Why is it so hard to approach I’m so tired

[AlwaysJoggin]

I know this the one topic that been talked about 1 billion time but man. I’m 6’1 very social guy I meditate occasionally my looks are above average and calm af but I can’t do cold approach i freeze from fear every time I’ve been going for walks in these busy areas and i see all these beautiful girls I just can’t do it too scared lol so tired been walking all day and I didn’t approach any girl is there a fast easy way to help me get over this like a pill ? idk i wish I wasn’t so scared. Help

Edited August 21, 2020 by AlwaysJoggin

[Sleyker]

Don't supress the fear. Welcome it, feel it, and go with it.

I can relate because I've had days where I just walk around scared out of my mind, thinking about approaching but not actually doing it, just like you. 

As a warm-up, you can try saying hi to random people as they walk by. Look them in the eye and say hi, and try to feel comfortable in your body while you do so.

Edited August 22, 2020 by Sleyker

[AlwaysJoggin]

@Sleyker yo thanks for the confidence boost lol it’s mentally exusting specially if you want results fast but still i donno how to welcome it i just get lost in my head but I’ll keep trying.  How about at night at clubs is it just me of it’s much easier to approach but no results even ugly bitches reject you and at night girl can be super rude. and I don’t have a group of stubs to hit the club with which is also a problem lmaoo . Any ideas? 

[Leo Gura]

45 minutes ago, AlwaysJoggin said:

is there a fast easy way to help me get over this like a pill

It's called alcohol. Which is why bars and clubs exist.

That's probably how you were born.

45 minutes ago, AlwaysJoggin said:

but I can’t do cold approach i freeze from fear every time

Haha! Yeah... that's how it is for every guy. Welcome to the world of cold approach.

Fear is there to be faced.

Facing that fear is what separates a boy from a man. There is no short-cut but to do it.

[electroBeam]

The fear is coming from thinking about what WILL happen instead of what's happening now. 

You're confusing the future for truth, when actually the future is a lie/imaginary. 

Try and let go of the future and 'jump off a cliff' or have a leap of faith. 

[Leo Gura]

8 minutes ago, AlwaysJoggin said:

I don’t have a group of stubs to hit the club with which is also a problem lmaoo . Any ideas?

1) It requires A LOT of practice, which requires SERIOUS motivation and vision

2) Finding a few local wing-men is a game-changer. It's very hard to start solo. You need at least 1 experienced wing-man who's into approaching girls and is serious about it.

It takes 1000+ approaches to start to get comfortable with it. And it takes 5000+ approaches to get good.

Tired?? You haven't even begun yet

[AlwaysJoggin]

@electroBeam nice ?? 

[AlwaysJoggin]

@Leo Gura  As a young man in my 20s this the most thing i want, sex! 
its my life porpuse right now to be good with women and get laid left and right and have a girlfriend <<< you see how needy i am and how bad i want this lmao

16 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

1) It requires A LOT of practice, which requires SERIOUS motivation and vision

Edited August 22, 2020 by AlwaysJoggin

[Roy]

Picture yourself as someone who approaches women, visualize it. What does it look like exactly? I mean try your best to be vivid about this. What are you wearing? What vibe are you sending out? What are you going to say?

Now whenever those bad thoughts and anxieties come up, stop yourself and remember your vision. Make this a habit.

Notice how both outcomes that you're imagining are versions of the future? Which one would you rather spend time thinking of?

It may not seem like it but you can choose which one you want.

So, pick the one that makes you feel good! Easier said than done obviously, the mind is a tricky thing. Just wanted to show you that it is possible.

[Leo Gura]

22 minutes ago, AlwaysJoggin said:

its my life porpuse right now to be good with women and get laid left and right and have a girlfriend

I feel ya.

But this is not a life purpose. This is a satisfaction of your personal needs.

And if this is the thing you most want, how come you are too weak to approach? You should be doing 20 approach/day rather than making excuses.

[AlwaysJoggin]

@Roy appreciated it I’ll trY this. as when I’m out there I forget everything fear takes over. 

[AlwaysJoggin]

@Leo Gura damn. What’s right

[Roy]

1 minute ago, AlwaysJoggin said:

appreciated it I’ll trY this. as when I’m out there I forget everything fear takes over. 

It's tough for sure. Your mind will fuck with you and play a lot of games, it will rationalize that the fear is a good comfortable thing and keep you from getting embarrassed etc.

It's just a matter of rewiring your thoughts so you default to the positive healthy vision more often. Frustration will come in as this will take a lot of practice, and when you fail you will be discouraged.

The most important thing is to just be mindful and be proud of your progress because every little bit helps. Say one week you wanted to approach 10 girls but you only talked to 3 because fear crippled you the 7 other times. As you getting better at catching yourself feeling scared and looking for reasons to bail out a few weeks in the future you approach 8/10 times.

Progress not perfection!

[Recursoinominado]

The first one is always brutal but with time you get used to it and "jump in" easier. 

As RSD Tyler said: "It is easier to approach a 10 in the end of the night that a 6 in the beginning."

He is referring to the concept of momentum. After one or two approaches, if you keep approaching without thinking too much, you start to enter this momentum and is all smother from there. 

I like to have a meta-perspective of the approach. 

All i see is that i have to physically move my body until i am in front of a girl and start talking like i am talking to a mirror or something. I fully concentrate on what i can control. This helps a lot, I have found. 

[Arcangelo]

 

4 hours ago, AlwaysJoggin said:

is there a fast easy way to help me get over this

Yeah, have balls.

[sidaz10]

approach waste of time well in my country ... just get good tinder photos 

[Moon]

 

15 hours ago, AlwaysJoggin said:

its my life porpuse right now to be good with women and get laid left and right and have a girlfriend <<< you see how needy i am and how bad i want this lmao

The more you focus on something with negativity, the less likely it is you will get it

It's not hard for you to approach women. You have no fear. You are getting laid. Your girlfriend is coming. 

Having a way to release these ego traps like journalling can help, also visualization as mentioned above by Roy

Pickup doesn't have to be hard. Getting girls doesn't have to be tough. Make it fun! Visualize yourself having fun whilst your picking up and visualize amazing scenarios happening and the best outcomes and FEEL this positive energy whilst visualizing. Keep doing this. Your reality will change! 

[Gesundheit]

Change your mindset. Approach with the intention of getting rejected. Seriously try that out and see how powerful it is.

[The Don]

It's not that hard to approach women.

You need to fully develop yourself into an ALPHA male.

A mature human being has little fears.

By constantly confronting your fears you'll be less anxious and become familiar with stillness, a crystal-clear state of mind where you can do basically anything.

It took me about two years to almost get rid of my social anxiety problem. I was among people all the time. That helped me confront my fears and forced me to interact with those around me.

By regularly exposing yourself to the things you fear, you'll be able to get rid of the fear. There's no shortcut. Do it.

If it gets awkward when approaching women, no problem. Don't judge yourself. Just keep going even when you'll have feelings of doubt and despair.

After a while, you'll feel more comfortable in your own skin. Your levels of confidence will spike. You'll be less of a creep. Women will start noticing you.

You gotta do it, buddy.

[ertopolice]

Approaching but also WHERE to approach (gym, libraries, seminars..use to be my top places)

In my case as a female I struggle to meet males who I'd be interested in. I myself as a female have no problem with cold approaching. I also appreciate being cold approached by males. 

Use to shock some people as a female.

Any tips?

Edited August 22, 2020 by ertopolice