Compilation of DMT Related Trip Reports

[electroBeam]

The following posts are all of my trip reports on dmt related psychedelics. 

23/08/2020 Very Mild Ayahuasca Trip Report

This is the first time I tried a 'hard' psychedelic, as the previous ones were just san pedro/mescaline. 

 

This trip was extremely mild because my brain chemistry is weird, or I ingested the substance incorrectly. Absolutely nothing like the trip reports. Nada. 

 

I took a mid to high dose of pharmahuasca (syrian rue extract + dmt extract) took it as per gordotek's instructions.

 

The trip didn't come on until the 40 minute mark. At the 40 minute mark, there was a slight light headedness, more bliss in my body than usual, more relaxation than usual and loss of time and space moreso than usual. But no dmt machine elves, or snakes or visuals, or entering new realms, or anything like that. Or ego death either. This sensation lasted for about 4-6 hours. 

 

Contemplation Activities

Beginning

So around the 1 to 2 hour mark, I got disappointed with the experience. So I decided to try to make the most of this light headed buzzing feeling by contemplating deeply what it was.

Somehow my focus went to the question of "what is a psychedelic trip? What is ayahuasca? Why does ayahuasca make you high? If ayahuasca is a dream then how the fuck can a dream wake you up?" 

I then became very very aware of how everything right now is being created instantly. There is no creative storage for the creativity to activate from (unlike what the materialist paradigm believes. It believes when things appear, they were always there in the 3D world, and just appear when we look at them. But in reality they weren't there, they were created for the first time every millisecond, first time because memory is also a creation. Memory != truth). 

So if you were to ask, "when was jesus born?" what you would do is visualise or think about the birth of jesus. An image or thought or something pops up of when he was born, where he was born, the mood, etc. Of his birth. THIS is when Jesus was born. Jesus is being born as soon as you think about his birth. Its literally happening, his birth, as soon as you think about it. It didn't happen in the past, its happening when you think about it, in other words NOW. 

You think those thoughts are pointing to some truth. Some time when Jesus WAS born. But pointers are illusions. They don't point to anything. They point to themselves, themselves as a dream. And the TRUTH is that Jesus being born is a dream. The truth is the thought itself, not what the thought points to. 

There's actually no difference between stuff you imagine in your head, and stuff that apparently 'actually' happens. If you have the thought of having a shower, you may feel pleasant at the visualisation of the water touching your body, you body might start to feel warm, etc. Then that will encourage you to go actually have one. But You already had the shower as soon as you thought about it. Thinking about having a shower IS having a shower. You think there is some special pleasant magic inside the shower that makes you feel good, and that's why you go have a shower. But if that's truly the case then how the fuck did you feel good just by thinking and visualising it? You ARE what you seek...

Same goes with sex. I personally can have sex in my mind just as well as sex with an actual person. And that's because there's no difference. The sex in my mind is just as real as the sex in person. Sex with a person is purely conceptual. 

Not just sex, but pain, suffering, going to jail, murder, paedophilia, going to the gym, eating healthy, etc. Are ALL conceptual. 

And the world being a dream became much much more prevalent. It was just standing out at this point. I was aware that when people look at me, they aren't looking at a face, because I don't have a face. I'm headless. But God wants to keep the dream realistic, so he makes everyone who looks at me seem like I have a face, but the reality is I don't. And when people's faces look at me, the back of their head literally isn't there. 

And then this led to who are these people anyway. People with their own lives? Own ambitions, wants, needs, plans, purpose in life? Pffttttt, get real, of course they don't. They aren't there. If you ask someone what's your plan for today, and they say they are going to the shops, they didn't say that because they actually have a plan, they said that because you made up their plan on the spot. And then tricked yourself into believing they had their own plans. 

So if they don't have any of that stuff, what do they have? Well nothing. You're creating it all. 

An alternative perspective to duality/the 3D materialist world

An alternative perspective for why they are there, is because the 3D world/maya/duality is not real, its a language. Its God expressing truth through language. That means if a guru sits down in front of you. A guru didn't just sit down in front of you, God had some wisdom or knowledge or truth to share, and he decided to share it through the projections of the guru sitting down in front of you. 

And then things seem much more like an RPG game, like Zelda. 

See when Zelda is talking to some knight or peasant on the streets. Zelda as a character actually thinks those peasants or knights have their own life beyond the scene for which Zelda asked them a question, but we the players, know that they don't. Further we know that those peasants and knights were put in the game PURELY as part of Zelda's adventure. 

