even if you don't "believe" in it). So if you have an abundance mentality, you will naturally attract someone (actually, MANY women)! 

You attract what you believe is your current reality, not what you need. The more you need something, the more you push it away because you keep projecting out the reality where you don't have women.

32 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

Love your post, but you got to understand me - I'm a guy and I wil always look for a practical answer and I still have no idea what to actually do about that problem. 

Affirmations could be one option: "I attract women effortlessly", "Women love interacting with me" and so on.

If this stuff sounds too abstract to you, let me know.

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Moon

No need to, I get it. Progress is just really slow, and I put a lot of work in all of that stuff, and I'm just pissed, that there is still so much to do. Not sure if I will ever be fullfilled in my life. That's what really bothers me. 

Not sure if that's just because I'm somehow behind in llfe, or just life is hard in general, but fuck me, that's too much.

@universe

Yeah, I get it. 

[Gesundheit]

Desire is definitely a prerequisite for suffering. Only deluded people think otherwise. It may not necessarily cause suffering in the short term, but it will come and bite you in ass eventually, even if you're on your deathbed. The only way to escape suffering is to annihilate the ego and get rid of desire. That being said, some desires are much harder to transcend than others. Some of them require direct and consistent fulfillment before they can fade away. If you desire having a relationship, well that's because you essentially lack something in your life, and it's most likely intimacy. Because you can't create enough intimacy for yourself with yourself, you project it out onto others so that they can do that for you. So until you get to the point where you can do that on your own, you will still desire relationships.

That being said, now what to do? I don't know. Follow your intuition. It will lead you to where you need to be.

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Gesundheit

What the heck does it mean, to create intimacy with myself, lol

[Gesundheit]

Just now, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Gesundheit

What the heck does it mean, to create intimacy with myself, lol

It's something you can experience in deep meditation.