And this is my perspective of all humans on the planet right now, including my character electroBeam. They aren't real, or have a life beyond my awareness, they are simply there as part of the journey I'm on, and every interaction, observation, etc. Is simply God trying to tell me something about my journey and conscious evolution, just like how the peasants and knights were there just so the video game creators could tell the player something about the storyline of the video game. Everything to the contrary is simply stuff that isn't actually there. 

And what is God trying to tell me? Why is God even trying to tell me anything? Just give me and you what we both want for God's sake and quit with this indirect bullshit?

Well very paradoxically, God is trying to tell me that I am what I seek. That's it somehow. Everything that the characters in this game say, the stuff that happens in this game, all of it, is just trying to tell me that I am what I seek. 

But why not just BE God? Why must we fuck around with the game? Lets just get rid of the game then?

Because God loves to create. The entire game is just a way for God to create simply for the sake of creating. For some reason God is extremely enthusiastic about the idea of creating. The potential to create. This is why God can reincarnate as Hitler and be ok with it, because its a whole new opportunity to create. Something God loves the idea of. Creating without goal, the creation itself is the point. 

What IS God

Under all the creation was an image in my mind of a sky, clouds, and inbetween the clouds and the sky was a white spherical energy beaming out white light. This image was accompanied with the feelings of "total", "bliss", "final", "end", "ultimate", "beginning", "who you were before you were born", "truth", "love", "sacredness", "divine"

It was extremely close. It was too close, so close that you don't notice it. And it was under or before every possible assumption you can make. Awakening doesn't feel like an achievement, because you created duality to make it seem like an achievement. But you created that. You created everything. Its only an achievement if you still believe that achievement is a real thing. In the end you're just playing with your toy soldier set, pretending that one of them is realising you're you, but you're the one behind it all along anyway. 

And if you're creating everything then why can't you control the dream? Because you're operating from a first person point of view. In reality there is no first person point of view, that's all created by God. And then you might ask, well then why don't we change the dream not from the first person point of view, but from God? Well THATS WHAT YOURE DOING NOW. You're pretending you're in the first person, and you're pretending that you can't control the dream. And that IS what you want. You want to not control the dream, otherwise this reality wouldn't be what it is now. 

You're like a shakespeare character on stage, asking the audience why must the play be this way? HELLO! You made it that way before the stage began, pretending that you don't like the way things are going is what you wanted all along.

Drop the first person, and all your problems will go away. But its likely you wont do that, because how else are you going to express your full creativity as God without being in the first person?

Did the Ayahuasca caused my light tingling feeling in my head? Or was that placebo?

Honestly this was the biggest question on my mind the entire time. I usually feel bliss, so how do I know whether its the ayahuasca doing it? And this question is important, because if the ayahuasca is not doing it then why take the ayahuasca?

Well this is where the 'game' starts to break down. You're pretending that this question is important, but it isn't. Life is all 1 experience. Whether you got high or not is completely unrelated to taking the ayahuasca. All the highness you get is from God (the Godhead) and taking the ayahuasca is just an expression of that. Its God's creation and story he's making to signify waking up in the story. The ayahuasca is an illusion, yet you still take it to wake up because God's making the story that way. You think your first person IS TRUTH, and therefore you think FREE WILL is truth, and taking ayahuasca makes you high IS TRUTH, and meditating wakes you up IS TRUTH. But the real truth is, the first person perspective is a dream AS A WHOLE. The entire experience from taking the ayahuasca to waking up AS A WHOLE is ONE BIG DREAM. You're a character. You think you seriously care about meditating, taking ayahuasca, etc? Hell no. That's an illusion, you're just pretending you do. Pretending to such an extent that it feels super real. God isn't trying to take ayahuasca to wake up, because that's needed. God is pretending to take ayahuasca to wake up as part of the story and as part of making an epic dance/play.

Why was my psychedelic trip so different to others? Why didn't I see DMT machine elves and crazy realms and all the shit I wanted to see!!

Well why do you even want to see that stuff in the first place? What's so good about DMT machine elf realms? Ohhh tada! You think those realms are REAL and TRUE! You don't think they are a dream, you think they are truth! That's where the appeal is coming from.

But where are you getting your ideas of dmt machine elf land from? Concepts from youtube videos and trip reports! And what are they? Dreams! And why do you want to see dmt machine elf land? Because you're confusing the dream for TRUTH! You don't understand what a pointer truly is. 

And this is what all those hippies and shamans are doing. They are having an experience on ayahuasca, projecting stuff like machine elfs, then confusing those projections for TRUTH! When its you who created it all along. 

And the hippies and shamans are ultimately doing this due to God's love for creation.

 

Contemplation

Contemplation is great, but I've realised, its a creative process rather than a discovery process. Discovering God is actually just letting go. Contemplation is about creating. 

I could contemplate for the next trillion years, get amazing mystical insights, yet be no closer to BEING god. 

And those mystical insights are still good by themselves, because as said before, creating is fricken awesome! Its such a pleasure to do.

But when it comes to waking up, its about letting go, not contemplating. 

 

Moving forward for me personally

So as said in the report, this was extremely mild and I aint happy about it. So I'll be upping the dose 5x times next time. Although I've got this strange feeling that psychedelics of this variant don't work for me. 

I still have a desire to seek. I'm still not happy with my understanding of reality. So I'll continue on. 

 

Edited August 23, 2020 by electroBeam

[Member]

Nice interpretation. Every time I think about first person POV and God, I remember about this silly movie scene:

God making up stories for its own amusement lol. Except that isn't really 'amusement' like people think so.

As for the machine elves, I've seen some of the so-called interdimensional beings that most people think are fairy tales. They look just as real as a person standing next to you, so don't underestimate the importance of other dimensions and beings because they can teach you more than any human could ever do.

Edited August 28, 2020 by Member

[electroBeam]

@Member cool!

29/08/2020 Ayahuasca Trip Report 2

This again was extremely mild. Took ayahuasca this time. Brewed syrian rue and 50 psychotria viridis leaves and drank both. 

Very very very very mild trip. Felt a slight high, but that's it.

State I was in during peak:

Quote

If i was to summarise this in a sentence, I would say its compete and utter harmony with the dream and form. My identification is not the body or the entity/humanistic identity, its an identity that encompasses the entire present moment. Its like the entire present moment is my body. The human body, and all its other components, is just 1 cog out of a trillion. 

My 'ego' has blended into the present moment/dissolved. I feel like I have just blended into the present moment/consciousness. Just dissolved into it completely. 

There's no resistance at all. Its(awareness) completely smooth. Hence why I summarise it as completely harmonious. Everything that's happening in the present moment is working together perfectly. 

There's no humaness going on here. No resistance. No fighting. No human reactions (like shock or jealousy or guilt or judgement or anything) its like I the human isn't even there. Its completely dissolved. The body is like a finger apart of a bigger whole. 

Complete surrender of everything, for everything. Complete, absolutely complete surrender. 

I am like a designer/master engineer whose piecing everything together with the soul goal of making the most love possible. I'm working with the present moment more smoothly then I work with anyone else, more smoothly than my parents, best colleagues, etc. Its like all the parts of the present moment (God's employees) are all so on board with God's vision that they all just work perfectly. Its like a perfectly working tribe. Tbh seeing how well all the parts of God are working together right now is making me shed tears a bit. Its... like watching a company that has the pure goal of making everyone feel loved, and all the employees are dedicating their entire life to it for little pay, and they are all so loving and so alturistic that they are all just working together without fighting at all, and they are doing an extremely effective job, with absolutely no desire for credit for their work. They have no ego and they are just working perfectly together. And this has been happening all along. This is so unexpected. I feel very grateful. 

I get this strong sense of purple stage shamaness, integrating and being fully in harmony with nature... except expand it to the entire dream/universe. Everything, literally everything in the present moment and dream... the sun, the planets, dark matter, my story, all the reincarnations, my past, my future, the ego, the devil, is all working together absolutely perfectly to architect the perfect solution for maximising love. All of those things ^^ are god's employees working perfectly passionately, perfect communication, perfect integration, perfect intelligence, perfect mastery, to make maximum love.

Helping others, being alturistic, is literally anti ego. And its better than being egoic. 

Things are just happening. No need to think about it or question it or stop and worry about it or anything like that. It just happens. Because its perfectly smooth/no resistance. 

It knows EXACTLY how to maximize love. It knows the perfect blueprint/engineering design to make absolute love happen. 

There's this huge sense of perfectness. Like maximumness. Like ultimately perfect. Like can't get any more perfect. The design to produce absolute love can't be improved, its literally the best it can possibly be. Like that's what the present moment/consciousness literally is. Its literally perfect design of maximum love. 

Huge sense of loving everything. Unconditionally. And its not doing it for fun. Its doing it because ITS IMPORTANT TO DO SO. Its a very visionary, noble, drive to love unconditionally. God really fucken sees and is aware of the massive, massive, massive, massive importance of loving everything unconditionally. Its like a super important mission to do so. Its like very very noble and necessary. Its the ONLY important thing to do in this universe, everything else is not important. 

The significance of helping others, having no ego and dissolving with the present moment and just working with the present moment perfectly to achieve perfect love has really hit me in this 'trip'. I've just been hit with the deep deep deep deep deep deep deep signficance and importance and necessity of being alturistic and working with god and all his little minions collectively to achieve perfect love and harmony(gosh that sounds so SD green in retrospect hahaha....). 

Deep Deep Deep Deep sense of gratefulness and 'togetherness'. No aloneness going on at all. I do not feel like I am God all alone at all. I feel like I'm connecting with a trillion of God's little minions/dreams and we all have the same desire, the same goals, we all love each other and we are all just trying to help each other with massive passion to do so. And we are all willing to completely let go and surrender everything for each other to help each other out.

Absolutely 0 arrogance, 100% humility, there's 0 space for hatred, or judgement, or anything egoic. Its completely alturism. Completely help other. That's it, help other with massive passion. No credit or laziness, just help other and that's it.

Perfect motivation and passion comes from 0 resistance. Passion and motivation increases as resistance decreases. Resistance IS ego. Resistance is identification with body mind. Less identification with body mind, more passion and motivation. 

 

Best Attempt to come up with a plan to make this state permanent. To take back this state so that it is baseline consciousness.

1. Reread the above, and remember it 1000x a day.

2. Dealing with the atrocities in the world(narcissists, assholes, racists, homophobes, injustice, etc): Complete Harmony with the present moment and dream. integrate all aspects of present moment (including atrocities above) to maximise love. At the expense of all personal gain. If a cop comes over and arrests you for no reason, the best thing to do is to be in harmony with the cop and act in the least egoic way and maximise the love of the situation FOR the cop and the entire present moment as whole. 

When interacting with others, orient yourself to integrate with them. Cooperate with them. Align yourself with them. Be in harmony with them. Integrate yourself so much with them that you literally BE them. It feels like you are 100% connected to them. It feels like the body of your physical avatar is 1 finger, while their body is another finger. And both are working perfectly together. 

If you cannot do it, the trick is to be an optimist and to view everything in a way which makes cooperation possible. Makes working together, with them, as a collective whole, possible. This does not necessarily mean that the person will be happy about whatever you do. What it means is you align with god, and act in accord to the present moment to get the best outcome. The person isn't angry based on you projecting trauma or being a bitch, but by you letting go of ego resistance, completely surrendering and being in harmony with getting them to interact with you in the best way possible for maximising love, regardless of what that way is (even if its violence/they act violent towards you). 

This requires completely letting go of the ego. 

3. Big picture, big picture, big picture. Go meta and meta and meta and meta and meta and meta. Go meta on EVERYTHING, then go meta on that, then go meta on that, and that and that and that. So meta that the human body is 1 tiny cog out of a thousand cogs working together as a whole. 

4. Make your goal, motivation and passion around the highest/biggest picture result for the dream. maximising love over lifetimes. Maximise love not for yourself, or even for the planet. Maximise love for the entire dream. Entire dream. Entire dream. Entire dream. Entire dream. Entire dream. 

5. Surrender resistance whenever you feel it. Replace the resistance for the bigger picture. Let go and be in harmony with everything. Simultaneously be a completely dedicated employee to god as a partial aspect of him/her,  while being the entire thing at the same time.

6. prioritise smoothness, harmony over resistance: guilt, judgement, fear, etc. And the harmony is aligned by God's ultimate purpose and mission of maximal love. 

7. Integration and harmony does not have conditions. Its perfectly possible to integrate and harmonise with anger, embarrassment, judgement, etc of others. Others can get angry at you, and you can still be in harmony with them. The point is to act in accord with the best possible way to maximise love, and to reduce/drop/eliminate resistance and egoic drives to do so. 

8. Plan your life as 1 big experience as a whole. Integrate dating, your career and spirituality all together to make a cohesive whole where each aspect of your life compliments the other. 

 

The advice above is also highly practical for your life purpose because the most effective/efficient way to work on your LP is to integrate as whole with the present moment. 

 

Edited August 29, 2020 by electroBeam